Suppose there were a heaven and you went there,

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Jeeves, Mar 27, 2017.

  1. Jeeves Valued Senior Member

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    (post-mortem, of course; no hurry)
    What job would you like to be assigned?

    I think I'll be a cloud-herder.
     
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  3. Randwolf Ignorance killed the cat Valued Senior Member

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    Well, if we go with the Islamic version - someone has to in charge of all those virgins...
     
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  5. Oystein Registered Senior Member

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    Be careful what you wish for . . . virgins can also be men.

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    Or this:

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  7. Xelasnave.1947 Valued Senior Member

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    Job????
    Its heaven who needs a job.
    Alex
     
  8. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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    Considering that GOD is actually female: I wanna be her dildo.
     
  9. Oystein Registered Senior Member

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    Now that is really repulsive. Your mother would wash your mouth out with soap if she heard you say that.

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    On the positive side, you probably just earned a first class ticket to HELL!!!!
     
  10. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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    OK
    OK
    If GOD is having an orgasm, does she say "OH GOD"?
     
  11. Randwolf Ignorance killed the cat Valued Senior Member

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    OK, now I have wine in my nose... *snort*
     
  12. Beer w/Straw Transcendental Ignorance! Valued Senior Member

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  13. Oystein Registered Senior Member

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    Why wait? You can do that here . . . .

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  14. Beer w/Straw Transcendental Ignorance! Valued Senior Member

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    Last edited: Mar 27, 2017
  15. cluelusshusbund + Public Dilemma + Valued Senior Member

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    @ Randwolf
    Ask some questons before you sign on the dotted line cause i thank Oystein may be on the right track.!!!
    Ive herd that the translation is wrong... an insted of each man goin to heaven gettin 72 virgins... he gets 1 virgin 72 years old

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  16. Oystein Registered Senior Member

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    I don't know. This beautiful woman is 79 . . . unfortunately not a virgin.

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  17. cluelusshusbund + Public Dilemma + Valued Senior Member

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    Good pont... an the virgin part woudnt be a issue for me... but i druther we both be under 40.!!!
     
  18. Jeeves Valued Senior Member

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    You people are just standing around the glacier-cooler, snickering like adolescents, while 17,000,000 new planets need life-seeding, 168,000,000 humans need a second chance to win back their daughter/mother/son/wife/dog's respect, 895,000,000,000 accidents need preventing; writers and artists of 772,000 species, in this galaxy alone, need to be nudged out of a block; a whole generation of baby cherubs need guidance and 9 people born on Earth in the last two minutes were assigned the wrong gender.
     
  19. cluelusshusbund + Public Dilemma + Valued Senior Member

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    I guess thers lots of such videos but i saw this one yesterday of one very happy little kid.!!!

     
  20. pluto2 Registered Senior Member

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    Based on the evidence that I have seen I can say beyond a doubt that:

    1. There is no afterlife, including a heaven or hell. I believe that once you're dead you're dead and that's it your body (and this includes your brain) stops functioning completely and irreversibly and later decomposes in the ground.

    2. There is no evidence for a God either.

    Too many bad things happen to people in this life and when people ask help from God he doesn't help them. This is called the disappointment argument. When asking for help from God he doesn't answer or offer any help which probably means that God probably is not real or physical.

    Also look at how there is no scientific evidence. Man has studied the universe scientifically for at least 2000 years and look at how mankind found no scientific evidence for God. This alone speaks volumes because if there was a God science would have found some evidence for his actual existence but guess what: there isn't any.
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2017
  21. spidergoat Liddle' Dick Tater Valued Senior Member

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    I would like to be assigned a hand job from Mother Theresa.
     
  22. karenmansker HSIRI Banned

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    . . . .beyond a doubt - for YOU - perhaps not so for others, IMO
    . . . .there is no afterlife . . . . . perhaps . . . . perhaps untrue for others, IMO
    . . . . no scientific evidence . . . . perhaps . . . . . perhaps science is not the preferred path to enlightenment, IMO
    Query: What can science tell us about non-physical phenomena?
     
  23. cluelusshusbund + Public Dilemma + Valued Senior Member

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    Well... if it cant be measured or tested i treet it as speculation or superstition/insanity.!!!
     

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