Prayer Works -- a praise report for my Christian Brethren

Woody originally said: I sent out a lot of resumes to different companies over the weeks, but one morning, I showed up at my old job, and I knew somebody read my resume that was really interested in me. I just had that feeling -- I call it supernatural perception -- I could feel it.
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M*W: That was just a coincidence -- synchronicity in the universe, if you will. You were at the right place at the right time, and it was all YOUR doing!
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Q said: He said that he woke up and had a supernatural insight that something good was going to occur, in this case, his prayers being answered.
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M*W: That was just wishful thinking!
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Woody says: Nope that's not what I said, re-read the quote.
I did not "wake up to a feeling." I was sitting at my desk at work in the morning, and I knew somebody was reading my resume that was highly interested in me.
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M*W: So, then, you are actually saying that it was YOU who had the "feeling, when you were sitting at your desk," that "somebody was reading" your "resume that was highly interested in" you! Woody, YOU are RESPONSIBLE for this WISHFUL THINKING, this CREATIVE VISUALIZATION! Give yourself credit! There is NO GOD OUT THERE that gave you this opportunity. YOU DID IT YOURSELF!!! THANK YOURSELF AND BE CONFIDENT THAT YOU HAVE ALL THE POWER YOU NEED TO CREATE YOUR OWN LIFE!
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Woody: They called in the afternoon to interview me for a job that I did not apply for.
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M*W: So what? You got the job, didn't you? Good things DO happen to people who don't expect them! Give YOURSELF credit!
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Q said: Anyone with a minushka of rationality MUST ask why that prayer was answered while so many more prayers go unanswered in regards to famine, war, disease, pestulence, etc.
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Woody said: I agree, and Christians understand the difference.

I Cor 2:14
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Q says: You actually were making a good argument, Woody, as can be seen by the many responses in this thread. But now you've lost it, completely.
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M*W: Woody, if there is a god, you were created by him. But rest assured that your own spirit has created the life you are living.
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Woody says: So you are telling me to just ignore spiritual discernment, one of God's great biblical gifts. When God tugs at my heart and tells me somebody is dieing that-I-know, you just want me to ignore Him do you. I should tell you to kiss-off Q-dude!
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M*W: Woody, the greatest 'spiritual gift' or the gift of 'discernment' was given to you by your human nature. We all have the gift of discernment, but so many people don't know it. I know I have it, and I'm the farthest thing from a xian. Our very own lives give us these gifts -- not anything else!
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Southstar says: Jesus loves good ol' South Alabama and Mississippi boys! They beat those damn slaves with their Bibles just like ever' good massa should.
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M*W: My ancestors have been there and done that. I have an ancestor in deep East Tennessee who had a thriving tobacco farm with 75 slaves. They took care of their slaves, because they were important to their tobacco crops. In East Tennessee my ancestors lived and thrived on tobacco production. They couldn't have prospered if it hadn't been for their slaves.
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Woody says: You know some of them personally?
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M*W: Well, I can't speak for Quigly, and truly, I cannot even speak for my ancestors, but in that day and time, slaves benefitted from my ancestors' crops.
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Quigly said: The problem is that he interpreted those feelings after the fact
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Woody says: not so Quigly! The perception happened before the phone call, and I was anticipating the call. I'm not bragging on that, some people get a bona fide premonition that things are about to happen.
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M*W: This is true, but one doesn't need be xian to get "premonitions that things are about to happen." One may get a good feeling or that it is going to be a good day. It's only the feeling of confidence -- not anykind of miracle!
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Woody: Take my sister for example, she was always so afraid that she would have a badly deformed child. She had this fear from the time she was about 12. The only child she had was autistic.
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M*W: Woody, this is every pregnant woman's fear. That's not unusual. Unfortunately, your sister's dwelling on this fear made it come true. Aside from biology and genetics, I do believe there is such a thing as wishful thinking. If you worry about something happening, then it will.
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Woody: For many, many years, my dad always dreaded wheelchairs. After his terrible fall he was confined to a wheelchair and he died a few weeks later.
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M*W: Wishful thinking again!
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Woody: A person just knows somethings in their bones, like my grandma that was in a coma in the rest home, my mother was in the room with her, and grandma raised up her head, smiled, and waved goodbye. Then she stopped breathing and died.
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M*W: Again, Woody, not surprising. My own mother lingered in a half vegatative state for two years but wouldn't die. Her will was strong. It was after I told her "don't be afraid to go. Daddy's waiting on you." Then I told her I loved her and she actually spoke the words, "I love you, too." Then she left. Of course, I miss her. I've grieved for two and a half years for her, but I also know she loved me and wouldn't let go until I told to. I still miss her, no doubt, but she was ready to go, but I wouldn't let her! I kept telling her to "hold on." Then I realized that she wanted me to tell her I'd be okay, and it was okay for her to leave and go be with my Daddy and her mother. She asked for them often before she died. Of course, I miss her. She wasn't a xian, neither was my Dad, but at the end, I was their higher power! They clung to their last breath waiting for me to tell them it was okay to go. Who am I? Nobody, just their only child. I have no powers or I would have saved them for my own selfish purposes. There really isn't but a fine line betwween love and death, and our loved ones wait to hear it's okay from us. There is no "god" who grants this privilege -- it's the love we have inside for those who depart.

Woody, the power comes from those whom you love, and from those who love you. Love is the only answer to the good things that you are experiencing right now. It's your love for yourself (which may be the hardest to realize). It's your wife's love for you, along with your parents and your other ancestors who would always wish the best for you. Give credit where credit is due! You are experiencing the good things that your ancestors want for you. You should appreciate their love for you and not give credit to any elusive gods there be!
 
Medicine WOman:

Please.
Shut the fuck up. Or at the very least clean your emotional drippings with quotes to make them that less offesive.

You know, like this:
Woody, we're both fucking annoying. Love, Medicine Woman
Simple.

Oops.
Oh my god.
Kidding, what's gotten into me? I'm usually so sweet.
 
Gendanken,


Pardon, but Mr. Woody here was not praying for magic.

I'm not saying Woody was praying for magic. But throughout this thread, it has been said over and over again how prayer doesn't work -- with the implied assumption that all that matters is the mere act of praying, saying some words, much like crossing your fingers. Such an approach to prayer is nothing but superstition. And then those "scientists" lump *all* examples of prayer into one heap, and, surely, come to the conclusion that "prayer doesn't work".


I mean its fine and well for you think I'm specifically talking about the dwarf who prays that god grant him inches but, sorry sweets, I'm not.

Everyone runs the danger of being that dwarf, at least from time to time.


Tell me, then.
How does it 'work' then, Water.
Enlighten me.

This is how it works:

1. God does not want to be treated like a quick-fix. If being treated so, He
will not indulge it.

2. God will refuse to do what you ask Him, if you have other gods before
Him.

3. God may not immediately give you what you have asked for. Some gifts are
such that you need to be prepared to receive them, so He prepares you first,
which may take some time.

4. You are neither wise nor stupid.

5. God won't live your life for you.
 
Everyone runs the danger of being that dwarf, at least from time to time.
But that's the point, Water.
Woody here is not being that dwarf.
He did not ask for miracles.

He got something he did not even apply for.
He got his answer and read his post- he finds it inexplicable.
Yet whatever 'answer' the man got would have been it but the one most in his favor- like so many billion others- is seen as Inexplicable.

And the inexplicable as evidence of Intervention.

2. God will refuse to do what you ask Him, if you have other gods before
Him.
If you can't even figure out exaclty what he does not refuse to do (because its all for the best, and according to you, Water, 'understandable and acceptable), how, pray tell, can you dare claim to know what he does refuse to do?
 
7 pages and counting.


We might as well discuss fellatio in here. Jesus was a cocksucking Jew anyway.

GASP!
I did it again. I really don't know what my problem is.
 
gendanken - "another really classy comment".

...

Gendanken - "shut up, I'm fun."

---
gendanken - "St. Assisi and St. Augustine prayed in terms of Y therefore Z.
I feel afraid, unsure, tempted, insecure, hopeless therefore I will pray.
Those 5 caused the 6th one."

But does 6 cause anything? I wasn't about if 6 was caused BY anything.


EDIT- the first two quotes are a statement to gendanken, not actual quotes by gendanken, in case anyone was too dense to notice that...
 
Quote w:
"When you get pregnant, let me know.
At the tenth abortion, let me know how happy you are in your sexual life."

* I respect your intellect far too much too accept this naivety. This was typed by a Water impersonater. Heh.

Quote w:
"This is how it works:
1. God does not want to be treated like a quick-fix. If being treated so, He
will not indulge it.
2. God will refuse to do what you ask Him, if you have other gods before
Him.
3. God may not immediately give you what you have asked for. Some gifts are
such that you need to be prepared to receive them, so He prepares you first,
which may take some time.
4. You are neither wise nor stupid.
5. God won't live your life for you.

* Pardon for butting in here, but I am starting to hear tired Christian clichés.

1. Is your god not omniscient? You are humanising your god here. You are describing petulance. Surely the creator of All is above this?

2. Your god is so conditional, he seems insecure. Also depends on whether you are Jewish, Muslim or Christian, eh?

3. Excuses, excuses. So it all makes perfect sense?

4. ?

5. Nope, you better get over it and live. That’s for sure. You win some, and you lose some. Fundemental law of nature.
 
gendanken said:
But that's the point, Water.
Woody here is not being that dwarf.
He did not ask for miracles.

He got something he did not even apply for.
He got his answer and read his post- he finds it inexplicable.
Yet whatever 'answer' the man got would have been it but the one most in his favor- like so many billion others- is seen as Inexplicable.


And the inexplicable as evidence of Intervention.

"Inexplicable" is a poor choice of words. I have my doubts whether is was God who arranged Woody his job. Point is, one should be grateful for what he gets. People are usually not very good at being grateful, so they wrap this up into fancy words like "inexplicable".



If you can't even figure out exaclty what he does not refuse to do (because its all for the best, and according to you, Water, 'understandable and acceptable), how, pray tell, can you dare claim to know what he does refuse to do?

I said:


2. God will refuse to do what you ask Him, if you have other gods before Him.

If you have OTHER gods before Him, then you damn sure haven't got a clue what God does or what He does not do.

If your gods are money, beauty, other people -- don't expect you prayers being answered by God.
 
stretched said:
Quote w:
"When you get pregnant, let me know.
At the tenth abortion, let me know how happy you are in your sexual life."

* I respect your intellect far too much too accept this naivety. This was typed by a Water impersonater. Heh.

I will give a damn what you think about sex when you are the one who can get pregnant.


Quote w:
"This is how it works:
1. God does not want to be treated like a quick-fix. If being treated so, He
will not indulge it.
2. God will refuse to do what you ask Him, if you have other gods before
Him.
3. God may not immediately give you what you have asked for. Some gifts are
such that you need to be prepared to receive them, so He prepares you first,
which may take some time.
4. You are neither wise nor stupid.
5. God won't live your life for you.

* Pardon for butting in here, but I am starting to hear tired Christian clichés.

1. Is your god not omniscient? You are humanising your god here. You are describing petulance. Surely the creator of All is above this?

I am not saying God is anthropomorphic. We have no other way but to anthropomorphize; it is only in our anthropomorphic way that we can understand God.


2. Your god is so conditional, he seems insecure. Also depends on whether you are Jewish, Muslim or Christian, eh?

Why insecure? Would you freeely give to someone who mocks you?


3. Excuses, excuses. So it all makes perfect sense?

The moment you comment with "excuses", you admit that you expect from God no other than magic.



Yes, that is the part that should make you think.


5. Nope, you better get over it and live. That’s for sure. You win some, and you lose some. Fundemental law of nature.

And? What is your problem here, why do you discuss things about God?
 
MW: My own mother lingered in a half vegatative state for two years but wouldn't die. Her will was strong. It was after I told her "don't be afraid to go. Daddy's waiting on you."

WoodY: Nice words, but did you have to lie?
 
Gend says:
If you didn't get that job of yours, it was all for the best as that is what God wanted.
And that you did get it, it was all for the best as that is that is what God wanted.
And that you did get it, but did not know about it, it was all for the best as press rewind and push play.
And if you almost got it, having known abut it, but did not, it was all for the best as rewind and press play again.
And if you almost got it, having not known about it until someone else did, it was all press rewind and play again.
press rewind and play again
press rewind and play again

Woody says: Keep rewinding because you still don't get it and you probably never will. I'm not pressing and rewinding, I'm working a great job. It is my job as a believer to praise God in the valleys too.

-------------------------------------------

Gend says: You aren’t discussing anything, you are simply interpreting silence by whistling your way through it.

Woody says: You are just like all the rest of the atheist, because you presume to understand what you do not understand. All of you are the same -- you don't ask to understand, you just rant about the way you think things ought to be. Just like the rest, you want to feel good about your atheism, and when I praise the creator you all start squirming around. I understand, it takes you out of your comfort zone, and you realize that just maybe you need to change, but you can't wait forever, because someday you are going to die.

How would I know? -- because I was the same way and I knew I had to do something about it. I'd dream about smothering in a grave with vermin feeding on my rotting body. I'd cry out for God, but it was too late. Did anyone else ever get that feeling?
 
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Woody: For many, many years, my dad always dreaded wheelchairs. After his terrible fall he was confined to a wheelchair and he died a few weeks later.
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M*W: Wishful thinking again
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Woody: You got to be kidding -- are you saying he wished for a broken leg and a surgical infection that would take his life? He really feared becoming a cripple someday. He died without a left pelvis socket. It was a terrible way to go.
 
M*W: Well, I can't speak for Quigly, and truly, I cannot even speak for my ancestors, but in that day and time, slaves benefitted from my ancestors' crops.

Woody says: Yes, slavery was a business, and a businessman doesn't go around beating up his greatest assets. I think southstar gets her perception from hollywood.

Are migrant workers any better off today? I read Steinbeck. Think about it next time you buy fruit at the grocery -- some homeless migrant worker living in total poverty with his miserable family worked his butt off so you could eat a peach. Many of them weren't allowed to eat on the job. The migrant workers aren't even U.S. citizens.
 
Quote w:
“I will give a damn what you think about sex when you are the one who can get pregnant.”

* There are ways to avoid an unwanted pregnancy. Its a choice.

Quote w:
“I am not saying God is anthropomorphic. We have no other way but to anthropomorphize; it is only in our anthropomorphic way that we can understand God.”

* So the chances are, we are way off the mark?

Quote w:
“Why insecure? Would you freeely give to someone who mocks you?”

* Like a child. I won’t if YOU won’t! If my love was big enough, I could give.

Quote w:
“The moment you comment with "excuses", you admit that you expect from God no other than magic.”

* Let’s just agree then that faith cannot move mountains. OK?

Quote w:
“Yes, that is the part that should make you think.”

* I’m practically thunked out!

Quote w:
“And? What is your problem here, why do you discuss things about God?”

* I have an understanding regarding god too. And I greatly respect your thinking.
 
stretched said:
Quote w:
“I will give a damn what you think about sex when you are the one who can get pregnant.”

* There are ways to avoid an unwanted pregnancy. Its a choice.

Not so. Contraceptives are only 98% safe. It's those 2% that make me wonder.

Your son -- was he an "accident"?


Quote w:
“I am not saying God is anthropomorphic. We have no other way but to anthropomorphize; it is only in our anthropomorphic way that we can understand God.”

* So the chances are, we are way off the mark?

Only if the most important thing in our understanding of God is who God is -- instead of concentrating on who we are and what we do.
Saying God is wicked, immoral etc. (there's plenty of scripture that can be interpreted like that) is a neat excuse for the immoral: if God is immoral, then I don' thave to be moral either.


Quote w:
“Why insecure? Would you freeely give to someone who mocks you?”

* Like a child. I won’t if YOU won’t! If my love was big enough, I could give.

If your love was big enough. You doubt God's is big enough?


Quote w:
“The moment you comment with "excuses", you admit that you expect from God no other than magic.”

* Let’s just agree then that faith cannot move mountains. OK?

Have you tried?
Can you say your faith was perfect, but it did not move mountains?


Quote w:
“And? What is your problem here, why do you discuss things about God?”

* I have an understanding regarding god too. And I greatly respect your thinking.

Serene mind and everything, right?.
 
Quote w:
“Your son -- was he an "accident"?

* Nope, my son was conceived in love. He was planned. Yes, the 2% does occur, but there is more than one way to skin a cat. No?

Quote w:
“Only if the most important thing in our understanding of God is who God is -- instead of concentrating on who we are and what we do.”

* Absolutely, as I’ve said, religion is for understanding of the self, not god.

Quote w:
“Saying God is wicked, immoral etc. (there's plenty of scripture that can be interpreted like that) is a neat excuse for the immoral: if God is immoral, then I don' thave to be moral either.”

* Maybe my Daddy taught me right from wrong? He was not religious. And strangely enough, I ain’t immoral. (more than I have to be … Heh.)

Quote w:
“If your love was big enough. You doubt God's is big enough?”

* I KNOW gods love is big enough. Same as I know MY love is big enough. But this is not the Christian god I’m talking about.

Quote w:
“Have you tried?
Can you say your faith was perfect, but it did not move mountains?”

* Nope. That’s a good response. But the little bird must still pick the fruit of the tree. The fruit does not levitate to the little bird.

Quote w:
“Serene mind and everything, right?”

* Absolutely. :)
 
On the subject of contraceptives I say that it is God’s way of keeping retards out of the gene pool.

Since their use is popular amongst the Godless, sinners who want to waste their seed fornicating with no purpose and less thought, it is only logical to assume that God intended it to be a way of preventing the spread of thinking.

AIDS, also God’s way of killing off the sub-races.

I once prayed for a job, as well, but unbeknownst to me my competitor was also praying for the exact same job.
In the end God thought his resume as being better than mine, so he got the dishwashing job.
A month later the restaurant caught on fire and that guy died in the fire.

It was Gods way of letting me know that He was looking out for me and that he approved of my demented sexual practices and obsessions.
----------------------------

Having been awakened to the power of prayer, by this Forum's many bright minds, I’ve now focused my appeals towards making Woody die of an aneurism.
From our Lord and Saviour Jesus I ask for lesser thing.

Just for the hell of it. A test of the power of prayer.
Either that or let him lose a limb in a freak office accident.

I also ask for all of your help in my own personal struggles.
I know the combined efforts and our communal begging will bring better results so I ask for all of you to pray for me and with me in my time of need.

Pray that those pimples on my shaft clear up and the excretions dry up.
Pray that I finally get over my obsession with rubber underpants and women’s bras.
Pray that I stop fantasizing about my 6 year-old niece.
Pray that I win the lottery.

I’m also considering a human sacrifice if that doesn’t work.

Thank you.
I need help.
 
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Gendanken:

Your argument on causality is somewhat valid, but it disappears when one thinks about the subject of God logically. I know that someone such as yourself will immediately think less of me because I suggest "God" and "logic" can have anything to do with each other, but that, by itself, isn't as much of a stretch as you might think it is. That being so, I shall tackle that small issue first, before pointing out the glaringly obvious flaw in your causality argument.

God, as the creator of the universe, formed everything in it with a purpose and a reason, though that reason may only be fully understood and known by God himself. All ideas and theories are only reflections or shadows of God's mind and will. Reason and logic exist only because God wishes it so. He has given us those invaluable tools so that we might explore and better understand the universe and life that he has given us. This being so, it is only logical to conclude that logic and reason would indeed apply to God, at least to the limits that we may know him and his will.

With that established, we can continue to consider your argument.
To begin, gendanken, you have failed to fully consider your premise based on what we know to be true of God. Your assumption is that if God answered prayers, then the universe wouldn't be logical, or would be incoherent for some reason. You assume that there is an order or natural progression to this reality and that answered prayers would somehow detract from it, would make it flawed.

This is simply untrue. In fact, the very premise shows your lack of understanding of the nature of God.

God, as I have already said, is the creator. He brought the very order that you see as evidence against him into being. It is his will.
In addition, God is all knowing. Not only can you not hide things, such as your thoughts and feelings, from God but also, he is also very aware of what the future holds for each of us.
He has known from the very beginning. From before the beginning in fact. He knew the story of your life before the universe began.

To you, gendanken, this may seem like an unimportant detail that only detracts from the discussion at hand; One that only serves to confuse, but this is not the case.
You see, this foreknowledge of events, all events, was considered and taken into account before God created any of us. When God ‘planned’ out the universe, he did so with the knowledge of what each of his children would need, and when they would need it. This is God’s plan. So, when prayers are answered, it isn’t an aberration, or a unraveling of the natural order; It is the natural order playing out, just as God intended.

Prayers are answered every day. All around us are the answers to the questions and pleas that God knew would exist, even before we did. God knew what Woody would need and when he would need it, from the beginning. God knew what each of us would need, and who would accept him. The universe was planned with this in mind.

When Woody accepted God into his life and his heart, it was something new to him, but it wasn’t new to God. God has known Woody would do this, and had set things in motion long before Woody could have ever have realized simply to aid Woody in his time of need.
Even while Woody denounced God, God’s plan was working for Woody.

And just as this applies to Woody, gendanken, it applies to you as well. God knows you better than you know yourself. When you realize this, and accept Christ as your Lord and Savior, God will be waiting with open arms.

Yours, in Praise of Christ,
mephura
 
On the subject of contraceptives I say that it is God’s way of keeping retards out of the gene pool.

ROFLMAO!! :D

And it only shows that god is not omniscient. He's done fuc*ed up plenty of times. ;)

Bush rings a bell of being one of those retards. LOL...

God, as the creator of the universe, formed everything in it with a purpose and a reason, though that reason may only be fully understood and known by God himself. All ideas and theories are only reflections or shadows of God's mind and will. Reason and logic exist only because God wishes it so. He has given us those invaluable tools so that we might explore and better understand the universe and life that he has given us. This being so, it is only logical to conclude that logic and reason would indeed apply to God, at least to the limits that we may know him and his will.

This is purely non-sequitur.

God gave us nothing. If it were not for Eve "supposedly" to have eaten the fruit of knowledge to know good and evil, offered by the serpent, and offered it to Adam, so that he may eat, the human race as we know it, would not exist. We still be dumb idiotic bromide creatures acting like robots.

Another point I like to make is that no-one knows god, or even if it exists, yet there seems to be so many damn advocates claiming to know what has been given, and what not. :rolleyes:

First of all What is God/god?

God/god is a word with no identity. What identity do you give this entity with no identity?

Godless
 
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