Tiassa said:It might be a good thing if paternity tests were a routine part of childbearing.
I had the same thought. Perhaps hospitals should make it routine to perform a paternity test just after the birth.
Tiassa said:It might be a good thing if paternity tests were a routine part of childbearing.
Roman said:
You seem to have a weird theory that kids are about pride, Tiassa.
Explain to me how any of the following:
# a feeling of self-respect and personal worth
# satisfaction with your (or another's) achievements; "he takes pride in his son's success"
# the trait of being spurred on by a dislike of falling below your standards
# a group of lions
# be proud of; "He prides himself on making it into law school"
# unreasonable and inordinate self-esteem (personified as one of the deadly sins)
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
has to do with being responsible for someone else's children?
Perhaps. But in my corner of the Universe (e.g., Pacific northwestern United States), "genetic legacy" isn't as important as some masculinists would make it out to be. I know disparate people, from my own parents to those of childhood friends, to an insurance salesman in his sixties, psychologists, a Seventh-Day Adventist who worked as a prison guard and eventually finished his Masters' degree in education, a concrete worker who is also a meth user, and many others to whom biological legacy is secondary to familial bonds and, if we must inject pride into the matter, social legacy.
So maybe my outlook on pride and parenthood is weird to you, but it's hardly unique in my area.
The obvious answer is that the children have sixteen years of developing their social bonds around a certain reference point. And the welfare of minors is necessarily a higher priority than the pride of their parents.
If, somehow, that misses your intention, please state the question more clearly.
That's just it though. Children have extreme value, and it's because they are the continuation of our genes. That's precisely why we all have such hardons for "children" in general (poor choice of words noted - why society is obsessed with the value of children). They're the reason anyone does anything, we all are solely driven to pass on our genes. Even gay people are working off breeder instincts while being oblivious to the fact there's no point to their existence. Why do they do themselves up to look nice? to show off their genes to attract mates to breed. Their mutated instincts cause problems with certain steps in that sequence, but instinctually passing on one's gene's is the sole driving force behind every little thing anyone does.Children have greater value than a man's pride.
That's just it though. Children have extreme value, and it's because they are the continuation of our genes. That's precisely why we all have such hardons for "children" in general (poor choice of words noted - why society is obsessed with the value of children). ... Are you kidding? It's a HUGE disgrace of epic proportions, fundamentally understanding life on earth makes this fact undeniable.
Bells said:What of the child?
Imagine a child growing up for 12 or so years (as one example), believing that the man he called "Dad", was his father. The father also believes the same. They love each other. To the man, the boy is his son and to the boy, the man is his father. The father has paid for the child's upbringing since his birth. The father and mother divorce and during the divorce, the man finds out the child is not biologically his. Is it right for that man, a parent to that child for 12 years, to suddenly tell the child 'well you're not mine so I don't need to care for you anymore'? What of the child in this instance?.
Uggggghhh. The 'Think of the children' ideology has been repeated numerous times on this thread, so don't worry, we *haven't* forgotten the child.
It is clearly and distinctly not the faux-father's responsibility as explicitly proven by infallible DNA testing? That's the child- it's well being, both physically and emotionally, is decidedly not the man's responsibility.What of the child in this instance?
It is clearly and distinctly not the faux-father's responsibility as explicitly proven by infallible DNA testing? That's the child- it's well being, both physically and emotionally, is decidedly not the man's responsibility.
The "think of the child" argument fails for that reason, it is officially not his child, so why would the man be roped into any concerns regarding said child? It's not that it's not unfortunate and sad for the child, ofcourse it is, but that fact is just as much wilt chamberlain's (or whoever's) concern as it is the man in question.
Hasn't he suffered enough? It actually would be less despicable to bring in a new random man to carry the burden. If we're going to be making dudes raise kids that aren't theres, at least get a few men to work in shifts so that no individual has to waste their whole life. Why continue to punish and humiliate the man who has already embarrassingly raised someone elses child?
Some fat cuckoo motherfucker, realistically we should kill his child, raising it into adulthood is merely encouraging his inexcusable behaviour.
Really? That's funny, because all I'm seeing in this thread are people more concerned about the weight of their wallets than about parental responsibility. Tell me C66, does parental responsibility end when you find out after 12 or so years that the child you loved, supported, cared for, were a parent to, is not biologically yours? Can you switch off that quickly? Could you tell that child to bugger off and stop caring for them because your ex decided to hurt you in a divorce proceeding?copernicus66 said:Uggggghhh. The 'Think of the children' ideology has been repeated numerous times on this thread, so don't worry, we *haven't* forgotten the child.
Deadbeat dads are motherfuckers, you are the one trying to pardon them by making other random guys take on their responsibilities.So responsibility and care should and does only apply when it is yours? So dead beat dads who run off and leave their children and the mother, without once sending a single cent and/or never contacts said child again.. what of them? After all, if responsibility and caring for a child should only apply if said child is yours? Dead beat parents fall where exactly in this spectrum of yours?
Roman said:
Where I'm from, it's always been about blood.
I got friends that, if their folks found out they weren't theirs, would probably get kicked out of the house. But then, I guess you can't be proud of a deadbeat 22 year old who dropped out of high school and still lives at home, can you?
It's not so much pride, but how it's done. Blood is responsibility. If you don't have blood between you, what have you got, promises? What's a promise made when being lied to?
I don't have kids though, maybe I'd feel differently if I had some. Somehow, I doubt it.
Cuckoldry affronts my sense as a male, I guess. Sort of nullifies the mutual mate guarding.
Dr. Lou Natic said:
They're the reason anyone does anything, we all are solely driven to pass on our genes.
This guy has dedicated his life to investing time, effort and money into offspring he believed were his, and then found out they were not.
Even if he spent no money or time on them, he should be compensated simply for the fact that he was lead to believe he didn't need to keep trying to pass on his genes, and realistically the magnitude of this deception could not concievably be rivalled by any other "crime" we could dare to dream up. He's essentially been raped and murdered as a child- depraved of his opportunity to breed and successfully raise his offspring into adulthood, a most diabolical crime has been comitted against this man, the very most base and significant crime that can be committed against a living thing.
To expect him to care for and support children he knows aren't actually his is a huge slap in the face, and makes up the "rape" element of the equation. It's nothing but humiliation and taunting to accompany the castration. To assist in the success of a rival male? Are you kidding? It's a HUGE disgrace of epic proportions, fundamentally understanding life on earth makes this fact undeniable.
Interesting. What are the adoption rates in your corner of the world?
His faith that my day will eventually come is founded in anything but blood.
In the first place, you have everything else that you have built and invested together. And if that all collapses when a the presupposition of blood proves false, what does that say of the foundation?
In matters theological, one might ask whether the Christian does good in order to impress God, or because it is the right thing to do. The same applies here: Does one do right by one's children for blood, or because it is the right thing to do?
He shouldn't be forced to do it.. he should do it because he loves the child(ren) and is a parent to that child.. just as he was prior to the discovery that it is not biologically his.
And people wonder why the guy never got a paternity test until now. Asking for one is basically calling your wife a whore. Sadly, the test may be the only way to find out!If my husband EVER asked for a paternity test on our daughter, I would tell him she's not his. She's mine. And I would walk out the door with her.
Madanthonywayne said:
So, do all you women out there want to know why so many men are assholes? It's because female infidelity ensures that not only do nice guys finish last, they don't reproduce.
It's good to have a fan.(chortle!)
That's a good one. Tell us another.