Thats not an insult in so many different contexts but I take as a mortal blow so as to show I will turn the other cheek. My face the cheek of my face I turn. Humility can be confusing.
I look at least three to four decades younger than them and that is another reason. They see it as naivety or vulnerability which is even creepier. The arrogance of the gold toothed fuker is hideous. For some ungodly reason, he thinks he is all that. Everytime he makes even a greeting, he says it in a commanding tone. And he struts puffing out his chest. He doesnt walk. Does he think he is napoleon? Lol. Jesus, there are so many bizarre people in the world. I have to remind myself a piece of shit female gave birth to a piece of shit male that harasses or harms others passing on her disgusting genes. Even inner beauty can override outer looks or less intelligence just by some respect and consideration for others but they are scummier in the inside. To be so ugly and so vain. Lol There are beautiful people who more humble or dont even depend on their looks.
I don't think this question is inappropriate per se. Maybe he just wanted to know if there are room-related reasons for your leave. E.g. badly working heating, draft from the windows, damp corners that cause mold and the like; conditions which are not obvious in a short visit. Also noisy or smelly neighbors ... reasons not to like a space (anymore) are plenty. I see no harassment in this sort of question. And I'd ask the same question before moving in a new place - if the former person doesn't like the space anymore, there might be reasons that are interesting to me too, to check if I want to live there despite these resons. So I want to know why they leave, and if the reason is a bad or problematic condition of the space. You can always answer "personal reasons" without disclosing any.
This is sure true but since i know how he asked along with tone etc, it wasnt the most fitting first question. He was only asking to find out info not the place. This is why my answer had to be a certain way. This one wasnt harassment but still not good manners.
Besides, this is all just harmless venting online where its water off anyones back as strangers are not personally invested. To people you know, they feel too much pressure as they are powerless to do anything.
But your humility isnt really real. I take that you live rather as a hermit to *avoid* having to judge people and sometimes forced to. This is what makes your point of view of neutrality farcical and disingenuous though i can tell you believe it sincerely. How convenient for you and rather self-righteous. You dislike those who judge, you only judge those who judge but unwittingly ignore those who are causing them to as they are just not perfect. Oh? Are you sure you are not a bible thumper of degenerate passivity and masochistic approval of hypocritical assholes so they can be validated as everything is hippy, good and right? You and the ex would be two peas in a pod because anything goes and dont judge but he will judge you for pointing out how hes fuking you over. Everything must remain under wraps. Lol. And uh no. Speaking out at what is wrong does not mean the one who is speaking out or addressing the uglies are as guilty as the perpetrator. Manipulative but classic. Do you know he used the exact same line? Says more about you than me? This is one of the classic ones of predators. Do you know why they can use it so much? Because they are the ones causing most or all of the trouble! They dont need to judge others as much because they are too busy taking advantage or screwing others. Then they can use the tired cliche of 'we are all sinners' to excuse themselves and to guilt the other party if this is pointed out. This is the exact ploy he used that he shouldnt be judged for anything and who am i or anyone to judge him even though he has moral responsibilities.
This is hilarious. Its okay for assholes to be self-centered and denigrate and call women bitches except prostitutes. Its okay to call his sister, girlfriend, niece bitches when they disagree or dont meet his outrageous demands. Its okay to lie to your mother. Its okay to lie to your exwife. Its okay to lie to your girlfriend. Its okay to lie about your whereabouts and be shifty at work. Its okay to do illegal hardcore drugs. Its okay for your whore girlfriends to not care if you are cheating and help you do so. Its okay to commit betrayal. Its okay to be abusive and never take responsibility for own wrongs but constantly point back you are being judged. Its okay to demand things be your way without consideration for others - all because one can do this without openly judging anyone in the process. Because judging others is the worst offense ever and if all the judgemental people disappeared, only good and wonderful people would be left on the planet as one can clearly witness with the wonderful attributes above.. Along with no brains and no moral integrity.
Yes judging people is not really right is it. Yet we all seem to fall into this trap. I cant disagree with so much of what you say. I have been guilty of so many things I regret but it does not fix the damage. I had no idea about the alpha male thing and sadly upon reflection I find that was me when younger. It came as a shock but you were so right about me in that context. Thats why I feel sad because I feel responsible by proxy. Its not easy to have the realisation about oneself you provide. I could have been better for all my partners. Happily I treat people better now. I learn from a lady who sounded like you, she pointed out the things you do and at first I thought she was a nutter, well she was, but she openned my eyes. I am a hermit because I became worried that I may hurt someone. Things would tick me off and my alfa male responce was over the top. But happily I have reached a place whete I dont control or manipulate the group and you know things work out fine without my guidance. I have learnt not to be critical. I now look for something good in every one. I saw myself as peaceful others saw me as crazy and violet. I never hurt anyone but that is not how others saw me. When I assembled the episodes from which they formed their view and tried to see me as they saw me it dawned on me. To them on their evidence I was wild crazy and dangerous. So many things you say hit home for me and I understand why you are angry... well as best I can as no one really knows how another thinks.
Never hit a lady and would kill anyone who did. The problem that most concerns me is domestic violence. Sadly in Australia there is one lady killed by an ex every week and little to nothing is done. It is heart breaking.
Excuse me, those are your possibly 'too much weed' induced or just a 'closet psycho' beliefs. If we didnt judge, there would be lawlessness.
It is dangerous to guess at what problems I have. I went to a shrink once. Poor thing she was dying of cancer and trying to carry on as all was normal. Ironically I gave her the councelling and she really appreciated my input. She said I really helped her but I never got to talk about my problem. I think I am ok now.
I put up an ad with pics to expedite the process of renting the room concurrently with move out (landlord aware) yet found out today the other tenant is moving in my room same day after move out and another will be taking his room, actually a former tenant returning who has a hospice worker. The landlord was feigning (lying) for some bizarre trifling reason that his ad is still running as if the room has not been rented. He told the other tenant that if another moves in right after he will get deposit back same day and he left the room dirty. I asked when he would like to do room inspection suggesting wednesday or thursday. No response even 24 hours later. Had to ask again, replied he will come next day which was tuesday. Not even an advance notice so i clean not only my own room but the whole house in case he needs to show to a new tenant in one day and pack everything. I informed him that the room was clean and ready for inspection, he replies that he will do the inspection after move out, leave keys with another tenant and he will mail deposit to forwarding address. All this after he said he would be there the next day to do inspection not even giving me an extra day to clean or pack. The other tenant asks why im being treated differently considering he gave deposit to other man same day and room wasnt cleaned. I explain situation and he is somewhat outraged himself as he has seen i am the only one who cleans and even more thoroughly than the once a month spotty maid service. Coupled with the fact i was the only one who was harassed by the landlord but also only tenant who actually kept up the place. I ask the landlord what is the reason why and this is his answer verbatim: "The reason I can't give it to you before you leave is due to the guy that's moving in your room already paid his deposit." How does that make any sense? The fact he is not a new tenant moving in my room is petty or inconsequential when he has the deposit from the other tenant. No professionalism, no advance notice, and he operates by constantly lying even when he doesnt need to. For instance, i texted about the ad and if i needed to edit anything. No response except his move to delete his ad with no pics. Later had convo about referring replies and that a prospective tenant was quoted a higher price than the ad to which i asked why. His response was 'what ad? I didnt ask you to do anything!' but he knew about the ad to which i told him that i texted him before to let me know if i should edit or delete. So this stupid, feigned back and forth convo about correct price and referring all replies when he already had the rooms rented and im telling people that the room is still available and the room is not available!! How completely nonsensical and crazy is that?! Also he will just spring something with no consideration or advance notice. Most unprofessional, dishonest and trifling landlord. He deserves to be strangled. He is a clusterfuck.
One problem with sexual harassment is it only applies to male behavior that makes women feel uncomfortable. It is not defined for female behavior that makes men feel uncomfortable. If a female propositions a male for sex, he is not offended in the same way. The reason is the male and female look at this differently. Men get under women's skin, by using sexual or violent behavior. This type of behavior bothers men less, when women do this to men. If a cute female wants to have sex with me under threat of hitting me, I will not get too upset. I may take it as a complement. If I do that to her, it will be worse for her, since these things impact women, differently. One reason is locker room talk often is based on humiliation and rough play that includes sexual innuendo. Men are sort of conditioned to deal with it, and settle it there. Women get under the male skin in a different way; nag, bitch and complain, accurately to hit the heart. A husband may love and know his wife for decades, but she can get under his skin and enrages him this way. This should be the criteria for the harassment of men, since this bothers males more than sex talk. In this was the law, to be fair, the typical feminist, who complains about men, in stereotypical ways, might be charged with harassment if males get upset. Picture a world where the opposite is the case. In this world, if any women nags in public, she could be arrested for harassment, since this makes men uncomfortable. If men nag at women, most women think this is a cute, since it is not as accurate, so few women complain. On the other hand, since men don't feel intimated if the ladies sexually harass them, this is considered acceptable for both sexes allowing men to say anything to women when it comes to sexual innuendo.
And i still havent recieved my deposit back. Its almost close to skirting or soon past the 45 day mark landlords have in the state of maryland. Always had an excuse each and everytime asked about it from he accidentally wrote wrong address and returned which he didnt resend with the correct address then later said after he collects rent this month. What is so disgusting is he was so eager to get the forwarding address even before i moved but is not sending out deposit but dragging it out. He texted me day before i even moved, 'waiting on forwarding address' pretense his motivation is straight and official yet his trifling, petty gaming ass cant send it out for one reason or another even telling me after two weeks, you 'just moved out, relax!!!!' another weeks and his excuse it was returned with wrong zip. I promptly let him know i gave him the correct address before which he replied he got it. Then his excuse he must have wrote the wrong address by mistake. Then i ask him to resend it out to correct address and no response. A week later text still have recieved nothiing in mail and says he will be collecting rent this month and to 'get off his back'. If i even ask about it, its bothering him. Unfukingbelievable. Now its been way past a month, only one more week or else past the 45 days landlords have by law to return deposit. Some states its 30 days. I cant hate this person because he is just too low/petty, sinister, bitchy/conniving for a man and contemptible.
Faulty analogy. Nagging is not comparable to sexual harrassment. a] sexual harrassment is not about making someone "uncomfortable"; it is about violating their human rights. 2] nagging is not sexually based, so it is not singling someone out over their gender. finally] nagging is an act that takes place within a mutually-consenting relationship. I fail to see how a mere acquaintance could "nag" another person without that relationship being present. It would simply be classified as garden-variety harrassment.
I imagine if the sheriff showed up at his door to collect on your behalf, he might straighten out his act PDQ.
What should i do? I was told its a civil matter so the police wont do anything. Im in another state and the energy and money to take it to small claims court is not worth it. He knows all this plus i would have to travel back up there and find a place to stay to do it. This is the problem with the law in how it doesnt see how people take advantage this way. Now he doesnt respond at all to any inquiries about deposit.
And i cant just pick up and go as i dont have finances for that. Why are there so many loopholes for people to get away with criminal behavior? If he doesnt feel i have the power and resources to threaten he can just get away with theft. Thats another problem as landlords know all about your finances and your whereabouts etc.
