The Lighter Side...

Discussion in 'Religion Archives' started by truestory, Sep 29, 1999.

  1. truestory Registered Senior Member

    A man was laying on the grass, taking it easy, looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God...

    "God," he said, "how long is a million years?"

    God answered, "In my frame of reference, it's less than a minute."

    The man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars?"

    God answered, "To me, it's about a penny."

    The man then asked, "God, can I have a penny?"

    God answered, "In a minute."

    Have a great day!
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  3. Mock Registered Member


    Thanks for the laugh. May I ask you however, the incident you mentioned in another topic group, about your late mother`s appearing to you with the message for your relative. Was this glimpse into the afterlife what made you believe in Christ, and God? I hope you don`t think I`m nosy, I am genuinely interested. And then, has this experience not stimulated any interest in NDE`s ?
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  5. truestory Registered Senior Member

    Hello Mock,

    No problem. I am happy to answer your questions.

    I cannot point to any one particular experience which "made" me believe in Christ and God. I have had many experiences in my life which, cumulatively, have cultivated my belief in Christ and God. I had a personal NDE which was unlike most that are reported. Instead of a light tunnel, guiding relatives, etc... I visited hell.
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  7. Flash Registered Senior Member

    Could you please tell about your visit
    to hell?
  8. truestory Registered Senior Member

    During my visit to hell, I saw souls which were condemned to an eternal state of misperception (and loneliness). The souls which I saw were placed in a world (which they did not yet realize was hell) with the (mis-)understanding that all they had to do was accomplish a certain task to reach heaven. In actuality, the task was quite simple, however, their state of misperception caused them to see things in a way that caused them to approach the task in a way which would prevent them from ever actually accomplishing the stated goal. When I realized what was going on, that these poor souls would be in such a tormented state for all eternity unless someone told them the truth, I yelled out the reality of the situation to them but they still did not understand. They truly beliieved that what they "saw" was the way things really were. I was in a panic when I realized that they would NEVER, EVER know the truth - that they would NEVER, EVER know God if they continued to mis-perceive their situation. During my second attempt to reason with these souls, I was zapped back. I woke up feeling extremely helpless and very sad for the souls which I was unable to help. I also experienced fear for any soul (including mine) that might be condemned to such a place for all eternity. This was 24 years ago.

    [This message has been edited by truestory (edited October 06, 1999).]
  9. truestory Registered Senior Member

    Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac?

    He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a dog.

    What's the best thing about having pagan friends?

    They worship the ground you walk on.

    What do you call thirteen witches in a hot tub?

    A self-cleaning coven.

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