"We are who we are. One does not decide who one wants to be."

[Squashbuckler]

"Don't try to be. Just be."





These were my responses to "" the woman who said the above:


Unfortunately, not trying to be, and just being is the equivalent to acting without thinking.
Wouldnt you agree that its essential to know what, or who you want to be or do?
Without an ethical code of morality, what are your actions, goals or desires driven by?

Who you are is your choice, not to be determined by any unethical or irrational whim.
So my response would have to be; in trying to be, you will eventually discover and become.

However, simply acting without thinking would reinforce my sincere belief that ignorance is bliss.
Unfortunately, I cannot, and choose not to live that path .

Do you have logical reasons for everything that you do?
When i asked why you did things, you responded. " to keep myself busy"
If keeping yourself busy makes you happy , then i guess thats an effective goal.

We are not animals driven by only instincts.We have a higher capacity for intelligence. Our main goal in our life is to be happy. An animal has no such ambition, he simply strives to satisfy his ID, or instinctual desires.

We make the decisions that lead to our happiness based on the goals and paths that we wish to choose.
So we do decide who we want to be, we can decide that traits that we would like to incorporate into our personality bank.
for instance:
If you want to be compassionate, you will be compassionate.
If you want to forgive, you will try to forgive.
If you don't want to be angry, then you wont be angry.

We control our every actions and emotions.
I think the problems is that to many act without asking themselves why, or what they are doing.

 

[xobeto]

for the most part i agree with you but i can argue that most people who get angry do not want to be angry and have an extremely difficult time accomplishing otherwise. I personally believe that we in fact do not actually choose who we want to be instead, i think we choose to accept or disregard suggestions, instances and events, and traumatic experiences that occur in our lives and that who we are and the actions we take are based solely on a complex system of acceptances or declines of information or sentiments realated to these events. or maybe tv really is rotting my brain away!

 

[janeelsa]

I'm sorry, maybe this is a dumb answer. I've heard/read that we choose our lives before we're reborn. Do you think that's possible?

 

[Persol]

Squashbuckler,
We make the decisions that lead to our happiness based on the goals and paths that we wish to choose.
This sounds like Aristotles view. You have to act in accordance with who you want to be. The idea seems to have been picked up in the last couple years by many neo-self-help groups.

However, assuming somebody does ask 'why'... how do they answer it? At some point, you have to fall back on basic axioms that lead to the rest of your beliefs. If you can truely answer 'why' you choose these first axioms, you are not yet at the first level.

 

[janeelsa]

Originally posted by janeelsa
we choose our lives before we're reborn./B]

I should have said "we choose our situations"

 

[EPYON]

re we are who we are

I agree that deep down one does not decide who one wants to be. Sure we have choice and will which can affect it.

choice take characteristics we admire and use them
will disobey our true nature and let an event occur or not occur

Deep down you fall into the two groups good and evil

you dont know how but it is a feeling that you get and you just know deep down inside which one you truly are.

(some of the many think they are bad but deep down they know they could change their ways as it is their true nature)

dilema 1:
could you kill an innocent kid to save the world?

dilema 2:
could you kill 100 to save the world?

dilema 3: (this ones from spiderman)
if a gobby dropped your girl or guy from a bridge and a group of people which would you save?

dilema 4:
could you give your life to save someone else or the world?

 

[sparkle]

Originally posted by Squashbuckler
Who you are is your choice, not to be determined by any unethical or irrational whim.

Really? But how wide is your circle of choices? Ok, you have decided you need improvement and want to change. But what kind of change would you choose? Wouldn’t you take a path that somehow suits you best? Suits the “YOU” you actually ARE already?

 

[Canute]

Originally posted by Squashbuckler
Who you are is your choice, not to be determined by any unethical or irrational whim

Besides, who is there to decide what is unethical, irrational or a whim other than you?

 

[Squashbuckler]

Re: Re: "We are who we are. One does not decide who one wants to be."

Originally posted by Canute
Besides, who is there to decide what is unethical, irrational or a whim other than you?

-A goal that does not lead to your happiness that has not been tought out clearly would be classified as such.


Posted by SPARKLE:
"Really? But how wide is your circle of choices? Ok, you have decided you need improvement and want to change. But what kind of change would you choose? Wouldn’t you take a path that somehow suits you best? Suits the “YOU” you actually ARE already?"

-Our choices are very wide.The kind of change you seek should be conducive to your happiness and your wellbeing. Only really knowign yourself can help you there. To a certain degree people are as they are, but i do believe that they can eventually mold themselves into what they want with time and energy. I harly had any of my own thoughts on an intellectual level before i was 17-18 years old i would say. And even at that age, i didnt know enough about life to truly choose what was best for me.

Epyon- If you want to really read some good articles about things like that. Read " The virtue of selfishness " by ayn rand.


Persol-
However, assuming somebody does ask 'why'... how do they answer it? At some point, you have to fall back on basic axioms that lead to the rest of your beliefs.

-Yes, one must choose thier own mindset and be concrete with thier own ideas. But mans morality must coincide with the world that he lives in today.
For instance, not being able to masturbate (catholicism) has little bearing on reality, when in fact the human being does have a sex drive that must be fuffilledd.
Hence, your morality must correspond with the reality , and the reality of the human makeup.

If you simply " are who you are"
dont think about anything, it will all take place.
I cannot live like that =)

Thanks for the responses guys!

 

[Euthyphro]

If you want to be compassionate, you will be compassionate.
If you want to forgive, you will try to forgive.
If you don't want to be angry, then you wont be angry.

Beware confusing influence for decision. You can influence your behavior in these ways, but you can't absolutely decide it.

A goal that does not lead to your happiness that has not been tought out clearly would be classified as such.

Your happiness when? At the time you perform the act? The next day? The next month? The next year? Often a choice that brings us the most happiness at one of these times will bring us displeasure at another one of these times. Would you say one of these is the "correct happiness" and the others are an incorrect goal?

Deep down you fall into the two groups good and evil
you dont know how but it is a feeling that you get and you just know deep down inside which one you truly are.

Just because you believe the rational statement "Everything is good or evil" doesn't make it true. That's like the scientist who asks "Where is there room for will? Everything is random or deterministic."

We are not animals driven by only instincts.We have a higher capacity for intelligence. Our main goal in our life is to be happy. An animal has no such ambition, he simply strives to satisfy his ID, or instinctual desires.

What evidence do you have that happiness in humans is something more than the satisfaction of instinctual desires? If not instincts, what do we satisfy when we are happy? If we satisfy our expectations, isn't that just satisfying our instinct to truth? When our expectations are satisfied we can believe we knew the truth.

 

[sparkle]

Hi Squashbuckler,
I have the impression, basically we are saying the same things. Let me give you a metaphor and then you decided whether you can agree.
Let’s say our “self” is an unbreakable soap bubble. It reacts to our will. We can increase it, change the direction it floats, compress it, change the shape etc. by taking choices (which direction to float, what shape to change into…). Surely the soap bubble always remains THE (our) soap bubble. BUT: if we change its shape, if we expand by one side for instance, then the center (the core of our self) will move. That means that our self will have a new core. Still the soap bubble is the same. Could it be the lady who told you the title-sentences had meant it THAT way?

 

[Guyute]

ok ok....here you go....squashyboy

We control our every actions and emotions.
I think the problems is that to many act without asking themselves why, or what they are doing.

-squashbuckler-


Humens are impulsive creatures......
thats the problem though....we dont control our actions and emotions for the most part. Our emotions control us and emotions control our decisons. Dont get me wrong, there are some emotions that can be controlled(and when we control the emotions we hence control our actions) but only with a person with a wise mind..check out this diagram originally posted by Xenu(it makes sense to me )

Check this out......

http://www.sciforums.com/attachment.php?s=&postid=363709:p