Christian Supplies
- Thread starter (Q)
- Start date
I wonder about that, too. I imagine it's bibles and stuff.
Bibles, crucifixes, holy water, more bibles...are you supposed to drink holy water or what?
C
charles cure
Guest
(Q) said:
jesus throw pillows, coffee mugs, and shotguns shaped like crucifixes.
Ever see that gruesome crucifix the pope carries around, I wonder where He picked that thing up. Did he just wake up one morning and tell one of cardinals that he's out of crucifixes and if he'd mind popping over to the supply store to pick one up? And while he's there grab a couple of 'Honk if you love Jesus" stickers for the popemobile.
Do they have the latest edition of Christianity for Dummies?
Do they have the latest edition of Christianity for Dummies?
Where else do you think they get those Jesus fish?
My favorite is pictures of Christ.
Do all the stores sell the same stuff, like a chain store, or is everything they sell from local vendors and artists?
Do they have to pay taxes? Are they allowed to make a profit?
Could I just walk into a store, pick up some items and not pay for them, and claim that god told me to I didn't have to pay?
Do they have to pay taxes? Are they allowed to make a profit?
Could I just walk into a store, pick up some items and not pay for them, and claim that god told me to I didn't have to pay?
Doubt it. My boss is very involved with his church and, as I am on the road for the company a lot, he sometimes has me pick up things for the latest church project at "Beardsley's Book and Bible". It's like a Hallmark store for Christians and, as I see it, a blatant commercialization of the faith that would leave Jesus puking in his grail. They sell Sunday school supplies, inspirational books, statues, decorations, bumper stickers, key chains, posters, T-shirts (I want one that says "I had a near-death experience, went to Heaven, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt"), pillows with bible stuff on them (hey, girls, what could be kinkier than getting nailed good and hard with the words and benignly smiling face of our Lord and Savior right under your head?), and that's just up front by the registers. I have never wandered any further.
Fortunately, the boss has a sense of humor. The first time he sent me there he asked me not to make my head spin around on my shoulders while spitting pea soup until after I paid for the goods.
Fortunately, the boss has a sense of humor. The first time he sent me there he asked me not to make my head spin around on my shoulders while spitting pea soup until after I paid for the goods.
who would want to buy crap from fucking christians
thedevilsreject said:
*************
M*W: Amen! Being a good Catholic like I was at one time, I frequented such stores -- only Catholic stores, of course. Also, I visited many Catholic shrines in Europe. Sadly, in order to get to the actual spiritual center of the particular holy shrine, you had to go through a commercial carnival of christian cultish crap. I bought everything from generic praying hands to bottled holy water from Lourdes and, yes, to answer the question, you really can drink holy water -- in fact, it's encouraged. At the bath houses at Lourdes, the nuns take you and strip you of your clothes, walk you down three steps into ice cold holy water, take you and dunk you as if in baptism, then jerk you out of the pool and leave you to redress yourselves while they throw the next fool in the ice water. I did it because I was there and it was a Sunday morning while everybody else was at mass. I had my eight year-old daughter with me who screamed when they tore off her clothes and threw her in the freezing water that flowed directly out of the mountain -- no hot and cold taps, no plugs, no holy soap, just a steady stream of pure mountain water in a tiled pool. The whole experience took less than one minute per person. Reminded me of stories I've read and photos I've seen how the Nazi matrons and even how the male Fascist pigs treated the women and girls in the camps forcing them into the showers of death. Ours was a similar experience.
But, to answer your question "who would want to buy crap from fucking christians?," the answer would be, other "fucking christians." A more reasonable question would be, "why do christians need the fucking crap?" I look at the christian crap I've bought but later put away in storage boxes, and I ask myself, "what possessed me to buy this fucking crap?" Then I have my answer.
There's a lot of money to be had in the religious market. Start a Christian supply store, and they will come, even if you fill it with shit no one needs.(Q) said:
Hell, I could try that. Wouldn't that be just the biggest irony, an Atheist running one of those stores?
I wonder what they stock in the Muslim Supplies Store?
Carcano
Valued Senior Member
SnakeLord said:Well, certainly semtex.
Mustapha Rim Ram's Muslim Supply Shop
On sale in the Kid's clothing section, jackets with semtex liners(with free detonator & a Bin Laden Motivational CD) Remote extra
For the Sports enthusiast: Assault rifles, ammunition, grenade launchers, mortars, and booby traps. Car bombs: temporarily out-of-stock...expecting some today
For the Culturally Inclined: Special this week....Maps to all the homes of 7-12 year old virgins, Kidnapping Kits complete with television camera, Beheading schedules, Buzkazi rule books with free headless goat carcass, and an autographed copy of Saddam Hussein's new book entitled 'What the Fuck Happened?'
Sorry... 'Cartoons for Dummies' no longer available