Jeeves' Theory of Aging

Discussion in 'Pseudoscience' started by Jeeves, Jun 7, 2019.

  1. Jeeves Valued Senior Member

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    As we live and grow older, the increasing mass of our experience compresses the time around us. You have no doubt noted the phenomenon of the shrinking summer, the shrinking hour, etc. Where time is sufficiently compressed, it collapses into microscopic black holes, which then surround and follow us around, sucking up random material objects, such as eyeglasses and single socks, as well as ephemera, such as names, book titles, anniversary dates and passwords. Once the individual's time has been compressed to its limit, all these tiny black holes coalesce and consume his entire mind.
     
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  3. sweetpea Valued Senior Member

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    In this theory would conception be taken to be a microscopic white hole?
     
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  5. DaveC426913 Valued Senior Member

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    I read a reasonable explanation of time compression over aging.

    When you're young, every thing is new. First love, first car, first fight, first job, first house, first baby, etc.
    As you age, the time between notable events stretches into years and even decades.
    It's not hard to go many years at the same job, with the same SO, in the same house.
    So, when I try to remember some smaller event, I can't pin it down with much accuracy to before/after a specific milestone in my life.

    But I like yours better.
     
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  7. Thus Spoke Registered Senior Member

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    No.

    You’ve spent your entire life trying to figure out ways just to pass the time. You’ve gotten so good at it that now time passes you by.
     
  8. sideshowbob Sorry, wrong number. Valued Senior Member

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    I've heard something like that but in terms of fractions. If you tell a two-year-old that Christmas is a year away, that's a half a lifetime. But to us old codjers, it's such a small fraction of a lifetime that two or three of them will go by before we notice.

    I like the black hole theory too.
     
  9. Jeeves Valued Senior Member

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    Conception isn't in this theory, because, frankly my dear, i don't give a damn about it.
     
  10. Asexperia Valued Senior Member

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    It is a regrettable situation. Not even the smallest ray of light emerges, as an idea particle.
     

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