The Worst Film You Ever Saw...

The Flemster said:
Fast and the Furious: This pile of shit has a lot to answer for. In England, anyone under 25 who's seen this film has decided to go out and buy a Vauxhall Nova and kit it out with so much stuff that Dan Dare would be embarrassed to get in it (*sticks fingers up to Slotty*).
And Vin Petrol is a crap actor.

Driven: My God... how could they take one of the world's most boring sports and make a film even MORE boring about it?

Good calls, fella!

The Flemster.

PLAGARIST!!!! Did`nt you lend me New Years Day ? That was shite :D

A cheap budget film that was so bad it was brilliant was "The Legend of Bruce Lee" it was so cheap the entire set was made of cardboard. When the characters were fighting, they would knock into the set every now and then. Big dints and creases would appear in the walls, and as the fighting progressed you could see them pop out again. the sky was painted by what appeared to be someone having a fit, and when the actors were against the backdrop of sky.their shadows were clearly visible.
loucifer said:
I wish you well buddy, and I hope you'll find beauty one day (thought it wont be in T3!).
A few names for you, old:

Akira Kurosawa, Federico Fellini, Nikita Mikhalkov, Zhang Yimou, Emir Kusturica, David Lean, Ingmar Bergman...

and new:

Thomas Vinterberg, Jeunet et Caro, Abbas Kiarostami, Lukas Moodysson, Pedro Almodovar, Michael Moore, Samira Makhmalbaf, Lars von Trier...

Ultimately, each one of us should watch what they please, but criticising what we don't yet know is not a very useful, or intelligent way to look at the world around us. Forgive me if this sounds patronising, it's not meant to.

Peace and smiles to all :) :m:

Huh? Did I say I had anything against independent cinema? No. Does the fact I was entertained by T-3 mean I'm automatically disqualified from having seen the films of an obscure, osbcure director like Kurosawa? No. Pay attention to what I said, which was no more than the following:

a.) independent films are equally capable of formula as their bigger-budgeted brethren.

b.) I said T-3 had good action sequences, which it did, and Mr. Mongo himself. When I'm referring to the film's star as a retard, that'd should be a flashing neon sign that I didn't take the film all that seriously. If you didn't pick up on the slang 'cause you're English and I'm not, I understand.

I'll add a c.) yeah, a lot of idiots automatically refuse to see movies that have subtitles. Another buncha idiots gives movies that have subtitles a lot more credit than they deserve, i.e. that atrocious Roberto Benigni flick that turned the Holocaust into a fuckin' vacation.

Oh, and another thing ... since you seem to dig independent and foreign films, why'd you attack Russell Crowe? Romper Stomper's an amazing movie. LA Confidential was also good, though neither independent nor foreign (well, maybe the latter for you). Yeah, Gladiator and Beautiful Mind both ate several yards of shit, but so did everything McDowell did post-Clockwork Orange.

And as a side note ... don't put Michael Moore in that category. The guy's Kevin Smith with an agenda. There's nothing wrong with that, but he's not an artist.
worst film ever? um... Romeo Must Die, it's so bad in terms of the story... I mean like REALLY bad, the actions and those x-ray shots are pretty cool though
Good someone mentioned Battlefield Earth. That's the only movie I've ever walked out on. I think Titanic was pretty good, sure it was 5/6 hours but it really didn't feel that way when I was watching it.
As for the mainstream, I have to say <i>Matrix: Revolutions</i> singlehandedly pissed me off more than any film in recent memory. Is it the worst film I've ever seen? No. But the sheer amount of determination and foresight that must have gone into ruining not only the final film of what was once a promising trilogy but retroactively canceling out the coolness of all previous installments had to be a major undertaking. For five hours or so, the W brothers lead us down the postmodern path, throwing little Baudrillard snippets at us, hinting that the ending will turn everything on its fucking head... then voila! It's the Bible! Just yippee skippy.

As for my art/trash pick, I nominate Ken Russell's "The Fall of the Louse of Usher" -- the most painful thing I've ever endured (not counting every time I hear President Bush say "noo-cu-lur" or the time I had surgery on my balls).
The worst film I've ever seen has to be Changing Lanes starring Ben Affleck and ... someone else. It's not that the acting was particularly bad, and I guess neither was the storyline, in fact it was a pretty ok movie in it's making, it just was totally not suited to my tastes. I like films for escapism, this one was set in today's world, two random guys, everything going as wrong for them as it could... I just hated it. :(
Think it was Morgan Freeman. You didn't think the acting was bad? I thought it was terribly cardboard.
Well I saw it at the cinema, and I think it was just too depressing for me to focus on the acting. Oooh, but next worst film is the Butterfly Effect it just kept getting... worse, in so many ways I didn't even concieve of a split second before it happened. :(
Apparently that's a really depressing movie. Everyone who has seen it that I know have said that they contemplated suicide for a brief spell after seeing it.
Yeah, I did too. :p then I had to watch it again cos my flatmate watched it and I'd hear it in the next room anyway :rolleyes (this was around 2am so it was either that or (try to) sleep), and it wasn't so bad. Desensitised I guess.
Mainstream: The one with Tommy Lee Jones (who I like) and Benecio del Toro (who I don't mind), and good ol Tommy knife fights with del Toro. Oh, and Tommy eats wold shit. It was so SHITE.

Not Mainstream: Donny Darko. What a pretentious waste of time. Every little kiddy went and saw it oohed over how deep it was. Words can't describe how bad it was.
I wouldn't make "Donnie Darko" the worst I've ever seen. At least it had a psycho-bunny suit in it. Still, like you said, it tried to be deep. It was, for us, just a way to kill a bottle of scotch on a weekend.

For awhile, it looked like "Vulgar" was going to make the list. It opened up with clown rape and then spent a lot of time in the touchy-feely recovery stage. When the clown and the rapist crossed paths again, I felt it redeemed itself. Not a must-have, but not bad either. I heard that Howard Stern coldn't watch the whole thing, that he shut it off after the rape scene. I don't know if that's true or not, but if it is, ...Pussy.

The worst film I ever saw was "The Blair Witch Project". Worst...writing...ever. I can't blame the actors. They did what they were told to do. But I think there's a room with a million monkeys and a million typewriters in it that could have written a better story while waiting to write Shakespeare.

i.e. that atrocious Roberto Benigni flick that turned the Holocaust into a fuckin' vacation.

I hear a lot of people say this about "Life Is Beautiful". Did I buy a different movie or something? Maybe it's just a matter of interpretation, or maybe they watch with a preconceived idea of what should be going on, but I saw it as the story of a father who is out to preserve his son's life and innocence no matter the risk. I saw no "vacation" in it. I found it tragic when, so close to liberation, that the father had to make the supreme sacrifice, trusting fate or God to deliver his son. Yes, the Holocaust was the backdrop, but even during that period of history many people who suffered actually managed to keep their senses of humor. I used to have a paper of jokes that came from the death camps themselves, mostly from the Jews. I can only remember one, but I'll spare you if you think you'll find it offensive.

"Anton the Dove Fancier" is a collection of stories from the Holocaust, and not all of them are of tragedy and despair. It's been so long since I've read the book that I don't recall all of the stories therein, but I wouldn't be surprised if Bernigni was inspired by it.

A lot of people also rip on "Hogan's Heroes" with a greater degree of justification. Life in a prison camp isn't all chuckles and giggles with big-breasted frauleins throwing themselves at the handsome Yankee colonel. (At least, if it was, they never mentioned it in my history books.) But I found it interesting that John Banner based Sergeant Schulz on a real death camp sergeant. He said he was jovial, downright friendly (when nobody with a gun was looking), and did his best to avoid knowing what was going on. In an interview before he died he said that Sergeant Schulz was only slightly modified from the real sergeant in that he wasn't easily duped, he just knew how and when to keep his eyes and mouth shut.
Wasn't it Samuel Jackson in Changing Lanes? I didn't think it was that bad... reminded me of Falling Down with Kirk Douglas. Not a fun movie, though.
Life is Beautiful was a super example of escapism in a world where escapism is impossible. It highlighted how tragic the events were without becoming like Schindler's List, and purposely kept it human.

What did y'all think of Amelie, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (the new one from Jim Carey).

That reminds me: Vanilla Sky was also a terrible movie (although I thought I liked it the first time I saw it).
I thought Amelie was... odd, as I started iking the film I was tempted to switch off cos it was so 'odd', but by the end it was kinda sweet and oddly funny. Not intending to watch it again though. :p

Why do you think Vanilla Sky was a terrible movie?
Maybe I was just put off by the madness of it all. Almost like Requeim for a dream. And Tom Cruise is such an idiot in the film, but I suppose that was the point. On second thought, maybe it wasn't so bad after all. But I won't watch it for the third time :)
Jenyar said:
Maybe I was just put off by the madness of it all. Almost like Requeim for a dream.

Requiem for a Dream was weird, confused and hard to relate to, but I could see the artistic merit and wouldn't call it a bad movie as such. (Then again, perhaps I'm just biased - being a huge admirer of Jennifer Connelly... :eek: )