Jokes and Funny Stories II

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I used to hunt deserters from the USN. Lots of fun. Federal "want", meaning no judge had to issue a warrant, the Navy could do it. And sure as the day will dawn we'd get a guy who thought he could get out of going to a Marine operated brig*.

"Hey, you guys didn't read me my rights!"

"Oh, sorry. Here we go: Anything you say will be taken down, twisted around, altered and used against you in farce of law. Do you have anything to say before you're given a fair trial, found guilty and confined for all eternity?"
 
I got a Walmart special when I was 43, I'm 73 now. Rarely used it. Didn't want to talk to anyone that bad. 911 was handy that one time.
 
I have never owned a cellphone and still don't to this day. I have a landline and voicemail and that's all I need. I am living proof that cellphones, except for emergency situations, are totally bogus gadgets.
 
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I used a cell phone to call 911 from my driveway last summer. (Concrete was hot, but I didn't notice the burns at the time.) They shocked me three times on the way to the hospital.
 
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