main evidence for the growing earth

Y'all milk kangaroos?

Ya. We have a Double Loaded Bungee Cord milking machine just for kangaroos

Trains them to jump up and down in one spot

Cords attach to the ceiling and floor. Kangaroo goes in a pouch in the middle

Clear the Joey's out of the kangas pouch, slip in the milk collector, you got yourself Kanga milk

Big hit with fast food outlets. Pour into strong tumbler, add flavour, it shakes itself as it hops to the customer

Nah. To get it green you have to add echidna squeezings..
But isn't that counteracted by the continual gas emissions of cows and politicians? The earth shouldn't even need turtles anymore..

Only if said gaseous emissions are lighter than air. Evidence indicates that, given the stench, said gas is actually heavier than air...