Writing Effective Ads

Discussion in 'Business & Economics' started by TruthSeeker, Oct 21, 2007.

  1. TruthSeeker Fancy Virtual Reality Monkey Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    15,162
    Here's the ad that started my business:

    -------------------------------------------------------------​
    Small Business Accountant (Bookkeeper Rate!!)


    GET A FREE FIRST CONSULTATION WITH BASIC FINANCIAL ANALYSIS

    Tired of piles of disorganized receipts?
    Tired of making several calculations trying to figure out what is going on in your business?
    Would you like to have more time to manage your business?

    Let me take care of your finances!

    I will take all your confusing receipts, convert them into a clear picture of your business and help you manage it. I will help you with your business and actively work with you to help you achieve your goals.

    In a nutshell, my services include:
    * handling all paperwork
    * creating financial reports
    * mazimizing your tax savings
    * providing business advice
    * on call support
    * and much more


    Call now for more information and to book your FREE consultation with no obligation!

    My name
    (XXX) XXX-XXXX
    or e-mail me at the e-mail address above
    -------------------------------------------------------------​

    That ad got me 5 responses (actually, 6 just another day, over 3 weeks after I posted it!) and 2 leads.

    So I'm wondering... how could I improve it. Is there anything on it that would repel someone from answering the ad?
     
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  3. Reiku Banned Banned

    Messages:
    11,238
    TS,
    ever see this ad?

    >>>SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm>>>a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods,>>>riding in your car (whatever make or model, not fussy), hunting, camping>>>and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight>>>dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door>>>when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.>>>>>>Call 07898 342547 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting....>>>>>>Please scroll down . .>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the R.S.P.C.A. about an>>>8-week-old black Labrador retriever This has to be one of the best>>>singles ads ever printed.
     
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  5. Baron Max Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    23,053
    Much, much, much too long! Git to the point quickly ....the fewer the words the better. And mention "cheap" ....like, "I'm a cheap muthafucka, so use me!"

    Baron Max
     
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  7. TruthSeeker Fancy Virtual Reality Monkey Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    15,162
    That's great! Too bad I'm not writing a singles ad! LOL!!!!!

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  8. TruthSeeker Fancy Virtual Reality Monkey Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    15,162
    Btw, the CRA is impressed with my work...! YAY!

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  9. draqon Banned Banned

    Messages:
    35,006
    you forgot to mention your name in the ad...

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  10. TruthSeeker Fancy Virtual Reality Monkey Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    15,162
    I erased it when I posted it in sciforums, you idiot.

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  11. Nickelodeon Banned Banned

    Messages:
    10,581
    Make the font red.
     
  12. spuriousmonkey Banned Banned

    Messages:
    24,066
    and big.

    and use CAPS!
     
  13. spuriousmonkey Banned Banned

    Messages:
    24,066
    Here's the ad that started my business:

    -------------------------------------------------------------​
    Small Business Accountant


    GET A FREE FIRST CONSULTATION WITH BASIC FINANCIAL ANALYSIS

    Tired of piles of disorganized receipts?
    Tired of spending valuable time trying to figure out what is going on in your business?
    Would you like to have more time to actually manage your business?

    Let a professional take care of your finances!

    We will take all your confusing receipts (receipts are very clear - you don't want them to think you are an amateur), convert them into a clear picture of your business and help you manage it. We will help you with your business and actively work with you to help you achieve your goals.

    our services include:
    * affordable rates
    * handling all paperwork (also my divorce papers?)
    * creating financial reports
    * mazimizing your tax savings
    * providing business advice
    * on call support
    * and much more


    Call now for more information and to book your FREE consultation with no obligation!

    My name
    (XXX) XXX-XXXX
    or e-mail me at the e-mail address above
    -------------------------------------------------------------​
     
  14. TruthSeeker Fancy Virtual Reality Monkey Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    15,162
    Thank you, spuriousmonkey, that was really helpful.

    And no, I don't handle divorce papers at the moment. Sorry about that.
     

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