Why is it that a promiscuis woman is considered slutty while a guy who is able to snag any woman he wants is considered a stud? Here is my theory: If a mildly attractive woman goes up to a guy in a bar and asks him if he wants to makeout, I would argue that 9 times out of 10 the guy will say SURE! However, if the roles are reversed and it is the guy asking the girl to makeout, 9 times out of 10 the girl will say You've got to be kidding, get lost creep! Therefore, the woman is the one making the decision in physical situations in the vast majority of the time. Soooo if a guy can make any woman decide that she does want to makeout with him or whatever, then that is an impressive talent. If a girl can make any guy decide that he wants to makeout or whatever with her then no big deal, because most guys probably wanted to do it anyway. What do you all think? Can anyone say what I'm trying to say a better way? Does anyone agree or disagree with me? I'd be stoked to hear it from someone of merit who isn't just a parrit. (I know I spelled parrot wrong but it looks more like it rhymes with "it" that way.)
Well, you just answered your own question, didn't you? Since in mammals it's the female who has to carry the babies and give birth, and in many species (including, regrettably and more frequently, our own) raise them without a lot of help, she feels a rational obligation to pick the best father. That includes obviously strength, health, intelligence, attractiveness -- traits, which, if inherited by the babies, will give them a better chance of survival and success. But also, picking a father who might actually stick around and help raise the babies. Our species is designed to need two parents, since our babies are born much "younger" than other mammals (because of the problem of their huge brains getting through the birth canal), motherhood is damn hard work. Whether it's a Mesolithic clan in which the women have to gather nuts and berries while the men hunt mammoths, a Neolithic agricultural community in which everybody has to milk the cows and plant the crops, or an industrial city in which a woman without a husband has no source of money except charity and welfare... having a father around is an advantage for the babies. Homo sapiens females are pre-programmed with the synapses to know that and call it common sense. Sure times have changed and it's now possible to be a successful single mother. But our DNA hasn't had enough millennia to adapt to that and we've all still got the instincts of our more apelike ancestors. Which segues naturally into a discussion of the male of the species. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! For us, success is a matter of making sure our genes are passed down through the generations. The more females we can couple with, the more likely we are to be the founders of the next dynasty. It's that simple. Sure times have changed and it's now not so easy to coast through life leaving fatherless children in our wake. But our DNA hasn't... well you can read the last sentence in the previous paragraph. To put it in more concise and contemporary terms, it's a Venus/Mars thing. Interestingly enough, not all mammals have the same deal. Dogs have huge litters. If a female in heat mates with several different males, it's quite likely that each puppy can have a different father. Now male dogs don't exactly rear their young, but they do have the instinct to at least protect them from harm and see that they grow up, because they want to be the founders of the next dynasty too. So every male that coupled with a mother understands that one or more of the puppies in that litter can be his own genes. He has no idea which one, so to be safe he protects them all. You'll find that all the males in the pack are protective of all the puppies. None of them will hurt any of them and all of them will defend all of them if one guy breaks the rule and tries to hurt one. Sounds like an easy life, except that female dogs can be holy terrors. Sometimes they will try to kill each other's puppies. One of our bitches sneaked into another's kennel and killed two puppies one time, while we were stupidly keeping the males away, who it turns out would have stopped her. So I don't know who has it better. Female humans who can pick and choose their mates but get called nasty names if they pick too many? Or female canines who can mate with every male within five miles but do it out of instinct and don't look like they're having a particularly good time? Anyway, if you've ever wondered why "bitch" is such a traditional insult, it's because of that instinctive behavior, which is actually protective. Life is not fair to any species.
all that situation says to me is that more guys are sluts than not. answering the question is bigger than a message board discussion. it's an age old problem that can only be fleshed out by studying women's history. i have a bookshelf full of women's studies non-fiction (and some feminist fiction, i.e. nectar in a sieve) if you're interested. start with "whores and other feminists" by jill nagle.
A boyfriend in college once explained his take on this as "A girl goes around the guy. The guy goes into the girl. And a guy leaves something behind." The inference was that while guys make their deposit and withdraw, women keep the remnants of the guy long after the encounter. It's like using a teflon spoon for coffee, cheese dip, and Cheerios...something stays in the Cheerios which can't be removed easily, and you can always wash the spoon. Personally, I thought this was just icky. The younger of my two older brothers is 2 years older than me. When he was 21 and I was 19, I overheard my father tell him to screw as many girls as he could before he settled down, but to use protection so as not to get "trapped." In the middle of this peptalk, I walked into the room and waited for my father to share his pearls of sexual wisdom with me. He honestly said "And you....you stay a virgin until you get married." Six months too late, Dad, but thanks for the thought.
The answer is quite simple really.. and it stems from the power structure of gender: any woman, at any time, can, if she so desires, engage in sex. The same has never been true of men. The reasons behind this stem from the particularities of human evolution and the nature of our civilizations. With respect to reproduction, and sexual activity in particular, women have historically held the position of power; therefore the answer to your question is simply that men are jealous. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Do you really think that this is true for any woman? I've seen a LOT of women who I know I would never want to be intimate with. Sorry sister, but I'm not jealous that its easier for women to be slutty than it is for men. The funny thing is, is that its probably more difficult for an attractive young female NOT to be slutty than it would be TOO be slutty, where as it is the total opposite for a guy! Therefore, its as if our society respects the individual who lives the more difficult lifestyle! The guy who can get any girl he wants is a stud and a young attractive female virgin is respected and seeked after by a lot of men. What do you think? Another thing, I wish people would quit talking about evolution and civilizations for crying out loud. And if anyone replies to this and puts these last two sentences as a quote and tries to tell me how important it is to include these things, I will track them down and kill them!
LOL I'm no sister... Anyways, Yes.. undoubtedly.... ANY woman.. given the inclination.. could easily find a willing partner. And by the way... our gender relationship IS a direct result of evolution, and is modified, by our civilization. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Generally speaking, for there are always exceptions to the rule, men are preoccupied with sex, they can get a hard on just by thinking about it... and they like to think about it, a lot. Women, on the other hand, don't get turned on as easily as men, they need a gentle build-up, a bit of romance, I'm talking mainly about married women here and are judging by most of the couples that I've known in my 35+ years of adulthood. It is therefore presumed, that a guy who sleeps around is just doing what comes naturally, but the woman who does it obviously isn't. The woman who lets herself be taken by all and sundry is obviously a freak and deserves a special name and slut is as good as any. The truth of the matter of course, is that both, men and women, that like to put it about with different partners on a regular basis, are suffering from some serious emotional problems and are subconsciously searching for the love they were denied as children, or for that elusive feeling of love that they've never actually felt. Either that, or they just know how to have fun and everyone else is just jealous, coz, who knows the truth about anything anyway?
Huuumm... that actually sounds true. My situation is not much different then that. I've been quite rejected in my childhood. My family have always been caring for me, but society totally rejected me. Maybe that is part of my problem... :/ But anyways... I don't really think it is nice to call that kind of girl "slut". I mean... if we can do it, why can't they? Don't seem fair... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
The whole thing comes down to virginity: it's expected and prized in women, and looked down upon, or at least looked upon suspiciously, in men. Men and women are conversely valued depending upon how far away they are from being virginal -- a female virgin is a "good girl," a male virgin is a wuss. (All generalizations are wrong, including this one, but bear with me). The greater sexually experience a woman becomes the more trashy she's believed to be, while a man in the same position (no pun intended) is viewed as normal and often cool. However, do not lose hope. I've the solution, at least for women: get married, then get divorced. If you've been married, there is no longer the expectation that you're virginal. You're free to whore around all you want, and while there is still a level of social price to pay, it's no where near as high as a single female of the same age.
i find that virginity is suspect in women after a certain age as well. if you make it past your freshman year of college a virgin people are shocked and wonder if you're a mormon.
Its the modern equal world, even girls are expected not to be virgins after about 18, as true as the word slut is most girls i've met aply it to men aswel, since i dont think theres a bad word for men doing the same thing, its all pimps and studs and most men dont consider that bad. I always wondered why people(of both genders) feel compelled to be sluts, best thing i can come up with is that some people have higher sex drives than others and human instinct is to reproduce, perhaps because contraception prevents that the instinct doesnt get surpressed as they arnt reproducing?
..."You're free to whore around all you want..." Frisbinator, Well, I wouldn't advise this, but sorry to break it to you, it's a man's world buttercup. I didn't make this rule, but I am obliged to live by it. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Man hasn't evolved beyond a basic dominating hunting/gathering mentality. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
i just think it really funny that guys call girls sluts, and a minute later complain that they wanna get laid Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
btw, what do you consider a parrot? NM, a mimic, I see A truly virtuous male would reject any and all women, no matter of their appearance upon being asked this question. I see this in myself, and I know physical beauty is a subjective limitation of ours. This blinds us in seeing inside the heart, inside the mind. I have much greater gifts to give the world than an orgasm to a few women who are not comfortable with who they are. I'm over that stage in my life, and at 24, yes, 24 believe it or not. Frankly, I think it's a turn off if a woman comes on that strong at a bar. I don't really like the bar scene that much anyway. Perhaps I can revoke my youth and bring myself back to a place and time where intellect does not matter much, and physical pleasure is all I seek. I see this as primitive, immature. I'd rather spend my time writing, creating art. This will attract a much more evolved woman. This type of woman you can have much greater fun with, yet you need to experience this, I cannot show you. I can see that you have much to learn about life, and the nature of women. Even an unattractive man can convince gorgeous women to satisfy him in an evening. Given that they're in an altered state, and their intuition is not strong then its easy. You need true confidence, a knowledge of yourself that needs no validation from anyone. Most men have assumed, or pretend confidence. I used to have this, and it worked, but only one women that assumed confidence, but weren't really comfortable with themselves. I'd rather have meaningful lasting relationships based on more than sex. I'd rather be attracted to someone's heart, someone's soul. I'd rather develop this attraction to their soul before sex, so that when it happens, it occurs on a much deeper level. I hope you understand this one day, and learn to control those primal urges and use your inherent energy to create something which can be shared with many, and not something that is just a fleeting moment of sloppy drunken sex. I look back and you know what? I would have rather had a good night's sleep, read a book, etc... btw, the nature of your title of your post suggests arrogance, and this will always limit you in your understanding of women, and of all things. You place blame on others, whereas a virtuous man would take the responsibility on his own, and look to his own experiences. You have to look at it in a general societal aspect though, for if all your experiments are based on personal experience, who are you trying to prove or disprove? Only yourself, for how can you understand the nature of others?
You can see I have a lot to learn about life? Do you know me? Have you had dinner with me? Just because I posted a topic regarding why most of society calls women "sluts" if they sleep around and looks up to guys that do the same thing? You got a lot to learn about ASSUMING pal, and I would take your post apart bit by bit but I am going out of town this weekend and have to go pack right now. But stay tuned because I'll be BACK. -Trent
Yea...about this whole thing, i've been thinking about it too. It does make sense i guess, what you said when first. Also, it's not even about whether or not women are sexually active, but even if they are attractive. Hasn't anyone noticed this, like for example if a woman is really good looking, sometimes people automatically think "wow what a hot slut" or somehitng along the lines of that, because if she's good looking then she must get around a lot. Same thing goes for guys, but it's not so much of a negative thing. There is no way to translate that to a guy with the same connotation....if they're called a "player, pimp"..etc, then it's a good thing to them. I think it's kind of what each sex labels itself as also, because girls will put it on themselves by going around calling other girls "sluts or hos", and guys will go congratulating their buddies on a job well done after losing their virginity or sex. But i guess it will always be like that, because girls are raised to respect themselves and their virginity more than guys.
Well, stuff happens, I suppose. Isn't it kind of interesting, however, how some men are greatly depressed because they "can't get any" and some women are called sluts 'cause they "get too much"?
