that is a rather odd post. see the humanist approach is to give everybody respect. its not something you earn but what you are born with. an individual could only lose ones respect or gain more of. each person base as an individual. to quantify individuals into a group and judge them on the bases of there group is akin to racism. this is a concept that is far easier to preach than to practice but, one needs to start somewhere.
Best comment! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! For those who voted it is bad, that's how we raise the whiny-pussy generation with the quarter life crisis and suicide tendencies. By the way the original question is incomplete because it begs the question, why? For certain behaviour, obviously yes....
Since I don't believe in the first, so the second isn't assault, right? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Also, if a child lies, that is fraud, correct?
I agree. While I don't think that the substance of human life is pain and suffering, I do believe that we have become so unreasonably soft and coddled that we have no concept of what it is like to truly live difficult lives. And though I think that corporal punishment is a personal thing (no single rule will fit all children), I do not think that spanking is inherently malicious. Humans are drifting into a state of social entropy and I can't for the life of me understand why we are drifting, willingly, into it. Part of ALL punishments embody pain (a teenager feels social pain when they are grounded, a kid feels emotional pain when a parent scolds them), why have we gotten to this unreasonable point where we're adopting a fixed rule that applies to all situations? Why this arbitrary decision that social and emotional pain-giving is okay, but physical pain is not? Parents tread every moment on the "slippery slope" where too much of anything can become abuse. To say that corporal punishment is just too dangerous but grounding isn't is an odd sort of selectivism. (Ever hear of social neglect? Do you know what a kid grows up to be who was grounded and/or isolated for most of their childhood?) At the end of the day, some kids need to be spanked to get a lesson through to them. To deny parents the right to decide which is appropriate is to make every parent suffer for the abuses of bad parents. What next, do we also take away the rights of parents to scold their kids because some parents are emotionally abusive too? Do we criminalize grounding because of what social isolation, in the extreme, has done to certain kids of abusive parents? The answer is: no. You don't. You deal with abusive parents on a case by case basis. Life is not perfect. Humans aren't perfect. This obsession with creating a perfect, cushy and antiseptic society is patently insane. And if we've become so incapable of just accepting human flaws and dealing with them individually then we're truly done for. ~String
My parents spanked me, and I turned out swell. Of course, I also slapped their asses into nursing homes as early as the courts would let me. "Have fun on 'Silly Hat Day,' Dad! Hope you didn't need that 'dignity' you were sporting." Payback's a bitch. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
It would appear that spanking has become such an acceptable form of punishment in society, people have lost all concept of what is truly taking place here, and the justifications they present. Yes Virginia, there is a difference between physical violence and talking. And if you're going to justify "whiny-pussy generation with the quarter life crisis and suicide tendencies" or "unreasonably soft and coddled" or "perfect, cushy and antiseptic society" as the result of talking, then we truly are as a society, hypocrites. I seriously doubt though, that those justifications aren't anything more than anecdotal. Or, they are the result of other forms of bad parenting. Nonetheless, while on one hand, we would have people lobbying to make sure we talk instead of turn to violence to settle disputes or discipline someone, and the other hand those people would promote spanking children to settle disputes or discipline. What you would "believe" you are teaching a child a lesson of discipline by spanking them is furthest from the child's mind, who only knows one thing, YOU are hitting them. Do they, in their young minds, co-relate the lesson you are teaching them, to that of being hit? Does it really matter? The child is focusing primarily on being hit and they are learning that hitting is a perfectly acceptable alternative to talking. That IS the lesson learned, and no amount of talking is going to change that at this point. The damage has been done. Bells is currently dealing with such fallout with her kids. Is her story special? No, it is inevitable. What are the results of talking? 1) Trust and respect 2) Apprehension and fear What are the results of spanking? 1) Trust and respect 2) Apprehension and fear Is spanking a short term solution? Perhaps, but it has long term effects, mostly negative. Is talking a short term solution? No, it requires work and is a long term project. Are there right things to say and wrong things to say? Sure there is, and plenty of it is available to parents so that they have informed discussions with their children. Talking IS the only alternative, folks. To justify spanking as the alternative is antithetical and hypocritical to every reasonable and rational person's worldview that I've ever read here.
It's not a lesson that needs to come from a parent, though. The worst behaved kids I've known, boy and man, were all spanked more than average. There are good and bad parents who hit, good and bad parents who don't. As a general rule, can we agree that a bad parent who hits their kids is worse than a bad parent who doesn't hit, and a good parent who hits is not quite as good as a good parent who doesn't ? The problem is that kids vary, and it takes truly superior abilities - dog whisperer type understanding and experience - to be a good parent without hitting, in the case of some kids. Meanwhile, even a casual foray into the world of sexual deviance will show the observer that there are some consequences of spanking to be considered aside from short term improvements in behavior.
And I would claim the exact opposite. No. Can you see how this contradicts what you just said above? Now you're getting riduculous. People will sexualize anything. Shit, Piss, Feet, Wearing diapers, smoking, being fat, being skinny, teachers, nurses, ANYTHING. That doesn't imply there's anything sexual or wrong in the act itself, just that people are so obsessed with sex that they'll turn anything into a sex game.
what is a bad parent? a bad parent could be one that does nothing. what is a good parent? a good parent could be one who spoils the child. either could give you one rotten kid. up until about 30 years ago kids were spanked. weve got some great people from the last 200 years (as well as some bad) but i am seeing more and more spoiled people coming into the work place. they are all in the less than 30 age group. i know they are the ones that came from educated parents. the ones that thought they were going to change the world and do things differently. all they have created is children that feel they are entitled. it keeps getting worse some schools are now not even giving detention to students. its like letting the inmates run the asylum. i despise child abuse.
That's why people have siblings. I don't think it's healthy to be spanked. I would have grown up feeling incredibly violated and a lot of rage in me.
And no, I'm not one of the whiny pussy generation. I don't believe in no discipline. But there are appropriate ways to punish a child and physical violence is NOT one of them.
I can't speak for my dog because I don't know how he feels he's never told me, but I can speak for myself. I don't live in a constant state of apprehension around my parents I don't hate them and I never viewed them as only a food supply, either. I have a great deal of respect for both of my parents, whether they know it or not. I got spanked as a small child and never had to be punished again. I never got grounded or had any privledges taken away as a teenager. When I was little my mother used to threaten to hit me in the mouth if I "back talked" her or gave a "smart remark" so then I didn't do it for fear of being hit, now I don't do it because I know it to be disrespectful. I'm not afraid of my mother hitting me anymore. So if you have another word for it then so be it, but I think that's a prime example of fear becoming respect. Personally I don't think its any different no matter what form of discipline is used. Most kids are good because they fear their parent's wrath whether that be time out, loosing their video games, or whatever... Do parent-child relationships have different motivating factors that govern behavior? I think they do, but maybe some people are still afraid of their parents hitting them.
Did she take care not to disrespect you? I doubt it. Most people give out to their kids for talking to them in an angry voice, yet would not think of making the same rule for themselves. It's not teaching them respect in general, it's just teaching them not to piss you off.
I think if my mother hit me I'd use the switchblade I use for cleaning my nails. Not that she would, but if she was that type, I'd be in jail.
I cant recall the last time she said it to me I was 5 years old. And I know I was afraid of her hitting me when I was little. So even if I wasn't sure why I knew that talking back to adults was not okay. The reason of why it wasn't okay was a bit above my comprehension at the time. All I needed to know was that you don't do that. As I got older I learned that it was disrespectful to behave like that and unless you wanted to be disrespectful on purpose then you don't talk back to adults or authoritative figures. So as I got older it became more about not disrepecting my mother than it was about my fear of being hit.
Thats quite a violent thought. I would never hit my mother back if she hit me. Unless she had gone crazy and was attacking me for some reason, but even then I would still be very reserved about it. Another one of those things my mother would not tolerate. I wouldn't hit her back for the same reason that I don't "talk back".
I got a little violent stuff in my veins all right. And if someone hits you, you should hit em back. Being your mother doesn't give her the right to smack the crap outa you.
