Are you a product of role modling or the projection of your inner self

M

Mostly Harmless

Thrower of Coconuts
Registered Senior Member
To me these are two distinct personnas, the first is what you are as a child, you as u project yourself, is a product of the role models you are surrounded by.

->Many never go past this stage.

The second, is a later stage, where you have created an image of yourself in your mind, of what you see yourself to be, and act accordingly in the outside world.

->Many remain stuck in this for the rest of their lives.

Any takers on this theory?
 
Every single human being is influenced by the 'role models' around them. Every one of us. Just look at the friends you have for a basic example. I guarantee you that if you've been with a group of friends for a long time, you've taken some of their traits subconsciencly and they've taken some of yours.
 
I always felt that you are made up of millions of different influences, nothing original except the end result. So a combination of a million end results create you. However, in a debate this wouldn't hold up - it allows for the impossible infinite regress.

I personaly have an image of what I am (which is very depressing - low self esteem) and what I want to be. But I don;t counciessl act like the persona I believe I am, or the one I want to be. I'm just me and then I try to do things that will help change my personality for the better (if that doesn't really make sense cause its kinda worded funny, a good example would be working out and getting into shape, or learning more about a certain subject, or studying philosophy. I don't know how best to explain, sorry). See I am who I am, not who I project in my mind and attempt to live up to.

However, on the theory itself - I think its really true. Even though I don't think te second part is true for everone, but possibly a majority, I don't know.
 
what i meant by the second part is that along the way, you create an image of yourself, part of that is what you say when you are speaking/thinking within yourhead. that is, you walk into a room and think, everyone is so relaxed and having a good time, i look like such a dork and you shuffle to a corner. fact is you've acted according to what you've told yourself, not according to reality. you have absolutely no idea what people where actually thinking about you.

i tried something very silly one night at college. i had been wrking late with friend and missed the bar crawl, which everyone goes to to get on an equal footing i.e. piss drunk. then head over to a tiny dive club, where only students went to and that only when smashed. its hell and damnation if you went there sober.

So i walked in with my friend and we both made a pact that we'd just act smashed, not the falling over one, but the big smiles to everyone as you pass by, chat rubbish and move on kind of thing, and the funny thing is, i started feeling a little light headed, the kind when you Really are smashed and had a fantastic nite. Jst goes to show.

But i find now that when i meet people they are almost always acting out their personal dramas going on in their heads (as do i, i realised), very much as above, someones depressed, elated, being arrogant.and i realised that the way forward is 1.not to get sucked in to their personal life dramas 2.be conscious of what/how i'm thinking, it effects people you meet. that is if you've been telling yourself what a loser you are, you Will look and React like one.
 
Tyler: Every single human being is influenced by the 'role models' around them.
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BTW, i completely agree with you, i just think after a while role modling acts upon you less, when younger, you wnat to be like someone, when older you start seeing jsut the traits you want in others. "i want to be more successful; atheletic; more serious; less so " etc. these are relative and acquired from sources around you. but its all these things that you say in your head to yourself, that make up you as you and others see you. go into a cafe saying to yourself, god i look good, what a great day i;m having, you'll see a differnet reaction than if you go in saying "oh shit, my pants are too loose, my hairs fucked up, who should i speak to"

the insecurity you allow in your mind is what shafts you outside. that is, if you're saying it so often to yourself, you may as well be saying it to everyone around you.
 
True. We are more easily influenced in every way when we are young children. But it does not become as conscience as you may believe when we become adults, or young adults or whatever age. I have had a group of 3 other friends whom I spend a lot of time with for the past 2 years. I can very easily point out the traits from them that I have matured into, or taken from them. One friend is a great actor and uses his hands and body a lot to get a point across, I now do that more too. One friend has a very sarcastic way of pointing certain things out. I know I do that more too now. It is because I subconsciencly find these traits funny or good in another person that I respect or admire that I will decide to be respectable or admirable, I need to take these traits on.
 
Peace Cactus.

Tyler It is because I subconsciencly find these traits funny or good in another person that I respect or admire that I will decide to be respectable or admirable, I need to take these traits on.
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What i mean is a little more than that, i too have picked up traits from people. But the second stage is what interests me more:

The second, is a later stage, where you have created an image of yourself in your mind, of what you see yourself to be, and act accordingly in the outside world.
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It came to my mind reading Paulo Cuelo's the alchemist (or Pilgramige not sure), where this man is traveling with a women, they have to get to the next stage of their journey and have to enter a church. the guard on the gate, however, when the woman asks to enter, is very rude, abrupt and dismissive. she gets angry and they have an altercation, but the man traveling with her says to her somenthing like this: you are not focussing on what you want to achieve. you have instead involved yourself in this poor mans personal drama." the guard i think had had a tough life and was not even a real guard. but it gave him the opportunity to draw her into his world of grief where he badgered her, and she, like many of us, fell into it, as a personal insult.

the point being, we often get side tracked from our goals and get drawn into situations/altercations that serve us no purpose. someone elses drama being played out in life, sure we partake in the same life, but a lot of times we're waylaid by getting involved in dialogue that takes us away from our own goals, which dialogue saps us of our energy at the same time.
 
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Mostly Harmless,

I see it like this:

We born and develop some self-awareness. We become aware of ourselves and act accordingly. We are innocent, we want to play, we want to have fun, we express Love without fear. There is no fear, there's no lies, no doubt, no confusion from the mind.

Adults come and present you to this fearful world, where you are always worried about yesterday and tomorrow. What happened yesterday you learn not to forgive and to fear it. What will happen tomorrow you learn to fear, to doubt. You lose your Love. You become fearful and just want to be like others, you fear being yourself. You are umcomfortable, but your fear is greater...

That's why we see our world like this and the reason why people think that fear, violence and such things are from human nature. If you want to see the true human nature, just look to children. Are they fearful? Do they worry about the future? Or they just joyfully play...?

Innocence and Simplicity are the recipe for happiness... :)

Love,
Nelson
 
No adults don't come and show you this "fearful world" and then you are suddenly aware and frightened. You mature and begin to think these things on your own, cause an adult can introduce a child to this world, but the child will very rarely step into it.

Innocence and Simplicity are the recipe for happiness.... AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! ........I like being a Beta, Betas are better than Gammas........... ;)
 
No adults don't come and show you this "fearful world" and then you are suddenly aware and frightened. You mature and begin to think these things on your own, cause an adult can introduce a child to this world, but the child will very rarely step into it.
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If you let a child be him or herself and NEVER really goes against it... and anyone go against it, and if the child don not judge... then, the innocence is preserved...

But this "fearful world" is important for maturation... but it's important to keep the child with a good perspective of life... :)

Love,
Nelson
 
Ever read: To Kill a Mocking Bird? Interesting incite on the subject, I highly reccomend it.
 
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