dear friends, i had this 'personal essay' - a memoir- written by Danny Kaye, famous Hollywood entertainer of his time. He says about his father that he was 'the happiest man' he ever knew.Please go through it. THE HAPPIEST MAN Jacob kominiski never achieved fame and never accumulated wealth. He was a simple tailor,and pleased to be one.He walked the streets of our Brooklyn neighbourhood with great dignity ,but always with a glint of laughter in his eye .He was my father,and most successful human being I ever knew. As a child I didn't fully understand his worth.When I saw how hard he worked for so little material award I felt sorry for him and a little ashamed at his lack of ambition.I was wrong on both counts. He worked for a Seventh Avenue dress manufacturer and one summer evening he brought home an enormous sketch pad,a handful of soft pencils,and some wool and silk and cotton swatches.He announced that the boss was giving him a chance to become a dress designer,something he had long hoped for. Night after night he worked until midnight or later.A slight man with thin fair hair and shoulders rounded by his trade,he stood by the kitchen table,bending over the sketch pad to make qick,swirling lines while mother at near by,mending.She was a beautiful woman with long aburn hair piled high above a serene face. Supposedly asleep in the next room,my two brothers and I listened to the nightly routine : the sisbilance of pencil on paper for a long time,then pop calling mother,"Chaya,come look." Her dress rustled as she moved to stand beside him.Sometimes she made a suggestion for a change;usually she said,"I think it's just fine." And sometimes pop would draw an outstanding ornament so they could both laugh.Laughter was the part of everything he did. When at last the sketches were finished, he took them off to work.Nothing more was said about them.Eventually I asked him,"Pop, what happened to the drawings?" "Oh," he said,"They weren't any good.", seeing my dismay he said, "Danny, a man can't do everything in this world but he can do one job well.I found out I am not a good designer , but I am a good tailor." And there I found the key to the man, the key that let me understand better as I grew older.Jacob Kominiski never pretended to be something he wasn't.Free from vanity or unrealisable ambition he was able to enjoy each day as it came. The core of pop's happiness was his family. Amost any event served as an excuse for a reunion with all our uncles and aunts and cousins.Such laughter and jokes and sheer loving exuberence _ and all sparked by my mother and father.They were always the first couple on the floor to dance, and the first to start singing the old folk songs.While the rest of us clapped hands to the rhythm.Part of Pop's pleasure was showing off his wife , a shy sort of reverence.He thought no one in the world could match her .He once said of her," Where she walks there is light. " Every night at dinner he reported the ammusing things that happened in during the day.( We never herd of any defeats or frustrations. ) The most ordinary events were hilarious when pop told us about them. part 2 Pop enjoyed all men,but he reserved his friendship for a few-especially five cronies who had emigrated with him from Russia at the time of First World War. Once a month they gather in our kitchen for an evening of talk.All these men had achieved business success.Yet in many matters it was to Jacob Kominiski they turned for advice,knowing that he saw life clearly and his opinions could not be warped by envy. They came to our rather shabby neighbourhood in big cars,wearing expensive suits,and smoking cigars.I once asked my mother,"Why do they come here in stead of meeting in their own big houses?" She thought for a moment, and then said, "I think may be they left best part of themselves here.They need to come back to it every now and then." When I was 13 my mother died .Through my own grief I was aware of the great loss these was to Pop. But he made only one reference to almost insupportable sadness.He said,"To be happy everyday is to be not happy at all." He was saying to his sons that happiness is not state achieve and keep, but something that must be won over and over, no matter what the defeats and losses. In my early teens I ran away from home for the simple reason that i was bursting with curiosity about the world outside Brooklyn.I talked a pal of mine into going with me.Our thumbs got us lifts , we sang for food ,and at night we appeared at the local police station to announce we were hitchhiking to relatives and asked to be put in a cell until morning.It worked well until we reached a small town in Delaware. The chief of Police said,"You kids look like a couple of runaways.You say you are from Brooklyn? I shall just telephone and see if there 'wanted' on you." He found that there was indeed a missing person alarm for me. He soon had my father on the phone.After hearing Iwas alright,Pop seemed to relax."you want me to send him home?",the chief asked."Oh, no",father said." He wants to find out something.He will come home when he is ready." I was on the road for two weeks,and when I finally walked down the familier street towards our house I began to get apprehensive.I was affraid i had hurt Pop by running away.How could I find the right words to explain to him why I went? As it turned out,it was Pop who found the right words.When i came through the front door he looked up from his news paper, and a wonderfully warm and relieved smile went over his face.Then he gave me a wink and said," There's food in the ice box, Danny." The words he had always greeted me with when i came home from school or play.So nothing had changed between us.He understood me, and my searching and longings, so unlike his own or my brothers. part 3 His patience with me during my late teens was infinite.Both my brothers had jobs and were hardworking,responsisble citizens, but I was moody and restless and could not settled down.I wanted to express myself, but I didn't know how.Pop supporeted me uncomplainingly; once aweek i found a five-dollar note tucked beneath my pillow,to save me the embarrassment of openly recieving pocket money. My shortcomings did not escape the notice of Pop's cronies. Everytime they gathered in our kitchen they would ask,"Danny got a job yet?" Pop would shake his head and change the subject. One evening I heard a voice say," Jacob,I speak to you as a friend must speak.Danny is becoming a loafer.You should not allow this to happen." Pop said," My son is searching for something he can devote his life to.I can't tell him what it is.He shall never be happy unless he finds it for himself.It may take him longer than others, but he shall find it. I do not worry about him." Later that year I got a job as an entertainer , and suddenly I knew this was the career I had been searching for. The world of the theatre was far removed from the world of Jacob Komoniski, the tailor, yet i found myself returning to him time and again, for the same reason his cronies did. When i was 20, I got what every actor dreams of a permanent job ! The A.B.Marcus show, 'La Vie Paree', was an extravaganza that had been touring the world for a quarter of century, and i joined the cast. We played the orient for a couple of years and then returned to the states for a series of one night stands when we reached the New York area, I went home to see Pop. I had a problem, and I put him.This was at the depth of Depression { of 1929 which resulted from the collapse of U S stock market } , actors were out of work by the hundreds, yet I wanted to leave the show because I neede new experiences and challenges.But also I was scared. Pop heard me out ,then said, " It's very to have a steady job.You shouldn't be ashamed of liking it.But there are some people who always have to test themselves,to stretch their wings and try new winds.If you think you can find more happiness and usefullness this way, then you should do it." This advice came from a man who had never left a secured job in his life , who had the Europian tradition of family confirmity and responsibility,but who knew I was different.He understood what I needed to do and he helped me to do it. For the next few years I worked in nightclubs, and then i got my big theatrical break, appearing in 'Lady In The Dark' with Gertrude Lawrence. After that I went to Hollywood , but even the glamour of movie capital did not awe Pop . For some of the time between his retirement and his death at the age of 80 Pop lived with me and my family there.We had a big party one evening, and soon there was a crowd round him listening to his stories about Brooklyn and his Ukranian Legends. That i thougt Pop might enjoy hearing some of the old folk songs we used to sing, the music and the memories were too much for himto resist, and he came over to join me.I faded away,and he was in the middle of the room singing alone _ in a clear,true voice.He sang for 15 minutes before some of the World's highest-paid entertainers.When he finished there was a thunderous applause . This simple,kindly old man singing of our Europian roots had touched something deep in these sophisticated people.I remember what my mother had said about; Pop's rich cronies: " i think may be they left best part of themselves here.They nedd to come back to it every now and then." I knew the applause that night was not just for a performance ; it was for a MAN. - Danny Kaye. Do u believe that contentment is the key to happiness? How will u define "Mr. COOL" ? "na me karmafalam sprihaa" -geeta.
Happiness is a state of mind... Welcome Kiran...looks like your final exam is over and now have some time to kill???
Happiest man Thank you kiran. That was an excellent post. I have never heard of Danny Kaye, but I really enjoyed the essay. It seems that many people assign importance to so many material things. My god, if everyone understood how fleeting life is.......80 years just might as well be 80 seconds. Anyway, I thank you.
That article almost made me puke. Seriously, it just sickened me. That guy is such a looser. What about those saying like---if at first you dont suceed try try again, or that other one that our boundaries are limited to our own imagination. I can be good at anything I want even if I dont have a natural nook at it. I've proved it time and again. EG The language arts crap. I never really did good at it. I guess because I didnt like it and basically didnt do any homework. But last year I BSed my way through, by 'expressing feelings' crap and writing stories that didnt interest me. I really dont mind though. I just have to step over those little obstacles in order to get what I want to get. You know what I take back my comment on that guy being a looser, because contentment is all in your mind. The simplest things please me, ofcoarse like they do to so many, but I cant say I agree with that guy any further. I dont draw limits for myself, and I erase the ones that are already drawn. That's what makes me happy, knowing I have the attitude and determination to accomplish anything at all that I want to. I never back down from a challenge or obstacle. I guess contentness is in the eye of the beholder. Well what do you guys think? Am I right or what? I want to hear your opinions after you've all been enlightened.
All we do comes to not. Everything we create fades into nothing. Everything we build will fall. My desires will never be extinguished, and I will never find the end of my discontentment. I will die wanting more. Maybe I should take satisfaction in knowing that, I have experience life.
Exactly, everyone will die wanting more. Thats just the way the world is. Its impossible to be content, all the time. Theres a saying, A person who is at their best all the time is only a mediocre person. We in North America are filthy rich but people still complain. You may have more experience than a 15 year old but i have a third eye.
I think that, with nothing being considered, a cup of misery might also be, a glass of wine. <i>"We in North America are filthy rich but people still complain."</i> Yes, even our homeless have it better than others abroad.
Recently saw in Jay leno headlines: A homeless person complained to the police that someone had stolen his cell phone ....
<i>"A homeless person complained to the police that someone had stolen his cell phone ...."</i> And in Afghanistan the homeless are not allowed to have cell phones. See what I mean? Terrible...just terrible. Elbaz, Could it be that we Americans are good at survival?
Ya right. Americans are some of the fattest laziest people ever to walk the face of the earth. I cant say anything different for Canadians though. Ever wonder how baseball got invented?
-Baseball was a sport invented for fat and lazy people......there is very little running involved and you dont even have to real legs to play eg first base, pitcher.
Sure! This IS Free Thoughts. I liken it to a head-bangers dance. intelligence is not a prerquisite for indulgence in babble. Please, join us.
Firstly... I'd like to join my comrades in welcoming Kiran to Sciforums.... what an excellent post! Jacob Kominiski was a special kind of guy... someone that can look around himself and realise that he's lucky to have what he's got. Bowser, your first post was almost poetic... it's so often that we want more, and are not thankful of what we've got.
<i>"it's so often that we want more, and are not thankful of what we've got."</i> Some people walk through life without living. Savor each moment?
"Have you ever thought that this is as good as it gets?" Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! - errr.... thanks Jack
HAPPINESS AND SATISFACTION thanx biggles,kmguru and other members. where's wet1>> Jacob was happiest man. He enjoyed his life with what he had. But question arises that there will be no groath if u are happy with what you havePlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Here i have what answer Mr. Shiv Khera has given while chatting on Indiatimes chat. kg2> there will be no growth if you are happy with what you get? agree /refute : SPEAKER_Shiv Khera> kg2> I don't agree. Unhappiness and dissatisfaction are two different things. One can be happy and yet be dissatisfied with the present position and strive for growth. kg2> You have mentioned in your book that "--Success is getting what you want and happiness is wanting what you get.--" If you are happy with what you get, how would one grow? SPEAKER_Shiv Khera> kg2> Have you heard of Mark Spitcz won the 7 gold medals at the Olympics in 72. The press came and said must be your lucky day. Spitz replied that he was in Mexico in 1968 he won 3 gold medals he was happy but dissatisfied from Mexico to Munich he trained 10000 hours and he said if you are good at Maths it transalates into 2500 hours per year which transalates to 7.5 hours per day. No Sunday and he said if you sit in the water for seven and a half hours every day for the next four years your ....body will shrival. ."What the point is - He was happy but was dissatisfied" I agree with Shiv Khera's answer coz I think "Journy is the reward." And the efforts we put are also part of our success.Though one gets setback he can gain happiness while retrying or trying another of interests.Jacob enjoyed (with his peculiar nature) while he was drawing with his wife.He was free from Anxieties.
That sounded like my dad with more words Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Dying wanting more? That´s a testament for never living for real. Excisting is having everything. Every moment is complete. And the message is, if you don´t like what you´re doing, do something else or do it differently. Have fun Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! North americans aren´t mediocre because they complain?
Welcome kiran, The story of Danny Kayes' father was a rich one indeed. It is not everyone who is so blessed. In fact, most spend their life searching for what was already found in the story. Very touching, very human. If you are happy there is no need to grow in that direction. It is only when unhappiness is there that the "I" becomes aware that something is missing. Most people either continue to look and never find because they are not willing to commit totally to the seeking of that goal or they return to the "I am not happy" that was reflected in the cronies, who had made financial success but not true emotional success. Both can very easily and often do lead to bitterness for one's station in life and one's emotional well being. Now, some here will say that there is no growing from such an attitude. I think the growing was complete and no more need be sought. For true happiness is priceless, sought by all and found by few. Is it because those who seek can not accept that the answer is so simple? Or is it that they expect to much? I would say congradulations on an excellent post.
