Absurd things Christians say...

Some ridiculous shit I have heard from Christians:

'Don't you think it would be a help to you to believe?'
(My reply: Would it be a help to me to have schizophrenia?)

'Are you a Catholic?'

No

'Are you a Protestant?'

No

'Ok, you're a Methodist.'

What's a Methodist? (my reply)

'People who believe in God'

I don't believe in God

'What? You're going to hell! You're gonna have black Xs all over your heart tissues and you'll die!'

Stupid horrid little kids...I hope they all developed leukemia...no, leukemia is too nice...I'll hope for some horrid inflammatory disease that drags on for ages and is eventually fatal.

They were the reason I ended up homeschooling as a youngster.

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

AHAHHAHAHAAHAHHA!
This officially makes my day!

Yeah, I have to say, I agree. I'm not happy unless I'm treating my "illness." And boy did I treat it the other night with Darrick.
Jesus would have blushed.... And been jealous.

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

You are lying to yourself and everyone else. Either that, or you're just plain ignorant of everything around you.

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

Wow. Hahahha. I love the propaganda effect!

 

Thank you, Q!

 

It's been so long since I've spoken with you. You should get on aim once in a while.
I hate to hear that.

 

Oh Lori, Lori... How did I know you'd show up on my thread? How?
I am more awake than yourself. Wake up and smell the evolution.

And I appreciate your honesty about your words.

 

A Christian once said to me:

Dinosaur bones have been planted by the Devil to trick and confuse good Christians into thinking that the world is older than 6000 years.

(did I mention she was hot?)

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

M

 

Change it up a bit.....

One of my favorites: Jesus loves you.(Xians can read him like a book...must be his way of saying thank you for nailing me to the barn door)

I'm particularly fond of the bumper sticker that says 'Honk if you love Jesus'. (I guess this is how you let him know you love him back)

Saying grace at McDonalds.(I didn't even need to hear what was said, only observed in jaw dropping awe)

 

No way...

 

and she practices law in NY now too! (that said, she wasn't the brightest bulb in the box so one really has to wonder....

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

)

 

Is this a nerd (edited)?

 

"or offense on the subject of faith. "
That’s a Lie and you’re a Liar.

The thread is called Absurd things "Christians" say... It was not Absurd things people say in relation to the topic of faith.

You started this thread to express your "CONVICTIONS, CONCLUSIONS, BELIEFS" and your "EVIDENCE's" of the absurd things Christians say.

It is you who started this thread as an anti-Christian "crusade", hypocrite.


All Praise The Ancient of Days

 

You misinterpret my use of the word, and if you haven't noticed, I've been assulted from people like yourself moreso than I've directly assulted others....

And I am a liar. I mean, I could say otherwise, but I'm just a little more honest with myself than that.
You're a liar too. So is everyone else who ever lived.

And your foundation begins to crumble....

And saying that I'm trying to start a "crusade" against Christians is silly. That they are all so misguided is enough for me to sit back and watch happily. Any atheist will tell you something along those lines.

I guess you missed the part of my OP that said I was going to make a thread on the absurd things atheists say, so don't get your feelings hurt..?

Yeah, so. Thouroughly de-bunked. Moving on.

 

Aren`t Christians supposed to refrain from swearing?

 

That's not a bad idea. I mean, look what Christianity has turned you into, a raving lunatic. Wouldn't you want to get rid of that which ails you?

 

"the very foundation of science is ignorance."

- Sciforums Christian

 

If there were no ignorance, there would be no need for science. Do you plan to argue that? I'd love to hear it.

Also if there were no sin, there would be no need for science. One, communion with god would be restored...the creator of all things investigated. Two, there would be no suffering, sickness, or death. Third, there would be no sloth, gluttony, greed, and wrath, which science serves so well. And fourth, we had everything we needed to survive. What do you need to live? Food, shelter, companionship? How much science does it take to achieve that? Zero. God provides.

Science is ensuring our oblivion right now.

 

The most absurd thing I've ever heard a false christian say is "god hates fags".

 

I agree, if we weren't ignorant that we wouldn't need science.
But the rest of that Jesus-filth... Whatever.

Arguing with you is like prayer... Absolutely pointless and useless.

But you make for wonderful examples for my thread!