story time!!!!

My freakin pants were dry. I swear I'd pissed them like twice in the last lil bit. It makes me wonder if I'd stumbled acrossed some anti-piss phenomenon that one can only access through their dreams, or if maybe I'd somehow come across the set of "back to the future 3" and snagged some self drying, de-pissificating clothing. Shit yeah, that would be cool. Regardless, there's no complaining about piss-free attire. Ah... i'm feeling good about this.

But I digress...
 
I ran back towards the beanstalk. I was running on a field of clouds. I ran right past that damn troll, and took my $3.00 back. On my way towards the beanstalk, I remembered how low the value of the dollar was becoming. I searched the field for an exchange station so that I may convert my dollars to euros.

I ran towards a garden park. As I got closer to the park, I saw that it was filled with Care Bears. 'If only I had my blaster,' I thought to myself. As I entered the park, I saw a little metallic orange colored bear. He had a bullet symbol on his stomach. I asked Bullet Bear if he had any fire power. He brought me to his shed at the center of the park.

Inside, he showed me his oozy collection. I offered him $3.00 for an oozy. He declined, and told me he only accepted Euros. I kicked Bullet Bear right to the other side of the park, and grabbed an oozy.

I ran out of the shed, and started my spree. One Care Bear after another dropped in a care blood bath. Suddenly, they teamed up against me. Fear shuttered down my spine as I heard their war cry: CARE BEARS STARE! The blast hit me like nothing I had ever felt. The giant rainbow almost blew my head off. I was propelled across the park riddled with care. I landed on the cloud field outside of the park. The excruciating care was eating me up. I pointed the oozy towards those little bastards. I tried to pull the trigger, but the care was too intense. So overwhelming that I could not pull the trigger. I did the only thing I could think of.

After soiling myself, I ran back towards the bears. I was a new man. With the oozy in my hand, I ran right into the middle of the pack, and let out my own war cry. CARE BEARS UNDERWEAR! I ripped my Michael Jordan briefs right off of my groin, and began swirling the brand-name article over head. It was a tornado of my odoriferous excrement. The Care Bears ran for their life. None of them, however, escaped the splatter.

This shit covered parade was too much for me. I ran off in search of a currency changer. . .
 
The fish in the tank weeped because the didn't no how to drive it so they ran to india and shot a large pinapple with a plunger.
 
Albert continued reading this story for many more hours, until he finally realized that the sounds he had been dimly aware of for the past few hours were coming from his belly. He threw the book down.

"This story stinks. The author should be shot. He seems to be some psycho with multiple personality. the only good that has come out of this is that now, I feel inspired to write a story".

So saying, he went to the refrigerator and had a snack.

A few minutes later, as he sat down and started typing his story, he couldn't help smiling.

"It was a fine morning, and Roger was feeling like getting up and running a marathon...
 
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