The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!

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A gay guy goes to see his dr, his dr says what can i do for you today?
the gay guy goes, my as hole hurts like hell,
ok the dr says, what i need you to do is go out tonight have 12 pints of lager
then go and have 2 vindaloos and then go out and eat 12 laxatives.
Ok the gay guy said, will that help my ass?
No the dr said but it will teach you what your ass is made for!!
 
a woman goes to see her dr, and her dr says what can i do for you today? and she says well i have three vaginas, oh the dr said looking up in surprise can you lift your skirt and let me have a look, ok she said lifiting her skirt, after about 10mins of examination she say's well doc what can you do for me, well he says i can put a plaster on the vagina on the outside of your left leg and i can do the same with the right leg, leaving just the normal vagina exposed, mmmmmm she said and that will help me? no the dr said, but it will stop you getting fucked left right and centre.
 
a mexican and a nigger are in a car and they drive off a cliff and die.
who wins?

society.






what do u call 3 asains and mexican and 3 black guys standing in a row in a front yard?

a sprinkler! chink chink chink spick nigger nigger nigger

hahaha
 
thenamespaul said:
a mexican and a nigger are in a car and they drive off a cliff and die.
who wins?

society.






what do u call 3 asains and mexican and 3 black guys standing in a row in a front yard?

a sprinkler! chink chink chink spick nigger nigger nigger

hahaha
Click to expand...

thats so racist that you have to laugh.

peace.
 
london and 9/11 bomings

Now these jokes are directily related to the london and 9/11 bomings so if you are sensitive to this subject plz dont read on....


Q: what is the difference between smartys and a londoner?

A: smartys dont blowup in the tube


Q: what was everyone singing before the towers went down?

A: We got 21 seconds to go we got 21 seconds to go
 
After the london bombings thousands of tottenham fans rushed to tavistock square because they hadn't seen an open top bus in years....
 
True story: A new York man drank a boost enegry drink and had an errection for four days, he had to have his penis blood drained. His last name was "woods"
 
:)

how do you make a six year old cry twice?
fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on her teddy bear.



A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution, bored out of their minds.
"How about having sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.
"Lets have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist.
"Lets have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer.
"Lets have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile.
"Lets have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac.
Silence took over... then everyone turned to the masochist and asked:
"So, what's it gonna be?"
To which he replies, "Meow."
 
mu haha

Absolute said:
this post is for wanderer,

THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU
SPRITUS SANCTI SPRITUS SANCTI EN NUMINUS DEO
Click to expand...

the power of water will wash you
the power of water will wash you
NO IM MELTING!
mu haha:jason:
 
thismeans_war said:
how do you make a six year old cry twice?
fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on her teddy bear.



A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution, bored out of their minds.
"How about having sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.
"Lets have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist.
"Lets have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer.
"Lets have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile.
"Lets have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac.
Silence took over... then everyone turned to the masochist and asked:
"So, what's it gonna be?"
To which he replies, "Meow."
Click to expand...

meow very good
 
what's harder than nailing dead babies to the wall?




my dick while I do it.
 
Q. What do you get if you take a Power-drill to a baby's head?

A. Dunno bout you, but I get a hard on.

bleurgh!!
 
Q. What do you call a welshman with a stick up his arse?

A. A Taffy-apple.
 
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