Sciforums Poetic Parodies.

Okay so the problem is that I don't know any poetry at all. It's hard for me to do a parody of something I don't know. I know some songs and could do a parody of one of those maybe, but it seems a little off (like my lil mini non-parody poem above) since this is poetic parodies, not song parodies. I suppose it could be argued that songs are poetic?

 

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Yes... try the theme to Gilligan's Island or some such...

 

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Well I can't do that now! Hehe.. you rooned it!

I'll find something nice.

 

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Actually wes, songs became fair game in here long, long ago.
That being said feel free.

Or in keeping with the theme:

Wesmorris knows not of poetical verse
And in here, he thinks that a curse,
But parody a song
and we'll move right along
with no one thinking the worse.

 

I came to the forum a young man
Sure of my ideas
Sure of my language
I came to know the language of the forum
While begging questions in General Philosophy
Or ad-hom'ing in WE&P
But as I understood better
I wondered what words I was using.
When I begged questions was I question-begging or chicken-and-egging?
When I ad-hom'ed was I homineming or homonyming?
I find my grasp bewildering on fallacy and Latin...
Would God I were General George Patton.

 

BUTTFUCKING BEAUTIFUL.


No reason to say "buttfucking"- only being colorful for this cozy domicile we're patching up again.


A thread dies
and here lies
the many reasons to bring it back again. My Lazarus.


Goodnight.

 

I bet myself 3 dollars, 3 cents
the fat bitch would get off my light absorbing spear.
A week, and she's back.
I bet myself 2 dollars, 2 cents
the fat bitch would realize she's got too many short circuited neurons in the head.
2 minutes, and she's back to square one.

A gargoyle she calls moi.
A poodle she calls spock.
ayes ayes, she calls Wraith.
A fat bitch self drunk on an imaginary throne whilst sipping 3 dollar, 3 cent 40's from the liquor store is hating.
You had twenty bloody pages to let out your hatred, and you still quiver for more?

I am g-e-n-d-a-n-k-e-n, and I am a self hating, attention seeking, spiteful, dimwitted, fragile woman.

I bet 1 dollar, 1 cent, the fat bitch would stop throwing the hed's name around.
three months, and thirteen "forgettable"s later, I have lost 6 dollars and 6 cents.

Woman, get the fuck off my dick.

 

Me & my knife
We're always together
It helps me reach farther
I protect it from the weather
It tells me how to do things
I tell it what's happening
Sometimes I cut myself
Sometimes it needs sharpening
To throw it away shan't be what I wish
For I'd just end up like a sumo wrestler on TV karate-chopping a fish.

So I came upon a sausage
All laying on the ground
I set about investigating
That which I had found
To see what it's made of
You can't sit there hopin' it
Will tell you what you wanna know
So you gotta open it
That's what knife tells me
And I've got no interest in the crap that anybody else sells me.

So knife and I cut it open
Inside was pinkish grey
A colour so eraserlike
I hadn't much to say about the
Things that it communicated
Shades so dim
Couldn't be all of it so I
Went out on a limb and I
Decided I'd cut it some more
To find some section or division within it that would be less of a bore.

Lengthways - baloney.
Sideways - baloney.
Crossways - baloney.
(sharpen sharpen sharpen)
Sagittal - baloney.
Transverse - baloney.
Angleways - baloney.
(sharpen sharpen sharpen)

Gave up on that sausage
Me and my knife
Don't want to cut it
Me whole darn life
Can't be so careful with
The knife edge only
'Cause any way you cut that thing
Ya only gets balonley.
So calling me a quitter would be just unfair
'Cause knife says that it doesn't matter how you cut nearly so much as where.

 

Greetings mindfellows:

No matter where, no matter who, so long as you've posted I bow down to you.



Expect me soon, would you?

 

Riddle me this, riddle me that,
what do you call a nincampoop running in circles around the hole he wants to piss on because his dick is too small to show the world?
Too many cowards pollute this piece.
Jump out of your skin, it's dry and dead.

 

Without Lenin <--- I think you can guess where this is going and where it came from
-------------

"Lenin, Marx; real names no gimmicks..."

Two Russian natives go run to Moscow
run to Moscow run to Moscow

Guess who's back? Back again
Lenin's back, tell Truman
Guess who's back, guess who's back,
Guess who's back. Guess who's back...

I created a system, cuz nobody wants to
See freedom no more they want equal
I killed the czar
cause if you want equal then this is what I'll give ya
Lots of vodka mixed with Russian hardcore prono
Some propoganda that will shut down your brain
Then some needed sleep as I work this place over
By the Stalin now you'll be cooperating
While your master is whipping your ass cause you ain't working "drunk!"
Find the Anastasia to end the pain
Well I'm back and she's dead now Russia aint the same
I know you got to work little man
Now you're all equal and you're gonna earn your bread

So the KGB won't let ya be
or let you be you don't bother me
They tried to shut Joe down in USA
But it feels so empty without me
So put the hammer in your hands
Raise that red flag on high
Chew on some grits and get ready
This work is about to get heavy
I just knocked off all royalty, "Fuck You Alex!"

Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy
CUz it feels so empty without me

Mister Hitler's kid's feeling a bit scoff
Embaressed, his parents could have named him Adolf
He starts feeling repressed one ball less
'Til power comes along on a mission and yells 'REICH!"
A visionary, vision is scary, could start a revolution
Rasputin sees all the trouble come
Yet still I just revel and bask
In the fact I got everyone kissing my ass
And filled with sick cancer it spreads to all I see
You're a commie, you're tired, weary yet you still ask for more
Well here's more and it just might kill ya
Get out the tractor and sow the field
The wood splits into your skin now a splinter
Now work with the animals get ready for winter
Russia's changed a lot, the best thing since Pol Pot
Infesting in your kids ears and nesting
Testing "All heil me please"
Feel the tension soon as someone mentions me
Here's my six pense my 2 cents ain't free
An order, who sent, you sent for me

Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
Cuz we don't need damn democracy
Cuz it feels so empty without me

 

Voices In My Head <---- inspired by the movie Identity
------------------

You think I might be quite unstable
And you've read so many big books
But still I cannot see
If the unstable one is me
How come you are clawing out your eyeball?
Oh that's me...

You think that just because I talk to myself
That my brain is now losing connections
But I know, every smell and taste and texture
Is to me, is a figment, of my mind

I know the only people who do exist
Are those who talk inside which do compel
And if you would listen very carefully
You will learn they want you dead as well as I

Have you ever heard a woman scream bloody murder?
Or asked the grinning mad man why he grins?
Can you free me from the voices deep inside me
Have you talked with all the voices in my head
Have you talked with all the voices in my head

Come untie these chains that surround and bound me
Come listen to the child you have tortured
A symphony of sadness that's unnerving
Come closer to make this sad man smile wide

The father and the excop are my brothers
The hooker and fiance are my friends
And we all are connected to each other
In a mind that is twisted but I'm fine

How far gone can a crazy man go?
Pop some pills and you may not ever know
And you'll never hear the sound of one ripped limb from limb

For whether you laugh or help to control
You need to talk with all the voices deep inside me
Or you will never live to tell another soul

You can shove a mouth with pills
But the mind is restless still
You must talk with all the voices in my head

 

That boy:

And riddle me slow and riddle me hard
That boy has nothing on this bard

What do you call a suckfly on the rag? An ugly man on his period
A cocky monster with crabs
That now and then's made delirious
By the colorful ploys of her jabs......


Muhahhahha.............


KalvinB:

Allright already, nice to see you, now shutup.

 

No no I insist, you first.

 

surely you can do better than crap.

 

KalvinB:

Impossible.

Now.Shoo.


Fboy:

Covering sores, are you? You and your bandaids.

Spur of the moment, my liege. Even at leisure I can spin gold.

 

gend,
nope no sores. Your "poem" was indeed crap. Try again, and put some bloody effort into it.

 

Lick my crack, mac. I put effort where effort warrants.


If your tripe was a horse, they'd shoot it.

 

To gendanken:

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Are you always this pathetic or just on special occasions?

Ben

 

Love coat:

Love, expecting a spew.
Come on whore, we're injecting you.
Love, life's sticky for sure.
Be a ho, and you'll get your goo...
The love coat, soon will be taking another plunge
The love coat, promises coming for everyone
Set your pants for erection,
Your shlong on a new sweet ass
Love, will get down on the floor
It's some open legs, on an easy whore...

The love coat, soon will be taking another plunge
The love coat, promises coming for everyone
Set your pants for erection,
Your shlong on a new sweet ass
Love, will get down on the floor
It's some open legs, on an easy whore...
It's LOVE! It's LOVE! It's LOVE!
It's the Love Coat-ah! It's the Love Coat-ah!