Spanking children, a parent's right ?

The thing here is each child is different. Just because it backfired for you doesn't mean we have all encountered the same reaction when we have tried it on our own children. I can honestly say that my kids never went on about it, talking about it as your son is doing. They never thought it was then okay to hit another child, if they were doing something wrong. My kids did not have the same confusion that yours is going through. Maybe if mine had I would not have thought that spanking had been the best idea at the time. I don't regret spanking them the few times that I have because in my case it had a positive effect. I can't come up with anything that they did afterwards that was a negative behavior caused by the spanking.

I also think that there wasn't negative or long lasting effects on my kids because it is NOT something I did a lot or on a regular basis. A spanking a few times in ones life is not the same as a child that is spanked on a regular basis for many yrs. Also I sat with them and explained what I did afterwards and expressed how I loved them and hugged them and such. It wasn't like I was a in a rage and stayed mad at them all day or night.

Just for the record I do think that a lot of parents do try other methods first. When they have exhausted those and nothing works, they sometimes resort to spanking. That is what happened to me anyway.

There are parents out there, that hit and ask questions later or use that as a primary method of punishment. I DO NOT agree with that.

 

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I didn't post about religion.

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As a mod, I would think you wouldn't hijack the thread with over the top hysterical rantings. Then throw a hissy fit about the thread, which you derailed, being in teh wrong section. If you didn't know, this thread is about spanking.

spank
v. spanked, spank·ing, spanks

v. tr.
To slap on the buttocks with a flat object or with the open hand, as for punishment.

Is the dictionary proof enough for you? So please stop with the rantings about genital mutilation, broken bones, killings, wife beating, etc.

 

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i never said you did orleander.

My complaint was quite clear, one side of this debate is using scientific evidence and the other is using "this is the way we have always done it" or "it never hurt me".

Now tell me how different this argument is to the one i was trying to have with "Dr" Nasie whatsherface about the clinical evidence that homeopathy works or not?

Your right though i did go over the top but i was sick and tired of the other side posting no evidence while saying "there is no evidence".

Now aparently i owe you in paticular an apology because i mixed up what you suport and if that is the case i do apologise. Im not going to go back through 24 pages to find out if and how i made that mestake but im sorry for it.

My comment about religion wasnt actually about religion PER SAY it was about the way religion is delt with here where you have a whole bunch of people saying that the bible is proof of god and god is proof of the bible. That is the main reason i dont often venture into the religious section but to find this lack of adherance to basic levels of science HERE is disapointing

 

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Wait, I don't get you here. Are you saying that I don't respect or admire my mother because she hit me when I was three? Oh and I called my brother and apologized for hitting him all of the time, like I said I would and he said, "It's okay...retard". You see how am I supposed to retaliate to that, without calling him names or throwing something at him?
Spanking however did not work well with my younger brother because of his defiant personality. When my mother realized that spanking had no effect she changed her methods. I'm not a parent, but it seems to me that parenting is just trial and error. I listen to parents talk about it all of the time. "Maybe I shouldn't have yelled at him for that" or "Maybe I should have let her do this" but its too late can't take it back so you just do something different next time.

 

Spanking in the U.S.

Americans can best be described as culturally conflicted about spanking. Many parents report having a negative view of the practice, but in one study more than 90% of those surveyed admitted having spanked their children by the age of 3 or 4.

In a 2004 study, Johns Hopkins University researchers examined spanking practices and outcomes among different racial and ethnic groups within the U.S. While spanking was linked to later behavior problems in white children, this was not true of black or Hispanic children who were spanked.

Eric Slade, PhD -- one of the study's researchers -- tells WebMD that spanking is more culturally accepted among blacks and Hispanics in the U.S. than among whites, and this might explain its lack of a link to future behavior.

Since the studies on spanking almost universally rely on self-reported surveys, the impact of spanking on future behavior is very difficult to measure, Slade says.

In a review of the research published in 2002, 27 studies linked spanking with more physically aggressive attitudes toward other children.

"The problem is that we can't really say from the studies if it is spanking that is causing the behavior, or some other family characteristic that isn't easily measured," Slade says.

SOURCES: Lansford, J. Child Development, November/December 2005; vol 76: pp 1234-1246. Jennifer Lansford, PhD, research scientist, Center for Child and Family Policy, Duke University, Durham, N.C. — Eric P. Slade, PhD, associate professor of psychiatry, University of Maryland. WebMD Medical News: "Does Spanking Lead to Trouble Later?" http://www.webmd.com/content/article/86/99061.htm, WebMD Medical News: "The 'Bottom Line' on Spanking." http://www.webmd.com/content/article/48/39166.htm.

So this study shows that its possible that children raised in cultures where spanking is frowned upon tend to have more negative reactions as a result of spanking in the future, but in cultures that don't frown upon spanking tend to raise children with no adverse effects at all. Of course, as I said earlier, there is no way of knowing if these behavioral problems are linked to spanking exclusively or other aspects of family situations. (Which I think is the bigger link to violence, then just being spanked).

 

That could easily be viewed a typical dysfunctional family, with a bit of physical violence tossed in.

She probably shouldn't have started in the first place.

 

LOL, yeah, by you and asguard

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People do what they know. Hopefully when they know better, they do better. I don't hit my kids, but there are days they are lucky we don't have a gun in the house.

 

So spanking is only bad if you think it's bad. I don't, so no problem. Also, I'm Hispanic! So I've got double protection!

So all these studies rely upon people filling out surveys about whether they were spanked and then filling out surveys about what emotional problems they have, or if they've raped anyone. With no way to verify any of it.

These studies are as worthless as internet surveys! Is an adult really supposed to remember being spanked as a toddler? I sure as hell don't. And who do you think is most likely to actually remember being spanked? I'll tell you who, the person whose parents beat the shit out of them.

Also, it's more likely a person will remember being spanked at an older age, when spanking is less appropriate and less effective.

So, in a study that consists solely of adults filling out surveys about stuff that happened when they were children, those who were abused are the most likely to remember being spanked; and they are the most likely to suffer ill effects from their "spanking". What a surprise that such studies show little benefit to spanking.

 

Yep sounds like my family. Except for the physical violence part is just between me and my brother, cause he's a jerk-face. My mother used to tell me not to hit my brother, but after living with him for a few hours its hard not to. I mean at least I don't lock him in closets and rooms like she did, not that I blame her. He was terrible as a child. Both him and my dog, two of a kind, they used to bite each other. So funny.

 

They might not be subservient later in life, but for their developmental stage, they tend to be quiet. Perhaps it's just a personality thing.. ie, how much can you take..

 

you could use negative conditioning or something



but honestly, at 7+ when i was a right little bastard, a smack was the only language i understood