WOW 800 posts. Come on guys and gals, make me laugh or is everybody just living a boring life with no mistakes?
well last weekend i was walking along, and i saw 2 cars pull over, and the drivers talked to each other, then i got closer, and recognised the cars(2 of my friends) but i almost burst out laughing as the back window wound down in one car, and sam jumped out of that window and dived into the other car, he then just sat there calmly and asked where they were going like nothing had happened(i found this incredibly funny for some reason)
When you arrive home from the pub always , always turn on the lights. Yes my fellow drinkers its a pain trying to locate the light switch, but believe me i now know its worth the effort. I have just got home and think to myself that a glass of grapefruit cordial will help stop the headache and de-hydration later. I now have to clean up my kitchen. It was supposed to be grapefruit cordial that i took a huge mouthfull of.But because like most people who have had a bit of a night, with the lights off i picked up the wrong bottle. It was infact an exceedingly hideous drink called cooking oil Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! The fountain of vomit i have just produced amazed even me. I will now make sure the cordial and cooking oil live as far apart as possible. I can be a silly twat sometimes Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
This is why I generally go with tap water Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Which reminds me - ages ago, I was in Austria on holiday with my family. Our German was rather non-existent, but we needed some food and drink, so while my Dad went for a run, we bought assorted items, including a beverage called Apfelessig, not realising that 'essig' means vinegar. We quickly realised upon pouring it that it was vinegar, but decided it would be amusing to offer some to my dad when he returned. Needless to say the running had made him thirsty, and upon being offered a drink, he proceeded to swig half a glass, before realising his mistake. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! We have yet to be forgiven.
apple vinegar? weird. well, we were in japanese class, we were supposed ot be practising ou sentence structure, and some guys came up with game where they got props from teh drama room and would give instructions of what the other people had to wear, needless to say that 2 of them were wearing dresses, one was wearnig a really gay shirt and i was wearnig a kimono with sandals hanging off my ears. unfortunately the teacher decided to end our embarrassment before we dared each other to walk around the block and interupt classes while shouting insults at each other in german. maybe next time
I was at a local zoo with my girlfriend the other day, we were looking at a giraffe leaning its head over a fence to eat some tall grass on the other side. So i was telling my girlfriend that if a giraffe has its head down too long, because of it blood pressure, it will pass out and die. Then I heard a little girl crying behind me "mommy he said the giraffes are going to die!!!" I looked at her mom and she was shaking her head looking at me with a 'what the fuck?' look on her face. It was a classic moment really....
Have you ever known something that someone else wasnt supposed to know and you accidentally tell them. me: Hey Billy, how do you feel about your dad losing his job? billy: WHAT!?!?! me: Of eff... Im now an enemy of that family.
Now this is what this thread is about. Those little "oh fuck" moments that make you cringe at the time, but after there a giggle. Nice one Gondolin. Welcome to the Cringe Club. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
i wish i was there to see the look on there faces Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
I have a better one. This was about 2 or 3 years ago at this girls 16th birthday. The music was loud and I was talking to a friend and I was screaming really loud "Yea, she is the biggest whore at this party!" Right when the music stopped I continued screaming "...Biggest whore at this party!" That was the worst moment of my life. Then all the girls thought I was talking about them.
Nice one! read my one about the Latin teacher at the start of the thread. Because of that i did'nt get laid by her friends for ages. Your name is mud for a while i think, but its still fucking funny Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Speaking of saying things to loud where people can hear you. I was spending a few days with a friend of mine in his apartment where he goes to college. We were sitting on his balcony watching all the idiots party and get drunk and what not. This car pulls up and the hottest girl I have ever seen got out. I started joking around and this is the one line that got heard. "Wow, I wouldnt mind having sex with that chick next door." The girl heard me and knew exactly that I was talking about her. She yelled for Mark, her boyfriend, and he came out. I hightailed it back in the apartment and locked the doors. She saw me the next day when I left the apartment and said "Don't let my boyfriend know it's you who said that, he's looking to beat the s*** out of you." I left the next day.
This happend a couple months ago, I just got a job at a very nice restaurant as a line cook. So I was having a bad night and had already messed up a couple of orders and the sous chef was a little pissed at me. I was garnishing a dish with some caviar and he walks around the corner and looks at me at the same moment that I drop the container of caviar on the floor. If i had a gun, I would have shot my self. It was a 2oz container that costs over $60. my night did not get any better, Im surprised I still have my job....
Once there was this really funny thread. People liked to post in it a lot. Then I started to post stuff in it too. Then every body else stopped. It was really embarassing.
This was told to me by a girlfriend. She was working in the states at one of those summer camps and started seeing this guy. She fell for him big time and it was all skipping and faries. After a while she found out that he was playing away from home and so set about getting revenge. Picture the scene, she is already in bed dressed all sexy when her guy comes in. He starts to get all aroused and in the mood. She starts to jack him off, and after a couple of minutes he starts screaming. Really screaming, to get her revenge on him, whilst laying in bed waiting for him she had been holding her hand in a big bowl of very , very hot chilli. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! What a bitch! but what a star Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Speaking of chilli's , i read about an Indian guy who owed money to some other guy. He did'nt pay him so the other guy went round to his house with three friends and inserted a 6 inch chilli up his ass Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
one night me and some freinds got realy drunk at our little skate park that we built. I had eaten some broccoli earlier. I vomited next to one of the quarter pipes. The next morning I walked down to the skate park and one of the little stoner kids dog is over by the quarter pipe eating some thing. so I asked Ben what his dog was eating, "looks like some old broccoli" he tells me. "you might not want to let him eat that" "its fine, it just someones old broccoli" "yeah... you could put it that way..." Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
