So im wondering why most people seem to think that its always the male who initiates sexual acts
It isn't "always," but "most of the time." This idea arises in puberty for the very good reason that males reach their sexual peak about fifteen years earlier than women. The average teenage boy walks around so horny that he often--literally--can hardly stand it. Very few teenage girls feel that way. The current phenomenon of some young women acting as though they feel that way is an artifact of misguided feminism: thinking that to be
equal to men, women have to be
the same. (We need to teach more geometry in our schools.
) You don't start running into a lot of women who honestly do feel that way until they're in their early thirties. So starting in puberty we're conditioned to the early reality that men treat sex with much more urgency than women. When you reach your thirties you'll discover that isn't quite so true.
But this idea is also rooted in several thousand years of biology. Neither contraception nor abortion were reliable and widely available until very recently. Women had to accept the maxim that if they had intercourse there was a good chance that they'd go through pregnancy, which would not only leave them with a baby to take care of but also had a high risk of death. This forced them to think twice about it and was a reason that men felt freer to pursue their natural impulses.
This brings us back to the backlash-feminism issue I mentioned earlier. Two or three generations of women have grown up without the constraint of unavoidable pregnancy, much less the sobering threat of dying in childbirth. They are literally freer than their elders to examine their own sexuality, and this examination is far from complete. Our understanding of female sexuality has a long way to go and our attitudes have an even longer way.
Women's sexual behavior might be said to fall along a spectrum. Some are carried along by the inertia of those who came before, reinforced by morality which always lags behind reality by several generations, and regardless of how they feel they wait for men to make the first move. Others compulsively flout morality and in a spirit of revenge for their downtrodden ancestresses try to be as sexually aggressive as men. Still others look inward and try to express what they feel, but what they feel can't help being influenced by both extremes which they see every day.
It will take a while to sort this out. In the meantime don't pay much attention to what "most people seem to think." Pay more attention to what the individual women you get involved with seem to think. You will meet all three kinds, and all points in between, as well as a few who don't fall on that particular spectrum.
