A little guidance would be nice


Registered Senior Member
Hey guys i have been idly reading all the posts in the philosophy forum for a couple of months now, and it have been fantastic i have opened up so much, my view on life has changed my opinions have developed, i think more clearly and logically. But... I seem to be growing distant, i am quite young and well i feel that i am growing away from my friends especially male friends. I look down upon their 'ignorance', i do know that this is the wrong attitude but its just how i feel. I have discarded my religion as illogical, which has been greeted by people in my life as an immature act done out of a search for attention. My knowledge that this is definitely not true just reinforces my arrogance. What sort of person am i that has grown to have no respect for my parents and dwindling patience for those who perhaps don’t feel the need to explore??? i was hoping for some guidance from some people in this forum has anyone else gone through anything like this???

It's kinda scarey... :confused:
There are different churches you can subscribe too:


church of power (go to politics)
church of richdom (marry Bill G.)
church of doing good (join the peace corps)
church of pop (mass culture)

church of knowledge(that's where I belong) Plato said something in the sense: if there is something knowable I want to know it...the same with me. Did I pay a price for not belonging to the other churches where lots of my friends and relatives went to yes I did...sometimes it was pretty bad (eg. to be alone) (girless and friendless) but it went over (finally I got of both more than I wanted and had to fight hard to get back my (happy) loneliness). The church of knowledge has some gathering places, this is one of them, schools, universities, observatoria, science clubs/forums. There is a lot going on.

Some people are guided by the signs from their destiny, some have to be dragged towards it ( a proverb)
When looking at people who are doing things which seem obviously foolish to you, remember that they do them because they haven't seen a better way. If you want, and they are willing, try and point them towards a new path. If they are unwilling (most people are not willing to listen, don't burden yourself with them. you can only help as much as a person is willing to work), let them continue their mistakes. Hopefully they will learn eventually. Either way, have compassion for them. while you may be a bit removed, they are walking through life blind. :(

I am a member of the church of doing good. I got here a strange way. It sounds to me like you are coming along the same path - those stupid people, they walk around like headless chickens, and then laugh at you because you are not doing the same? morons. But they too are logical beings. they just haven't yet broken out of what is easy in order to take a look around themselves. they suffer day to day not knowing why they do what they do, but yet they continue without question. poor suckers. :(

All my opinion, of course, feel free to disagree.

congratulations on your freedom. As ProCop mentioned, it's not easy; it certainly has it's rewards, though.
Don't be scared, I've gone through all that, and look at me!:) *belches and eats cheese of discarded mcdonalds rapper*
You are in the act of becoming a fully intellectually developed human being. Its great, its a fun ride, your thoughts will keep changing and getting better each time and the changes will start happening faster and faster, soon what you think one week will seem juvenile and absurd the next. At least thats what happened to me.
I'm nearly 20 and this year (19-20) has by far been my biggest yet. You are probably at a stage where you think you can't get smarter but believe me you can and will, drastically smarter. I assume you are maybe 14 or 15 and these strange deep thoughts are just starting to come to you. I understand it is hard not to feel like a genius. Especially when your friends don't seem exceptionally bright.
But you will humble and start to understand that the more you learn the more you realise you don't know.
Not me however, I know all :eek:;)

And I'm guessing you feel as though you are infinitely more intelligent than your parents. Well I'll tell you something that most will try to hide from you;
They will definately be more intelligent than you in some ways. Maybe not at having deep philosophical thoughts but they will know how to NOT fuck your life up which is often a byproduct of premature deep thinking.
Stay away from drugs for now, you will undoubtedly be drawn to them like a magnet very soon(unless you have already) but despite what people say, weed in particular fucks young people around pretty badly. Mainly due to the fact that it is billed as harmless, in reality you become dependent on it and it drains away motivation and energy, all you start thinking about is weed and how wierd it would be if weed could talk, This is very detrimental to a developing brain.
I'm just saying.

Don't lose your friends just yet, they'll catch up(enough), untill then, study them like the simple organisms they are. Observe their behaviours and take note, learn about people by watching them. This will help you in the future and will make being around them bearable.

good luck!
I agree with much that has been said but I am (by nature) contrarian and i tend to seek the exactly opposing view to what I believe at the moment so im going to contradict our esteemed posters a bit.

First, try to remember (during those times your feeling particularly sure about your opinion or belief) that the people you're disagreeing with are equally sure they are right, you both added up your experience and knowledge and arrived at your opposing viewpoints. To them you look as silly and naive as they look to you. Also consider that many things you KNOW are right today will look silly to you in the future. If you know/trust the person you disagree with listen very closely, they may be telling you something you didn't realize. No matter how far from your present beliefs their opinions are. To me, thats the difference between a closed and open mind, an open mind will face an idea that goes against everything he believes because he knows they COULD be right, a closed mind has made his decision before you started talking.

I guess I'm saying be open to being wrong. I went through what you described about ten years ago and oddly i feel like i know less now than i did then (in a sense) because then I was positive in my beliefs, there was nothing else to learn. Obviously that wasn't the case but I was very close minded and totally sure of my "rightness". Just remember this ... the more you know, the more you realize there is to learn, therefore you know less because the amount of information available to an open mind just gets bigger and bigger. You start to realize you know nothing (in the grand scheme) just pieces of much bigger ideas.

Finally, don't take what you read here as the ultimate truth (my post included). Look elsewhere as well, in as many places as you can. If your friends and family are hassling you it's (i assume) not out of malice but of concern. They see you changing and change scares everyone. If you trust them don't take their views lightly.

The moment you're ABSOLUTELY sure your right is the moment you're mind closed.

just my opinion, hope it helps.
what you have said so far is helpful but still not entirely new... i realise most of what you all have said but i need to know what i can do about it.

There are different churches you can subscribe too:


church of power (go to politics)
church of richdom (marry Bill G.)
church of doing good (join the peace corps)
church of pop (mass culture)

i dont really find the need to be part of something bigger like that , i need support especially from close friends, which i seem to find impossible to trust.. but thats another issue entirely.

Don't lose your friends just yet, they'll catch up(enough), untill then, study them like the simple organisms they are

Its extremely depressing 'studying' my friends because they are more 'simple' organisms. Surely you can understand that that just reinforces my feelings of distance???

im 17 and well im not about to go into drugs, i just not sure where to head from where i am.

i realise that my friends believe they are right and that maybe im not wrong but i can only act upon what i believe not what i dont believe but may be true.
i dont really find the need to be part of something bigger like that , i need support especially from close friends, which i seem to find impossible to trust.. but thats another issue entirely.

you may have friends you do not know about (now). it may hepl if you see that there are people that are more like you, than your friends you are now with, I respect your dislike for big clans but, they have something good too. (when I came to the university, I had quickly the feeling: that's where I belong, I could relate and communicate very easy, scored excelent, etc, while at my hometown I was considered not a retard but "a bit" random...)
large groups no matter the purpose lead themselves inevitably to hierarchal structure that also ends in power play. Any sort of power distinction creates a bias of attitude and perception i can never by myself as part of a group no matter how 'liberal' the group, im positive of this.
and i dont mean to liken it to a religion but if it makes you happy its gotta be doing some good.

pehaps if you went into more detail about the difficulties specific to your situation we could be less generic in our suggestions.
i just not sure where to head from where i am.

Excited or scared? They are very closely related. The only difference is whether you expect success or failure. Believe instead to succeed and see the great opportunity you have. You can do whatever you want! Who do you want to be?

Caterpillar & Butterfly -

Reinventing me. Who shall I be?
Comfortable on the leaf. Time bekons thee.
But I'm scared, can't you see?
Life is growth. Go boldly.
Follow my heart. Is that the key?
Yes, a wonderous world awaits. Now fly free.
(Joy in discovery)
My advice is . . .

Find yourself a girlfriend . . . that is, if you're a guy, as I've presumed.

Cynicism is a virulent cancer, but, though dangerous, it is not irremedial and can be incised by a wholesome love (or lust) for another.
I once read an interview with the Dalai Lama in which he was asked how one avoids arrogance as one comes to understand more about reality as a result of thinking about it more than others. It is the only question I have ever seen him umm and aah about. The difference between being right and being arrogant is sometimes indiscernable. (Which does not excuse arrogant behaviour of course, nor the need for doubt and humility).

Never worry about growing away from your friends unless your friends are your role-models. And don't forget that you'll soon have to put up with children who think they are cleverer than you.
If your private life has nothing to do with me, then don't start threads that pertain to it, dumb ass.
If you have a girlfriend, why don't you ask her and not us?
Hello Patty rick

We all have been what you have been through, or are still in it currently.

" Not knowing something is the same as it not existing"

If you find yourself hating others because they choose not to think objectively then it will bring you nothing but misery.

Take my advice and do these things:

#1. Read "for the new intellectual" by Ayn Rand.
#2. Develop a moral code based on human requirements and objectivity. Understand how humans work.
#3.Practice compassion and read a book by the dalai lama.
Without compassion in this world, you will go insane , and become bitter.
#4. Write when you travel or have a thought, You must collect your mind to formulate concrete judgements. You must also remain openminded and allow new facts and new ideas to flow freely into your mind.
#5. understand that money is a product of virtue and if you are very sane and make money, you will enjoy it.

Do what is best for you but NEVER at the sacrifice of another.

And most importantly, find things that you love to do, and do them!
Exercise regularly and eat well.

Just some tips that have helped me in the past.

another post

Here is another post that relates to a woman who i was talking too who felt the need to absolutely rip apart my "thinking "
She said this :

"We are who we are. One does not decide who one wants to be."
"We are who we are. One does not decide who one wants to be." +
"Don't try to be. Just be."
She said that I "try to hard"

I cannot disagree more with these remarks.
What do you guys think?

These were my responses to "jalima" the woman who said the above:

Unfortunately, not trying to be, and just being is the equivalent to acting without thinking.
Wouldnt you agree that its essential to know what, or who you want to be or do?
Without an ethical code of morality, what are your actions, goals or desires driven by?

Who you are is your choice, not to be determined by any unethical or irrational whim.
So my response would have to be; in trying to be, you will eventually discover and become.

However, simply acting without thinking would reinforce my sincere belief that ignorance is bliss.
Unfortunately, I cannot, and choose not to live that path .

Do you have logical reasons for everything that you do?
When i asked why you did things, you responded. " to keep myself busy"
If keeping yourself busy makes you happy , then i guess thats an effective goal.

We are not animals driven by only instincts.We have a higher capacity for intelligence. Our main goal in our life is to be happy. An animal has no such ambition, he simply strives to satisfy his ID, or instinctual desires.

We make the decisions that lead to our happiness based on the goals and paths that we wish to choose.
So we do decide who we want to be, we can decide that traits that we would like to incorporate into our personality bank.
for instance:
If you want to be compassionate, you will be compassionate.
If you want to forgive, you will try to forgive.
If you don't want to be angry, then you wont be angry.

We control our every actions and emotions.
I think the problems is that to many act without asking themselves why, or what they are doing.

Let me know what you guys think about this.
Am i nuts or is she simply ballast? (an ayn rand term)
Don't agree with too much of that but no matter.

However one point. I don't think it is all that useful to say to someone that they should be more compassionate, or strive for happiness and so on. What they should strive for is a decent understanding of themselves and the world. It's odds on that this will lead to compassion and happiness, but when these things finally arrive they are genuine and stable, based on a solid basis of understanding and not just on a faith in someone else's advice, however well meant.

My advice (to which the same proviso definitely applies) would be don't believe anything at all that you're told unless you know why it must be true. Avoid all assumptions, however well hidden, and you'll probably end with a fairly Buddhist view, and be happy and compassionate for good reasons.