Fear.
I have a fear of
control. I don't want control, nor am I born with a sense of control, nor do I want control thrust upon me. I'm not a natural leader, but I make a pretty damn good sidekick
or a second-in-command, as long as the commander doesn't fall off a cliff or anything.
I have a
tremendous fear and love of
Nothingness. The Black Void known as Outer Space. I love to stare out at night into the sky, just thinking there's nothing out there...and I get this gut-wrenching, hollow, choking feeling every time I do. But I can't avoid it. It's so entrancing, yet terrible.
The fear of being
lost. Lost, and nowhere to go. No home. No family. Nothing familiar. Surrounded by strangers. Human-sized mazes freak me out.
The fear of
drowning. I had a traumatizing experience, where I nearly drowned due to an overly-large woman sitting on a tube. It was on the Lazy River, and traffic was extreme, so I decided to go under and swim to find a less jammed up place. Since I can hold my breath for a maximum of 2 minutes, I swam and swam under everyone. Unfortunately, there were no openings, and I had already gone too far to go back. Frantically, I began to swim, and I began to feel the awful urge to just suck in water. My vision turned blurry, and with a push I tried to break to the surface for air. Bad choice, 'cause I was directly beneath this "horizontally priviledged" lady. I finally managed to push her aside, and she gave me the EYE, only drawn out longer and more pissed off. It was rather funny.
