"Magician" - By Raymond E Feist - review of the linguistics found in a fantasy book!! "Enjoy a great read with abundant male characters and an odd princess." - Drizzt Drow Elf Fanboys Club "Join Legions of fanboys on the Castle Wall and enjoy the gay fantasies and grey weather conditions to be found in this book. Mind the hot oil." - some tosser. "Explore two other planets with Pug and Thomas" - A Sap. -(spoiler)- "Magician" - by Raymond E Feist. Plot Summary. The story begins depicting this kid named Pug who is collecting cockles by the seashore. He falls asleep, gets wet feet and loses his bag of shells. Pug who is also a Peasant at the local Castle is in big trouble and has to get home fast. But as he is running through the forest he is gored by a Wild Boar and nearly drowns for a second time from bad weather. It should have ended there but Pug is saved by Martin, a Bear of a Man with a Bow that Shoots the Boar and takes Pug to see a kindly Wizard named Kulgan what has a hut in the forest. Kulgan has a little dragon and takes a shine to the boy when Pug affectionately snuggles up to his pet. After the storm Martin returns him to Castle Crydee where Pug is reunited with his friend Tomas, a boy who later becomes a Dragon Riding Godhead but is just another Peasant for now. Pretty soon it's Bananapis 'a mid summer festival' when boys are chosen to enter their apprenticeships; Pug is chosen by Kulgan. And Tomas becomes a Guard. Pug is then sent out riding with the Princess who is set upon by two trolls who try to couple with it. Pug casts a spell saving her and isn't he a Hero? Some time is spent passing wind with the two boys working it under their new masters but a cool breeze blows in and the boys discover something on the beach: It's a lone surviving wounded sailor with Magic Armour that has properties and that also has the misfortune of washing up on an English Beach. So Pug and Tomas tell the locals and the wounded sailor is immediately labelled an invader and his ship is descended upon by a pack of Gay English Salvage Artists seeking to strip it of All Eternal Nik-Naks before it sinks. The sailor dies but the locals who are a pack of Wolves quickly decide there could be more of the fuckers coming. It's mostly down hill from the beach as the story progresses but you can be sure there's plenty of asd ans hot oil. Favorate quotes - page 50. ''Kulgan hiked his long green robe and stepped into the room, leaving the door open.' 'Kulgan dismisses his worries, saying that it wood, all sort itself, in out time.' 'He put a taper to the coals still smouldering in Pug's fire pot and lit his pipe.' "There is something else inside that boys head, something I've never met before, something powerful." 'Kulgan bolted upright from his seat. He began puffing furiously on his pipe.' 'Pug pulled over the stool and sat down, facing the magician. Kulgan took out his pipe and started puffing on it furiously.' 'Quickly his first oppponent was replaced by one of the larger stable boys, who squatted on Pug's chest and started raining blows upon him. Pug tried to squirm out from under the larger boy, causing many of his blows to slip by, striking dirt instead of Pug's face. Enough of them were hitting the mark , however, so that Pug soon began to feel a queer detachment from the whole procedure.' 'Holding the wobbly boy steady, Arutha said, "I admire your courage, youngster, but we can't have the wits beaten out of the Duchy's finest young magician, can we?"' 'Roland gave him a wide grin and Pug wished himself dead. Pug and Tomas walked out of the kitchen, dinner plates in hand. It was a warm night, and they preferred the cooling ocean breeze to the heat of the scullery.
