Why is it selfish to not want children?

[Mrs.Lucysnow]

How do they do that when university takes years and to be financially sound takes years too ?.

Exactly. Women have to learn how to compromise and make choices. Its the hierarchy I was referring to. Women have to look at it and revise it and decide what is important to carve out for themselves. One can get an education and later have children. What is challenging is to complete high degrees and then go on and build a challenging and rewarding career, earn financial independence AND have kids. Its like women now are looking up at 40 and saying 'oh shit I forgot something' its really quite sad.

 

[Varda]

How do they do that when university takes years and to be financially sound takes years too ?.

By assuming their role in society and staying home.
Pursuing knowledge is not what they are after. You can learn at home. They're on a power trip.

But there is an alternative, which has become available in the past years and I think will be a strong tendency for the future, which is IT. It allows you to work from remote, so you can stay at home and still have a career.

 

[visceral_instinct]

I didn't know anyone in high school who said they wanted children. Most didn't think about it, some thought 'one day'. You don't know whether you would be a good parent or not at the moment since you are still learning how to be an adult. Its only an adult who can look at their adult life and assess something like that whether they are alone or in a marriage.

So when do I count as an adult? I'm 19. Not exactly a kid who doesn't know herself. When do I get the privilege of having my views and self-knowledge accepted instead of being told, you don't know your own mind?

I am a cold, inert person who is occasionally very explosive. Those tendencies have been a little modified, but they're there. Someone like that is NOT good mother material.

 

[Tnerb]

So when do I count as an adult? I'm 19. Not exactly a kid who doesn't know herself. When do I get the privilege of having my views and self-knowledge accepted instead of being told, you don't know your own mind?

I am a cold, inert person who is occasionally very explosive. Those tendencies have been a little modified, but they're there. Someone like that is NOT good mother material.

Actually, someone like that is perfect mother material. Have you ever seen Full House.

 

[Mrs.Lucysnow]

So when do I count as an adult? I'm 19. Not exactly a kid who doesn't know herself. When do I get the privilege of having my views and self-knowledge accepted instead of being told, you don't know your own mind?

I am a cold, inert person who is occasionally very explosive. Those tendencies have been a little modified, but they're there. Someone like that is NOT good mother material.

Trust me when I say that first 19 is the beginning of adulthood but you are not yet an adult. And second of all when you are 25 or 30 you'll be quite a different person with different needs and desires than you are now at 19. I resemble nothing very little of what I did at 19 in terms of desires and life outlook.

Cold, inert person I'm sorry but I just had to LOL.

When you are 30 you'll laugh at the fact that you wrote that.

 

[visceral_instinct]

By assuming their role in society and staying home.
Pursuing knowledge is not what they are after. You can learn at home. They're on a power trip.

But there is an alternative, which has become available in the past years and I think will be a strong tendency for the future, which is IT. It allows you to work from remote, so you can stay at home and still have a career.

I would not want to do that, it would drive me crazy.

 

[mike47]

By assuming their role in society and staying home.
Pursuing knowledge is not what they are after. You can learn at home. They're on a power trip.

But there is an alternative, which has become available in the past years and I think will be a strong tendency for the future, which is IT. It allows you to work from remote, so you can stay at home and still have a career.

With all due respect staying at home is something of the past . Women and men need to study, work and be free and independent .

 

[visceral_instinct]

Trust me when I say that first 19 is the beginning of adulthood but you are not yet an adult. And second of all when you are 25 or 30 you'll be quite a different person with different needs and desires than you are now at 19. I resemble nothing very little of what I did at 19 in terms of desires and life outlook.

Cold, inert person I'm sorry but I just had to LOL.

When you are 30 you'll laugh at the fact that you wrote that.

You didn't directly answer my point. Maybe you did but I am misreading you, I do not know. When do I get to be considered an adult instead of being told 'What do you know about the inside of your own skull? You're a teen.' ?

True, we evolve and learn, but don't we have the same personality type all our life?

Maybe you just changed more than I did. I have evolved and bcome more mature as a person since, say, 12/13, but I have the same personality 'blueprint' as it were, and I want roughly the same things from my future life, I have simply become more clear about them.

And why do you think I will laugh at it?

I am emotionally detached/shallow a lot of the time. When I come out of it, it's usually to get angry about something. I think it's why I'm so addicted to adrenalin...hard to be detached when you're moving at about 30mph down an uneven hillside and might crash and break something.

 

[Mrs.Lucysnow]

You didn't directly answer my point. Maybe you did but I am misreading you, I do not know. When do I get to be considered an adult instead of being told 'What do you know about the inside of your own skull? You're a teen.' ?

True, we evolve and learn, but don't we have the same personality type all our life?

Maybe you just changed more than I did. I have evolved and bcome more mature as a person since, say, 12/13, but I have the same personality 'blueprint' as it were, and I want roughly the same things from my future life, I have simply become more clear about them.

And why do you think I will laugh at it?

I am emotionally detached/shallow a lot of the time. When I come out of it, it's usually to get angry about something. I think it's why I'm so addicted to adrenalin...hard to be detached when you're moving at about 30mph down an uneven hillside and might crash and break something.

Well no we don't express our personalities in the same way throughout our lives so the answer would be no. Is your 'personality' the same as it was when you were five or seven? What you want me to do is place a number on you're adulthood and I'm not going to do that but I will put it this way, if you were an adult it wouldn't be so important to you that other's here see you as an adult. You wouldn't feel the need to prove you're status as an adult. The fact that you think you are rigid and will not change is a sign that you are not yet an adult. Even you're description of yourself as this hard unfeeling adrenaline seeker comes across as childish.

 

[visceral_instinct]

Well no we don't express our personalities in the same way throughout our lives so the answer would be no. Is your 'personality' the same as it was when you were five or seven? What you want me to do is place a number on you're adulthood and I'm not going to do that but I will put it this way, if you were an adult it wouldn't be so important to you that other's here see you as an adult. You wouldn't feel the need to prove you're status as an adult. The fact that you think you are rigid and will not change is a sign that you are not yet an adult.

I did not say I felt the need to be seen as an adult. I simply asked when I get to have my views and self knowledge accepted instead of being told I don't know myself due to being young.

I am well aware that I don't know a lot about many things, but, I get a little sick of being told I'm too young to know anything every time I try to express an opinion.

I did not say I am rigid and will not change, either. That's your view.

 

[visceral_instinct]

Even you're description of yourself as this hard unfeeling adrenaline seeker comes across as childish.

Why? I am describing something honestly. I've always had the problem of being a little emotionally detached. Of being "not there" as it were.

I would rather not be the way I am, in fact. I don't like being so detached that I just react to someone's expression of distress with intense disgust. I'd rather naturally feel compassion like anyone else, without having to manufacture it.

Judging from your posts, you seem to insist on seeing a stereotype rather than listening to the actual content of my posts. I said that I tend towards emotional detachment and use heavy stimulation to counteract that...and you responded by assuming I was just trying to look cool. Learn not to think in stereotypes.

 

[Mrs.Lucysnow]

I did not say I felt the need to be seen as an adult. I simply asked when I get to have my views and self knowledge accepted instead of being told I don't know myself due to being young.

I am well aware that I don't know a lot about many things, but, I get a little sick of being told I'm too young to know anything every time I try to express an opinion.

I did not say I am rigid and will not change, either. That's your view.

You don't need to say it VI, you're reaction to other people's reactions displays this.

Its natural for you to be sick of being told you are too young, its natural for your age.

Adults are not told they are too young nor do they feel as if they are being overlooked as adults.

 

[shorty_37]

I don't think it's selfish. There are a lot of ppl out there that should have never had children. Some ppl just aren't parent material and it's a good thing if they realize before they reproduce.

 

[Tnerb]

It is OK VI IM SORRY do you feel better now?

 

[visceral_instinct]

You don't need to say it VI, you're reaction to other people's reactions displays this.

Its natural for you to be sick of being told you are too young, its natural for your age.

Adults are not told they are too young nor do they feel as if they are being overlooked as adults.

No - my problem is simply that when I try to express an opinion I hear, you're too young to anything.

If I am so wrong, why this excuse? If I'm wrong, I would like to know why I am wrong. 'You are young' is not an explanation.

So where do you draw this line? A 50 year old has more wisdom than a 30 year old. A 70 year old has more accumulated wisdom again. At what point do we earn the right to be heard?

 

[Tnerb]

I don't think it's selfish. There are a lot of ppl out there that should have never had children. Some ppl just aren't parent material and it's a good thing if they realize before they reproduce.

Sure, however not entirely necessary to procaim that as a threshold of which to judge them. If you said this (wat you just said) to anybody how would they react do u think?

 

[Mrs.Lucysnow]

No - my problem is simply that when I try to express an opinion I hear, you're too young to anything.

If I am so wrong, why this excuse? If I'm wrong, I would like to know why I am wrong. 'You are young' is not an explanation.

So where do you draw this line? A 50 year old has more wisdom than a 30 year old. A 70 year old has more accumulated wisdom again. At what point do we earn the right to be heard?

No one dismissed you're opinion. Everyone has discussed the OP. All I had said is that, at the moment, you cannot say what you will want later in life, maybe you will opt for not having children who knows but you insist that what you want now is what you will always want and I am saying that this is not necessarily true. Its it your sensitivity toward people saying that what you are and what you think now at 19 will change that is spurring you on not that anyone didn't acknowledge your OP or heard what you were saying.

 

[Tnerb]

Actually they didn'thear jack! VI complains too much

 

[visceral_instinct]

No one dismissed you're opinion. Everyone has discussed the OP. All I had said is that, at the moment, you cannot say what you will want later in life, maybe you will opt for not having children who knows but you insist that what you want now is what you will always want and I am saying that this is not necessarily true. Its it your sensitivity toward people saying that what you are and what you think now at 19 will change that is spurring you on not that anyone didn't acknowledge your OP or heard what you were saying.

Ah, fair enough then.

No I am open to the fact that I could possibly change when much older. I did actually say that, in the form of 'Possibly but it would take a radical change.'

I admit to being sensitive. I think it's learned though - too many people are too lazy to explain and just say 'You're too young'. So yes, I tend to be over reactive to that and sometimes see it when it may not be there....

 

[Mrs.Lucysnow]

Ah, fair enough then.

No I am open to the fact that I could possibly change when much older. I did actually say that, in the form of 'Possibly but it would take a radical change.'

I admit to being sensitive. I think it's learned though - too many people are too lazy to explain and just say 'You're too young'. So yes, I tend to be over reactive to that and sometimes see it when it may not be there....

Understood. No worries.