How to handle mansplaining

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Magical Realist, Nov 7, 2016.

  1. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    So, in light of the above, you can say that this could be an example of mansplaining, particularly if your wife already knows what an alternator does, and already understands the concept of doing the work yourself as opposed to paying somebody else to do it.

    If your aim in the conversation is to demonstrate your superior knowledge of alternators to your wife, assuming that women generally don't know much about cars, then you might be mansplaining.
     
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  3. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    Another good definition:

    Mansplain (v.): to delight in condescending, inaccurate explanations delivered with rock-solid confidence of rightness and that slimy certainty that of course he is right, because he is the man in the conversation.
    Example: A man explaining to a female neuroscientist that "there are molecules in the brain called neurotransmitters", not bothering to investigate whether she already knows this, or whether she may, in fact, know far more about the topic than he does.
     
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  5. Bowser Life is Fatal. Valued Senior Member

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    I'm just trying to understand where the line is drawn. Is there a parallel word? Such as "Shesplaining"? Or do we just call that "Nagging"?
     
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  7. Tiassa Let us not launch the boat ... Staff Member

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    Mod Hat ― Show decent respect

    Bowser, we do not believe you are so ignorant that you cannot tell the difference between interrupting someone and answering a question.

    Furthermore, had you attended the topic post, you would already know that "mansplaining" does not refer to "simply addressing the question or giving information".

    Here's the problem:

    Proposition: We are discussing [this idea].

    Bowser: What is [this other idea over here]?​

    No. We do not accept your change of subject. Stay on topic. You have now received as much of a warning as you are going to get.
     
  8. Bells Staff Member

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    Let's just imagine your wife just replaced the alternator because it stopped working and you then come in and explain it's function, how to replace it and tell her why her doing it herself is less expensive... In short, let's just imagine you treat your wife like she is a complete idiot and you take to offering your opinion and explaining things to her that she already knows, understands and is probably better at than you, or you take to interrupting her when she speaks, to explain to her what she is actually talking about... that would be mansplaining.

    Really dude?

    How many people have to explain this to you?

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  9. Beer w/Straw Transcendental Ignorance! Valued Senior Member

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    Um, you posted that because?

    :EDIT:

    Or maybe you shouldn't answer.
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2016
  10. birch Valued Senior Member

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    There are some really strange things men say to women such as repeating over and over the same story they told you yesterday as if you dont know. Its very annoying and shows how self-involved they are. Its rude as if you are supposed to react with an 'aha, really?' each time.

    As for mansplaining though, women as well as men can do it too. Its usually out of ignorance and underestimating or assuming the other doesnt know. The part that is most annoying isnt so much the condescension which can be seriously violating if its done in public using you as fodder by denigrating you for the express purpose to show off or stroke their ego. The most annoying aspect is if you are in a captive audience moment and have to listen to shit you already know and want to nod off or tell them to shut up because they are boring you to death and tedious.
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2016
  11. Beer w/Straw Transcendental Ignorance! Valued Senior Member

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    Yes, the 1% should get as much air time as the 99%.

    You don't even know what you're talking about..
     
  12. iceaura Valued Senior Member

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    Unlikely, in the extreme.

    It's possible that you only recognized that something was wrong once in your whole life, but the only way you didn't see it a few times a year is if you were some kind of hermit.
    There is no parallel common and accepted social kink. Women who act like that toward men are not tolerated unless they are signing your check.
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2016
  13. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    +1 I'm a sucker for a good flow chart.

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  14. Beer w/Straw Transcendental Ignorance! Valued Senior Member

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    But if you don't respond to me, it means you are a coward.

    Oh, served in the marines did you, I'm so impressed.
     
  15. Beer w/Straw Transcendental Ignorance! Valued Senior Member

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    I'm waiting.

    You're so a big man to prove me wrong - about everything.
     
  16. Confused2 Registered Senior Member

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    I would admit that alcohol can 'cloud' my judgement. Anyone want to call me a liar? A pretty face also 'clouds' my judgement. Pretty faces have cost me thousands and thousands of pounds and wasted years of my lfe. If 'mansplaining' is all you have to worry about then you're lucky.
     
  17. GeoffP Caput gerat lupinum Valued Senior Member

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    How would this man possibly know this? Should he ask, in each instance? How could you advance this concept to me, having no sense of whether I have, in fact, been exposed to far more situations concerning this than yourself? It's an absolutely absurd standard of discourse. If you want to call it condescension, then that's the term for it. The creation of a sexist label then enjoins the use of the countervailing womansplaining. Let's employ the standard above: if a woman explains to me - an actual medical and evolutionary biologist, here - the range of local vaccines available and their etiological basis, should I be similarly offended in the same manner on basis that she clearly must assume that I don't know such things, as I'm male? This actually came up last week. Similarly, the wife asked me just an hour or two ago where I was taking our eldest for a see-to about his wrist. I said where. She proceeded to cite off their hours, as if I had not taken him to the same clinic two weeks ago. Is this then womansplaining? Where should we end our assumptions, then?

    And greetings, by the way.
     
  18. Beer w/Straw Transcendental Ignorance! Valued Senior Member

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    Are you also making shit up? No paragraphs either?
     
  19. iceaura Valued Senior Member

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    So how would you describe the situation involved in the OP, and commonly referred to as "mansplaining" - what standards would you use?

    It beggars belief that you haven't noticed the pattern, in the general society and in your own circles.
     
  20. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    GeoffP:

    If in doubt, try referring to the handy flow-chart, above.
     
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  21. exchemist Valued Senior Member

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    Geoff, I think it is undeniable that the phenomenon of condescension of men towards women, based on assuming a low level of knowledge on the part of the women, especially on technical matters, is a real thing. I have seen it at work often enough, over my working life. I have also seen some boobytraps sprung by women, which were rather funny to watch. I once had a very pretty and charming blonde girlfriend who was a refinery technologist and an engineer. She used to let the man deliver his patronising explanation and then effortlessly demonstrate in her reply that she knew far more about than he did. It was one way she earned respect on the refinery - nobody did that twice to her. (The first time I went to her house, she was changing the clutch plate on her car, by herself - all torn jeans and engine oil. Car bores used to get caught out by her with regularity.)

    Whether we really need a term "mansplaining" is more doubtful. However I see it as a good-natured joke by women at the expense of men, and take it in good part. We have our jokes about them, after all, to do with shoes, their delusions about multi-tasking and so on.
     
  22. wellwisher

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    Another way to look at this is, in a world of PC correct office behavior, geared toward handcuffing men (women are never handcuff based on what the consensus of men see as problems), mansplaining is a way to interact with women, while avoiding human resources. If a guy goes up to a woman, at the office and says want to go for a ride in his sports car; making himself look bigger, she if off to human resources saying to made a suggestive comment. If he is mansplains to her, he tries to show himself being good at something. This is annoying, but she won't she-complain to human resources since this is not yet part of PC.

    Women are smart and can learn anything, but they are not as good at thinking outside the box. Women are social animals and thinking outside the box can place you in social isolation, which women would prefer avoid. Sometime mansplaining is about the view from the outside. This view may not be with the program or be considered good social protocol, but all innovative ideas begin this way. Mansplaining can add data from the outside, that is not part of her equation, even if her equation balances based on good inside the box data.
     
  23. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    wellwisher:

    Pointing out that this happens doesn't stop (some) men doing it. So, it's hardly handcuffing anybody.

    Examples?

    Are you trying to justify mansplaining on the basis that it allows men to treat women as less-than-human objects? And you think that's fine, do you?

    This kind of generalisation is sexist nonsense, based on some brand of misogynistic pop-psychology.

    Mansplaining can place you in social isolation, too. I suppose that doesn't both (some) men.

    I don't think you "get" what mansplaining is. There's no data being added when the woman already knows more than the man concerned. See definitions above.
     

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