The State of the Union Address Drinking Game

Discussion in 'Politics' started by hypewaders, Jan 20, 2004.

  1. hypewaders Save Changes Registered Senior Member

    Drink responsibly: Alcohol relieves national shame.

    From Will Durst, AlterNet

    What you need:

    A group of four taxpayers: including one white guy wearing a suit, two wearing normal clothes and one in semi-shabby clothes.

    A shotglass per person (all bought in a second-hand store)

    100 tiny toothpicks with American flags wrapped around them.

    A slab of soft French cheese, i.e. brie.

    A large stash of beer. The one in the ragged clothing gets the cheapest crap you can find, like Milwaukee's Best; the white guy in the suit gets to drink whatever import he wants; and the other two pick between Bud and Miller Lite.

    Rules of the Game:

    Whenever George W. mentions the liberation of the freedom-loving Iraqi people, the last person to grab his throat in a choking motion has to drink four shots of beer.

    Whenever George W. uses the words: "God," "America" or "jobs," drink a shot of beer.

    Whenever George W. mispronounces the word "terrorism" the last person to knock on wood drinks two shots of beer.

    Whenever George W. mentions the phrase "sanctity of marriage," take a shot of beer. The first time this happens, the last person to finish has to drink two more shots of beer and do the dishes during the Democratic Response.

    Whenever the speech is interrupted by applause, the last person to stick one of the American flag toothpicks into the soft French cheese from a distance of two feet drinks two shots of beer. The white guy in the suit gets an extra chance each round.

    Whenever George W. smirks during a standing ovation, take turns drinking shots of beer until the audience sits down. Do it double-time if his shoulders shake with silent laughter.

    If Vice President Dick Cheney or First Lady Laura Bush are caught on camera not paying attention and talking to somebody else while Puppet-Boy is still speaking, drink a whole beer.

    If George W. Bush mentions Halliburton, his inability to find the weapons of mass destruction or Osama bin Laden, the white guy in the suit has to drink a shot of everybody else's beer out of their shotglass, and they get to wipe their glass clean on his jacket.

    If George W. Bush attempts to make a joke, anybody who laughs drinks three shots of beer.

    Whenever George W. Bush quotes the Bible or uses the word "evildoers" in a sentence, the last person to fall to their knees drinks two shots of beer. If he pulls a quote from the Bible about "evildoers," the last person to get prostrate drinks an entire beer.


    The white guy in the suit gets to kick the person wearing the shabby clothes if George W. uses a heartfelt story of an individual's grace and/or courage under pressure to illustrate a point. He gets 15 seconds to kick everybody if that person is in the audience sitting next to an astronaut.

    Everybody gets to kick the crap out of the guy in the suit for 15 seconds, only if Bush's teleprompter goes out and he begins to flail about mumbling nonsense about his days with the Texas Rangers.
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  3. hypewaders Save Changes Registered Senior Member

    If you find yourself in need of sobering figures,
    these are from The Independent:

    George W Bush and the Real State of the Union
    Today the President gives his annual address. As the election battle begins, how does his first term add up?

    232: Number of American combat deaths in Iraq between May 2003 and January 2004
    501: Number of American servicemen to die in Iraq from the beginning of the war - so far
    0: Number of American combat deaths in Germany after the Nazi surrender to the Allies in May 1945
    0: Number of coffins of dead soldiers returning home from Iraq that the Bush administration has allowed to be photographed
    0: Number of funerals or memorials that President Bush has attended for soldiers killed in Iraq
    100: Number of fund-raisers attended by Bush or Vice-President Dick Cheney in 2003
    13: Number of meetings between Bush and Tony Blair since he became President
    10 million: Estimated number of people worldwide who took to the streets in opposition to the invasion of Iraq, setting an all-time record for simultaneous protest
    2: Number of nations that Bush has attacked and taken over since coming into the White House
    9.2: Average number of American soldiers wounded in Iraq each day since the invasion in March last year
    1.6: Average number of American soldiers killed in Iraq per day since hostilities began
    16,000: Approximate number of Iraqis killed since the start of war
    10,000: Approximate number of Iraqi civilians killed since the beginning of the conflict
    $100 billion: Estimated cost of the war in Iraq to American citizens by the end of 2003
    $13 billion: Amount other countries have committed towards rebuilding Iraq (much of it in loans) as of 24 October
    36%: Increase in the number of desertions from the US army since 1999
    92%: Percentage of Iraq's urban areas that had access to drinkable water a year ago
    60%: Percentage of Iraq's urban areas that have access to drinkable water today
    32%: Percentage of the bombs dropped on Iraq this year that were not precision-guided
    1983: The year in which Donald Rumsfeld gave Saddam Hussein a pair of golden spurs
    45%: Percentage of Americans who believed in early March 2003 that Saddam Hussein was involved in the 11 September attacks on the US
    $127 billion: Amount of US budget surplus in the year that Bush became President in 2001
    $374 billion: Amount of US budget deficit in the fiscal year for 2003
    1st: This year's deficit is on course to be the biggest in United States history
    $1.58 billion: Average amount by which the US national debt increases each day
    $23,920: Amount of each US citizen's share of the national debt as of 19 January 2004
    1st: The record for the most bankruptcies filed in a single year (1.57 million) was set in 2002
    10: Number of solo press conferences that Bush has held since beginning his term. His father had managed 61 at this point in his administration, and Bill Clinton 33
    1st: Rank of the US worldwide in terms of greenhouse gas emissions per capita
    $113 million: Total sum raised by the Bush-Cheney 2000 campaign, setting a record in American electoral history
    $130 million: Amount raised for Bush's re-election campaign so far
    $200m: Amount that the Bush-Cheney campaign is expected to raise in 2004
    $40m: Amount that Howard Dean, the top fund-raiser among the nine Democratic presidential hopefuls, amassed in 2003
    28: Number of days holiday that Bush took last August, the second longest holiday of any president in US history (Record holder: Richard Nixon)
    13: Number of vacation days the average American worker receives each year
    3: Number of children convicted of capital offences executed in the US in 2002. America is only country openly to acknowledge executing children
    1st: As Governor of Texas, George Bush executed more prisoners (152) than any governor in modern US history
    2.4 million: Number of Americans who have lost their jobs during the three years of the Bush administration
    221,000: Number of jobs per month created since Bush's tax cuts took effect. He promised the measure would add 306,000
    1,000: Number of new jobs created in the entire country in December. Analysts had expected a gain of 130,000
    1st: This administration is on its way to becoming the first since 1929 (Herbert Hoover) to preside over an overall loss of jobs during its complete term in office
    9 million: Number of US workers unemployed in September 2003
    80%: Percentage of the Iraqi workforce now unemployed
    55%: Percentage of the Iraqi workforce unemployed before the war
    43.6 million: Number of Americans without health insurance in 2002
    130: Number of countries (out of total of 191 recognized by the United Nations) with an American military presence
    40%: Percentage of the world's military spending for which the US is responsible
    $10.9 million: Average wealth of the members of Bush's original 16-person cabinet
    88%: Percentage of American citizens who will save less than $100 on their 2006 federal taxes as a result of 2003 cut in capital gains and dividends taxes
    $42,000: Average savings members of Bush's cabinet are expected to enjoy this year as a result in the cuts in capital gains and dividends taxes
    $42,228: Median household income in the US in 2001
    $116,000: Amount Vice-President Cheney is expected to save each year in taxes
    44%: Percentage of Americans who believe the President's economic growth plan will mostly benefit the wealthy
    700: Number of people from around the world the US has incarcerated in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba
    1st: George W Bush became the first American president to ignore the Geneva Conventions by refusing to allow inspectors access to US-held prisoners of war
    +6%: Percentage change since 2001 in the number of US families in poverty
    1951: Last year in which a quarterly rise in US military spending was greater than the one the previous spring
    54%: Percentage of US citizens who believe Bush was legitimately elected to his post
    1st: First president to execute a federal prisoner in the past 40 years. Executions are typically ordered by separate states and not at federal level
    9: Number of members of Bush's defense policy board who also sit on the corporate board of, or advise, at least one defense contractor
    35: Number of countries to which US has suspended military assistance after they failed to sign agreements giving Americans immunity from prosecution before the International Criminal Court
    $300 million: Amount cut from the federal program that provides subsidies to poor families so they can heat their homes
    $1 billion: Amount of new US military aid promised Israel in April 2003 to offset the "burdens" of the US war on Iraq
    58 million: Number of acres of public lands Bush has opened to road building, logging and drilling
    200: Number of public-health and environmental laws Bush has attempted to downgrade or weaken
    29,000: Number of American troops - which is close to the total of a whole army division - to have either been killed, wounded, injured or become so ill as to require evacuation from Iraq, according to the Pentagon
    90%: Percentage of American citizens who said they approved of the way George Bush was handling his job as president when asked on 26 September, 2001
    53%: Percentage of American citizens who approved of the way Bush was handling his job as president when asked on 16 January, 2004
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  5. Undecided Banned Banned

    And chances are that he will be elected president again, well if he was elected in the first place...

    I take issue with this:

    $374 billion: Amount of US budget deficit in the fiscal year for 2003

    Err... wrong, the budget deficit for 2003 was $550 billion.
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  7. hypewaders Save Changes Registered Senior Member

    $374 billion is apparently the US Treasury figure through September- is the difference war spending or -?
  8. Undecided Banned Banned

    The infamous twin deficits—its huge and growing budget and current-account shortfalls—are a reflection of this. With the current-account deficit running at an annual rate of some $550 billion or thereabouts, America now needs to borrow more than $1.5 billion a day from foreigners to finance its spending habits and keep the dollar at its present level.

    Buttonwood column economist.

    Sorry if you aren't looking at the current account deficit, you are correct. But still consider $550 billion in a account deficit.
  9. Undecided Banned Banned


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