What will YOU do when the zombies come?

Discussion in 'UFOs, Ghosts and Monsters' started by GeoffP, Jun 24, 2007.

?

Do you have a "zombie plan", and are you male or female?

  1. I am FEMALE, and I HAVE NO "zombie plan".

    1 vote(s)
    3.2%
  2. I am FEMALE, and I HAVE a "zombie plan".

    3 vote(s)
    9.7%
  3. I am MALE, and I HAVE NO "zombie plan".

    6 vote(s)
    19.4%
  4. I am MALE, and I HAVE a "zombie plan".

    21 vote(s)
    67.7%
  1. GeoffP Caput gerat lupinum Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    22,087
    I think we're just considering the proper, or undead variety. I don't know how "scientific" they are.

    I also noticed that neither of the fe-males have placed their comments on the poll yet. Your input is paramount to prove my case that women don't bother worrying about zombies and thereby attain my federal funding money...uh, I mean, for the purposes of science.
     
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  3. GeoffP Caput gerat lupinum Valued Senior Member

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    Ah! One has posted. Excellent. My chi-square stat is looking stronger as we speak.
     
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  5. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    72,825
    You made no allowances for gay transgender she-males

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  7. Bells Staff Member

    Messages:
    24,270
    If it's from my children's nappies?

    Yes.:fart:

    I am also planning on using the slick on weekends when the Jehovah's come a knockin'.

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  8. Oli Heute der Enteteich... Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    11,888
    I haven't bothered with a plan.
    Since zombies are portrayed as drooling unthinking one-track-mind idiots how would I distinguish them from the people I encounter everyday?
    Pfft.
    The only time ever that zombies bothered me was when my hamster turned into one; and he wasn't interested in eating my brain, just extra cucumber and fried egg.
     
  9. GeoffP Caput gerat lupinum Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    22,087
    This is true. I just assume they're too busy watching "The View", however. First to get devoured.
     
  10. domesticated om Stickler for details Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,277
    If zombies exist based on religious truth, then there are no rules or limits to what kind of stuff I'm capable of doing .........in which case, I'll learn to cast magical spells (turn undead; invisibility to undead, control undead, unhex, reverse ju-ju, etc) or obtain holy relics that provide similar powers.
     
  11. ashpwner Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,665
    plan is to gether some survivers and lock myself inot a supermarket, wait till they starve to death then loot!
     
  12. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    25,817
    Didn't Jesus raise someone from the dead? Was that guy a zombie? Was Jesus himself a zombie since he too arose from the dead?
    Christianity is no more than a zombie cult wanting our brains??
     
  13. ashpwner Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,665
    well i spoe jesus was a zombie i mena he did go round eating brains did he not?
     
  14. lucifers angel same shit, differant day!! Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    7,590
    i plan to, lock me and my kids and husband in a shop and then wait for the whole thing to blow over, i gathered if we dont make to much noise perhaps they wont know we're there.

    either that or i would get a lawn mower and mow them all down, (oh hang on thats dead Rising)
     
  15. EmptyForceOfChi Banned Banned

    Messages:
    10,848
    zombies are not worthy enemies. they are slow and stupid. it would be very easy to kill them all without even using guns. give me some good men and a hand forged decent sword.

    obviously going to a military base and borrowing a few tanks couldent harm anybody. (except the zombies).


    peace.
     
  16. ashpwner Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,665
    i would have cup of tea and just waite for the whole thing to blow over. good old tea
     
  17. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    25,817
    I just have to run faster than all of you. And I'm gonna trip Sandy.
    LOL
     
  18. ashpwner Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,665
    i would use this as an excuse to bite people!
     
  19. TruthSeeker Fancy Virtual Reality Monkey Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    15,162
    Too expensive, though....
     
  20. domesticated om Stickler for details Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,277
    If there is a "dawn of the dead" or "night of the living dead" styled invasion of zombies, then who's going to make me pay for anything?
     
  21. lucifers angel same shit, differant day!! Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    7,590
    why do we believe that zombies are slow and stupid? just because the film makers say they are?
     
  22. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    25,817
    LMAO. Ummm, why do we believe zombies would exist? because film makers say they do??
     
  23. lucifers angel same shit, differant day!! Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
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    One belief unique to voodoo is the zombie. The creole word “zombi” is apparently derived from Nzambi, a West African deity but it only came into general use in 1929, after the publication of William B. Seabrook's The Magic Island. In this book, Seabrook recounts his experiences on Haiti, including the walking dead. He describes the first 'zombie' he came across in this way:

    "The eyes were the worst. It was not my imagination. They were in truth like the eyes of a dead man, not blind, but staring, unfocused, unseeing. The whole face, for that matter, was bad enough. It was vacant, as if there was nothing behind it. It seemed not only expressionless, but incapable of expression."

    Haitian zombies were once normal people, but underwent zombification by a "bokor" or voodoo sorcerer, through spell or potion. The victim then dies and becomes a mindless automaton, incapable of remembering the past, unable to recognise loved ones and doomed to a life of miserable toil under the will of the zombie master.

    There have been some rare occasions of juju zombies temporarily regaining part of their mental faculties. This rare occurrence has only been observed when a zombie encounters situations that have heavy emotional connections to their mortal lives.

    There are many examples of zombies in modern day Haiti. Papa Doc Duvallier the dictator of Haiti from 1957 to 1971 had a private army of thugs called tonton macoutes. These people were said to be in trances and they followed every command that Duvallier gave them. Duvallier had also his own voodoo church with many followers and he promised to return after his death to rule again. He did not come back but a guard was placed at his tomb, to insure that he would not try to escape, or that nobody steal the body. There are also many stories of people that die, then many years later return to the shock and surprise of relatives. A man named Caesar returned 18 years after he died to marry, have three children and die again, 30 years after he was originally buried. Another case involved a student from a village Port-au-Prince who had been shot in a robbery attempt. Six months later, the student returned to his parent’s house as a zombie. At first it was possible to talk with the man, and he related the story of his murder, a voodoo witch doctor stealing his body from the ambulance before he reached hospital and his transformation into a zombie. As time went on, he became unable to communicate, he grew more and more lethargic and died.

    A case reported a writer named Stephen Bonsal described a zombie he witnessed in 1912 in this way: a man had at intervals a high fever, he joined a foreign mission church and the head of the mission saw the him die. He assisted at the funeral and saw the dead man buried. Some days later the supposedly dead man was found dressed in grave clothes, tied to a tree, moaning. The poor wretch soon recovered his voice but not his mind. He was indentifed by his wife, by the physician who had pronounced him dead, and by the clergyman. The victim did not recognized anybody, and spent his days moaning inarticulate words.

    http://zombies.monstrous.com/voodoo_zombies.htm

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