Being Direct


Valued Senior Member
Honestly; I wish to ask something to all ye females out there...

I've seen many women call men pigs because they 'use' women for sex... dragging them along and pretending to feel something for them and then just dumping them...

but if a guy came up to you and asked if you wanted to have a physical, no feelings involved, relationship... would you admire his straightforward-ness? or still consider him a pig?
I think that women view men who are so direct as socially inept. They can't figure out a way to charm the pants of her and so they have to resort to simply asking. Some women like it, most don't. It's a sign of weakness and women don't like weak men.
any male have a view on this? =P

I've had women come up to me and suggest the same - a physical only relationship.

I can tell you from my experience that a 'physical only' relationship is impossible.
From my experience, emotional feelings almost always develop.

Sure, the first time is great and you feel no attachment and that's why you do it again, then again, then again and suddenly you realize you have feelings. That's when things change. One always uses the 'it was only a physical relationship' argument while the other can't accept that.

Honestly, from my experience, 'fuq' friends' relationships are doomed from the first time.
Spell color wrong, Jaded? :p

I was thinking of even more directly than your example. I was thinking more along the lines of just saying, "Hey, let's go get nasty." Without any warmup at all. He tried to charm you and stimulate your erogenous zones. Even though he didn't seem to go the full nine yards. I still think many women would have seen that as inept and weak. Note your hysterical reaction... Did you accept? That's key to the issue. What was the conversation like beforehand? You're a smart girl. Was he trying to turn you on intellectually before he started sucking your fingers?
Yeah, usually the first time you see her with another guy, or vice versa...

You have me figured for someone else. Truth be told, I'm open sexually and don't allow the primal 'jealousy' emotion rule my thoughts.

hmm.... I don't think it'll end up in sex... but hey; it feels good... and when it ends we'll have lost nothing... =P

Perfect attitude, in my opinion. :)
what if it's an open relationship? i.e. they can flirt at will

That's the thing. It's easy to say open relationship, but hard to live that way. Possessiveness (I have a feeling that's too many s's) get's in the way. There are certainly times that you won't get possessive. For instance, if you don't care a thing about the person. But, even in the case of mere friendship sex, it's hard to escape that feeling. We're wired wrong. We're programmed to own our mates, to not allow others to defile our temples.

It can be done, but it's hard.

hmm.... I don't think it'll end up in sex... but hey; it feels good... and when it ends we'll have lost nothing... =P

Ahhh, see. He tried the direct approach and it didn't work. Next he'll have to try flowers or stimulating you in other ways. Unless he's the kind of guy that will just keep pestering you until you give in. Cmon... C'mon... Your breasts are like down-filled pillows and your eyes are eyes are deep enough to drown in... C'mon... :p (Sorry for the crappy metaphors... I couldn't think of anything better on the spot... What did he say to you? Was it better than that?)

And what have you lost? Well, perhaps a friendship in the end... It's hard to take rejection sometimes.
He turns me on intelectually too... but I'm thinking of ending it. Just I'm not quite sure how to do this!!!

Kick him in the balls... that ought to do it... :p

Seriously, it's hard when it's a friend. You could just pull out the dreaded friend card. And, you might actually be telling the truth. Unfortunately, if he's persistant and really wants you then it might ruin the friendship anyway. Those hurt looks from across the room and such.

Let's get nasty doesn't work for you??? What?? It works everytime over here in the states. :p Actually, I don't think I've ever used that particular phrase in more than jest. Usually, when I try the direct approach it's more like "Wanna go... ?" and leave it at that. That way, she fills in her own words.

I hope in real life you're more romantic. That's kinda =P =P

I did apologize for the lame metaphors... :p I don't go in for the romance bit, too much. No poetry from this boy.
I don't generally hop around too much. I've been in this thread for a while now. Playing my guitar at the same time. I'll pop out every now and again, but I don't feel too intellectual today, so am staying away from the more philosophical threads for the moment.

And I don't like being tracked... :D I'd never try to track you...
"Wanna go...?" might work for me if it were a one night thing and I was feeling particularly depressed and in need of something a little more [insert your own word].

That's when I use it... And when I don't really care if it's accepted or not. Though I generally try to stay away from depressed women. I've missed out on several scores because I couldn't take advantage of emotional instability of the poor girl. I'm far too nice of a guy for my own good.

It sounds, from your posts, that this guy wants you in a nice way: without the usual pathetic attempts to flatter (insert any one-liner here). And it sounds like you're keen on him too, not to mention you've known each other for years.... Go for it! But beware if the hook-up is purely physical.

I've tried, but it generally ends up far worse than the lines I printed a while back. I just don't have the poetic touch. I just end up rehashing bits of old poems I've heard and doing a dreadful job of it.

And as to your last examples, yup, that's how they come out. So I don't even try.

I'm really not this type of girl. Hmm... wonder what's gotten into me

Must be the scientific influence... :p
apart from that; what do you mean?

I was just joking that perhaps sciforums is having a "bad" effect on you.

Or were you referring to your indecision about how to deal with the boy? If that's the case, maybe you should go for it.

Now please; off the topic of me and on to what I originally wanted this to be about

I agree. Sorry about that... :D
Alright, now I'm confused. I'm making personal observations, from what I read in your posts, as to the chemistry you and this fellow have..... I may bo off in my interpretation of the situation (that's a lot of ...tion's).

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is: do what you like.
Ahh, ok, now I get you. And so this is where the crux of difficulty lies. Is it possible for you to get involved in a strictly physical sense without emotions coming into play. I'll let you answer this yourself, since we're no longer talking about you. ;) Something to consider though. As an aside, it is generally a good thing to attempt to learn all the aspects of your self. Physical and emotional. A little fling might do you good if you can keep emotions out of it.