If you had a chance...

Cottontop3000 said:
Exactly.

Cyperium, I want there to be a god, and I want to go to hell. god can bite me, right now, with lightning if he likes.
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Allthough I don't believe everything that is said in the gospel of Barnabass, there is a notion of why Lucifer can't be saved that I read with interest.

Keep in mind the following isn't what is written in the Bible but in a gospel that was excluded from the Bible since it was considered not 100% correct (so I was told - on this site).

Here's the story:

Jesus replied: 'Verily I say unto you I had compassion on Satan, knowing his fall; and I had compassion on mankind whom he tempteth to sin. Therefore I prayed and fasted to our God, who spoke to me by his angel Gabriel: "What seekest thou, O Jesus, and what is thy request?" I answered: "Lord, thou knowest of what evil Satan is the cause,
and that through his temptations many perish; he is thy creature, Lord, whom thou didst create; therefore, Lord, have mercy upon him."

'God answered: "Jesus, behold I will pardon him. Only cause him to say, 'Lord, my God, I have sinned, have mercy upon me,' and I will pardon him and restore him to his first
state. "

'I rejoiced greatly. said Jesus, 'when I heard this, believing that I had made this peace. Therefore I called Satan, who came saying: What must I do for thee, O Jesus?"

I answered: "Thou shalt do it for thyself, O Satan, for I love not thy services, but for thy good have I called thee."

'Satan replied: "If thou desires" not my services, neither desire I thine; for I am nobler than thou, therefore thou art worthy to serve me-thou who art clay, while I am spirit."

'Let us leave this,' I said, 'and tell me if it were not well thou shouldst return to thy first beauty and thy first state. Thou must know that the angel Michael must needs on the day of judgment strike thee with the sword of God one hundred thousand times, and each blow will give thee the pain of ten hells.'

'Satan replied: "We shall see in that day who can do most; certainly I shall have on my side many angels and most potent idolaters who will trouble God, and he shall know how great mistake he made to banish me for the sake of a vile [piece of] clay."

Then I said: "O Satan, thou art infirm in mind, and knowest not what thou sayest."

Then Satan, in a derisive manner, wagged his head, saying: come now, let us make up this peace between me and God; and what must be done say thou, O Jesus, since thou art sound in mind "

I answered: "Two words only need be spoken."

Satan replied: "What words?"

I answered "These: I have sinned: have mercy on me."

'Said Satan then: Now willingly will I make this peace if God will say these words to me."

' "Now depart from me," I said, "O cursed one for thou art the wicked author of all injustice and sin, but God is just and without any sin.'

'Satan departed shrieking, and said: "It is not so, O Jesus, but thou tellest a lie to please God.'

'Now consider,' said Jesus to his disciples, 'how he will find mercy.'

They answered: 'Never, Lord, because he is impenitent. Speak to us now of the judgment of God.'
 
God would own you all and send plagues and smite you, and locusts to eat the flesh off your bones. Then not only would you suffer a physical death but then you would have to go to hell where you would know for eternity that God owned you. While you burn in a lake of fire and brimstone...

But really he'd probably not even use an ounce of energy to kill you, he'd just let you kill youself!
 
let it smite me know, come on god smite me, if he does smite me nisus I'll tell you all about tomorrow.
 
Dude Geeser quit post stalking me OMFG, and i wanna see you smite the Lord!~ But you can't touch Him!! cuz he owns u.
 
dont be a dick, post stalking, it's a public forum if you say something stupid which seems to be your goal in life, I will reply to it. so meritedly it could seem I'm stalking you, cause your such a f**king ding bat.
why would I want to smite non-existence the would be lunacy.
(duh!, I'm gonna shoot you, you dont exist, but I'm gonna shoot you anyways.)
 
Oh nos geeser thinks what I say is stupid...keep reflecting Geeser. Keep reflecting. I have you in the palm of my hand. You still have time to say your sorry and we can be friends.
 
wtf are you on.
"I see morons sometimes, and sometimes they come here."
 
Cottontop3000 said:
No monotheistic religion, or ANY religion, for that matter, makes ANY sense.
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Eh. I still find that Deism at least can put nature into it, because it's simply: a deity created the universe via the big bang (or similar catastrophe), and let things run wild. There's no wonky history-defying crap or divine-intervention bullshit.
Short, simple, easy to get. Most monotheisms make no sense, but Deism can fit with modern science perfectly.
 
Hapsburg said:
Short, simple, easy to get. Most monotheisms make no sense, but Deism can fit with modern science perfectly.
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It can, but do you think it does? That is the more important question, I think.
 
nisus : I told you yesterday that I'd let you know about being smote.
well your god smoted me, I'm dead, I'm contacting you from the grave well heaven cause he liked me.
I asked him what he thought of you, he said your one of Satans Disciples and we would'nt be seeing you up here, but not to worry, as none of this crap exists anyway.


yours newly smote
geeser






I'm going outside for a smote back in five.
 
Cottontop3000 said:
It can, but do you think it does? That is the more important question, I think.
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Yes, actually. Eventually, when studying the "big bang", you have to ask "what the fuck caused it?".
A simple answer is a deity, a deity that does nothing but just give the condensed universe a little poke, then BOOM, it happens, and he stays out of everything, and just lets nature run wild.
It's more of an easy way out of the "what caused the big bang" question, though.
Still, though, there are some logical answers to the BB thing, so I'm not a deist. I respect, them, though. I do not respect any other monotheists.
 
If, by the highly off chance that god exists, and he is benevolent deity who lets everyone into heaven regardless of belief and action, I'd lead and uprising against him, overthrow the Throne, and replace the Kingdom of Heaven with the Democratic Republic of The Heavens, modeled on Cromwell's commonwealth, even though I hate cromwell so damn much.
Of, course, there is a 99.9999999999999999999999999(endless 9's) % chance that any deity of any kind does not exist, but, hey, there's always that one little off chance waving in the breeze, hanging onto a coconut tree.
 
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