Jokes and Funny Stories II

[TheFrogger]

Very good, Benson.

...but it should've been, "Belgian waffle."

 

[wegs]

In the morning, I made a Belgium waffle.

In the afternoon, I'm going to teach a Frenchman to talk complete bollox.

lol
Best joke of the thread.

 

[Benson]

Very good, Benson.

...but it should've been, "Belgian waffle."

Thanks, amended, lol

 

[sideshowbob]

lol
Best joke of the thread.

Is there an award for the longest joke typed on a phone?

 

[Write4U]

Is it something to do with Matzes sounding like Nazis? My speaking dictionary is pronouncing Matzes as sounding like nazis.
So, if that's right, you get someone in the 'joke' calling down and thinking ''is this Nazis looking for jewish people?''

Oh, please. Read the joke again and think!

You do know what matzes (matzos) are don't you? This has NOTHING to do with Nazis or racial denegration. bah...

p.s. this was a jewish joke told by a jewish person to a jewish audience about jewish names and jewish traditional ritual foods. And it is a funny joke, but you do need a jewish sense of humor to appreciate the joke.

 

[wegs]

Is there an award for the longest joke typed on a phone?

There could be.

 

[DaveC426913]

...a jewish joke told by a jewish person to a jewish audience about jewish names and jewish traditional ritual foods.
...
you do need a jewish sense of humor to appreciate the joke.

Read the joke again and think!

:thinking so hard, becomes Jewish:

 

[Write4U]

View attachment 2660
:thinking so hard, becomes Jewish:

Feel the urge to order matzos? You don't need to be Jewish to enjoy matzos, but you have to enjoy matzos to be Jewish. It's part of Jewish life.

 

[Write4U]

Here is a dose of Jewish humor by a Jewish comedian and social observer.

 

[sweetpea]

Oh, please. Read the joke again and think!
You do know what matzes (matzos) are don't you? This has NOTHING to do with Nazis or racial denegration. bah...
p.s. this was a jewish joke told by a jewish person to a jewish audience about jewish names and jewish traditional ritual foods. And it is a funny joke, but you do need a jewish sense of humor to appreciate the joke.

I blame my speaking dictionary.

 

[DaveC426913]

Feel the urge to order matzos? You don't need to be Jewish to enjoy matzos, but you have to enjoy matzos to be Jewish. It's part of Jewish life.

But you do need to be Jewish to get the punchline of that joke!

C'mon, Spill.

 

[TheFrogger]

Yeah, I still don't get it!

 

[sideshowbob]

Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!

 

[TheFrogger]

 

[wegs]

I don't get that joke, either.

 

[Benson]

You know what I like most about Republican women?


No penis

 

[Benson]

I said Alexa, what do women want?

The damn thing has not shut up for the past three days

 

[Benson]

My wife is so fat, I took a photo of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

 

[TheFrogger]

Daniella Westbrook has no nose.

How does she smell?

 

[Benson]

Daniella Westbrook has no nose.

How does she smell?

The obligatory reply, "Terrible"