Dear exsto human:
It is very funny for me to read what you said as regards dreams:
“The above I believe applys for other aspects of life aswell, for example dreams have incredibly much to tell us about ourselves, however to ask someone else to make sense of them would be just deluding ourself, one must make the effort to find the answeres for ones self.”
The reason I find this notion amusing is that I frequent a dream website where I interpret dreams. I have been told I am eerily accurate. “Scary” has been used on more than one occasion. I feel dreams give incredible insight into real life situations of the individual who has had the dream. These individuals CANNOT make out the symbolism and rely on me to do this. I suggest to you that this is possible.
Dear Bebelina:
You ask a very good question. I think the fact that you have chosen such a highly-charged subject matter is making it difficult for others to answer. I, therefore, can readily see how hard it is for this person to solve it for themselves. For if others who have no emotional attachment to this situation cannot solve this riddle, I feel doubtful that the woman in the middle of this situation can be expected to. It is only right she look for a little help. And isn't that exactly what she didn't do in the first place? It's interesting that the initial responses have reinforced this false notion. She should indeed ask for help in the first place. And in the second. It is interesting that perhaps the universe is mirroring back her subconscious thoughts that there is no help? Or at least no help for her? In any event, I hope I am up to fulfilling this request.
I tend to like to look at patterns when I view things. So I will outline some patterns I see in this hypothetical scenario that you have outlined.
Now you have someone that was sexually abused as a child and then is verbally abused as an adult. The first pattern that springs to mind is one of being a victim. While this may seem obvious, I perhaps don’t mean it in the obvious way. We can easily see that as a child she may well have felt powerless in this situation. There were excuses and fears that must have played on her mind as to why she felt she could not tell and why she must suffer the consequences of this abuse. Of course, there is a basic perceived inequality of power in the nature of any kind of contest between a child versus an adult. But this is NOT what is going on inside this individual. For we see as an adult, this person “willingly” puts herself in a position of victimization. This makes me think that perhaps she is being asked to come to terms with why she feels so powerless and helpless as this may be an issue to work on. In other words, going back to the first incident, some children do, in fact, tell what has happened to them. They do, in fact, seek justice. They do, in fact, win and overcome their abusive situation. They prove themselves powerful. So this tells me that something is underlying this issue of being powerless since it has happened twice. Reinforcing this notion is the fact that it is now adult versus adult. This some would say is much more equal footing in terms of power. So in her staying in this situation, I would have to say that I feel that this person is not looking at all her strengths. She is not seeing herself as a winner or someone that can overcome adversity. Her self-worth is non-existent. For if we view what being victim really is, a major component is in feeling powerless. But are they indeed powerless? It is interesting if in theory we look at someone who is a sheer opportunist. If this opportunist was a child, how easily they could take advantage of an adult. But most children are not opportunist. This is just an example I give as to how one can truly evaluate their strengths and turn a seeming weakness into much the opposite to win a war. Perhaps she needs to evaluate herself in this kind of dispassionate way.
Next is the notion of love. Who was it that abused this child? Was it a parent or someone she loved? This would be a necessary detail for me to know in order to accurately analyze this portion of what is internally happening inside this woman. If it was indeed someone she “loved” that abused her, and she did not tell for that reason, she is confusing “love” with what is best for her. She is subjugating all that she is, making the notion of sacrifice a travesty and a mockery. Did she learn this lesson from her mother? You did not mention this either. So the lesson, if any of this is relevant, is that you may “love” someone, but this does not override the concept of another’s boundary. Even if someone you “love” oversteps your boundary, you push them back over the line. If you are not physically or mentally able to do this, you find someone who is.
A third angle to view this situation through would be that this little girl was completely traumatized by what happened. There may have been no feelings of inadequacy, powerlessness, or self-worth issues within her until she was raped. It was at that point these feelings arose and now form the prison in which she lives. This could very well have happened. In this case, the lesson is to NEVER let someone else decide what you are. An incident is just that. It is something that happens to us. It may or may not be something we can control. It may or may not be karmic in origin. Either way, it has NOTHING to do with what and who we are. Emotions and “turning thoughts” keep the memory real. If this is the case, this young woman MUST find out and discover who she really is. To think of one’s self as an abused child, MAKES one an abused child. Forever. So suppose she relives the past. These memories bring on guilt for not taking action. And that, in turn, brings on guilt as to why this abuser chose her. And that, in turn, brings on thoughts that she must have been being provocative and is really the guilty party in this scenario, etc., etc. So the lesson here would be to erase the past. STOP RELIVING it. For that is what she does each and every time she is verbally abused. She is replaying the original scenario over and over again. Thoughts attract situations. In thinking about the past and what happened to her in the past, AND IN BELIEVING SOME PART OF PAST AS BEING TRUE, she has now attracted that situation in her life again. I would strongly suggest she find out who she truly is and not rely on the memory of abuse to define her.
Also, there is one more thought I would like to present to you. Karma is this mysterious subject. I have a theory on the nature of karma. You see any strong emotional response causes adrenalin to be released. I believe adrenalin to leave a “crystal” residue. I believe this crystal residue attracts similar situations to us. So this also may be underlying the situation as well. The lesson here would be to make the attraction inert and refuse to become emotional. The abuse turning from physical to mental would seem to mimic this solution. For a verbal assault is of air in terms of nature and thus is reinforcing the need for mental activity. Pure thought, without emotion, can be used to detach from this situation. Forever.
These are my initial thoughts on this. Without more details, I can only go this far. With more specifics, there can be more complexity. Think of a drawing where you connect the dots. The more dots, the clearer the picture.
Sat Nam,
NEMESIS
What agenda do you see behind the curtain of "reality"? 
