Sciforums Fleet

Captains Log
SSS Effluence
Captain Silverback

With all major ships systems down, there is no way to tell our current position, heading or speed. No scanners, sensors or even viewscreens are operable. I can look out a sealed porthole, but I can’t tell anything just by the assortment of stars. Damn, why didn’t I study more in Astrogation class?

We need to find some way to inform other ships of our position and of course, that of the Scerlag Voltron. Message beacons can’t be manually launched. So, I concoct a plan.

“Scooter, go to the manual release valve outside of Bilge Tank 187. I want you to flip the release lever for 15 seconds. Then close it up and wait, uh, 10 minutes and do it again, every 10 minutes.”

“But Cap’n, we will be leaking raw sewage into space!”

“Exactly.” And with that, it would leave a trail behind us, and if any other ships passed by, perhaps they could find the trail that would lead them to the Voltron which held us captive for it’s own inscrutable purposes. Not exactly a trail of bread crumbs, but it was the best we could do.

I had heard that the SSS Queen of Mayhem was earlier in the vicinity. I remember Rear Admiral Spuriousmonkey from his inspirational lecture he gave the Sanitation class I had attended in Academy. It was there that I met the one true unrequited love of my life, the lovely Spurietta, daughter of the Rear Admiral.

Ah, how I fondly recall the longs walks we would take around the Academy grounds while her father gave lectures. She would breathlessly extol the virtues of the Damn Hippie philosophy. One summer day she asked if I would flee with her to the newly established colony world of Cannibus D. There, the Damn Hippies would live out their lives in peace, harmony, oneness with nature and a whole lotta drugs.

However, it was not to be. It was on that very day that I received the astonishing news that I had been promoted far beyond my wildest dreams of youth. I was to be Robomop Inspector Second Class on the SSS Sphincter.

Parting is such sweet sorrow.
 
Prisoner's Log
Stardate ??.??.??
SSS Percipience

Laughing pygmies dance about me. Jabbing me with their infernal spears. The face of Cannibal X floats about shouting expletives. I'm in a cauldron, the water coming to a boil. Spurietta appears in the distance. "Nnnexuuuussss... Captain Nnexuuusss....." She approaches and grabs me about the shoulders. "Waaakke Uuuppp..."

Blearily, I open my eyes. I'm laying on a cot in a holding cell, Spurietta at my side wiping my forehead with a wet cloth. My whole body was drenched in sweat and my skin tingled as though from a fever. "...what..." I began to say. My throat felt raw as an open wound. "Water..."

Spurietta's face lights up when she realizes I'm awake, "Oh, captain! I've been so worried about you! Here..." She offers me a glass of water. "Not too fast. You've been out a long time."

I gulp at the water greedily, ignoring her advice. Ahh, so good, I was dying of thirst... My belly knots up in a seizure. I can't hide the grimace of pain. She pulls the glass away and scolds me, "Now, now. That's enough, Captain. We've got to get you on your feet."

"##@!#$@ is he ##^@&$# awake #^$&!# yet?" snarled a vicious female voice, "We've #@$!& wasted enough #@$%!@ time already $@@#!@!!"

"Yes, yes, your bitchiness. He's awake. Now we can get your precious codes." Spurietta said calmly. She turned back towards me, "Captain, it seems your second in command was more cagey than we realized. He's locked the computer and only your codes will unlock them. Give them to me, captain. Please?" Her face softens and radiates utter beauty. The strap of her gown slips from her shoulder and reveals a good portion of her breasts. Waves of charisma wash over me and I find myself wanting to tell her the top secret codes. Anything to just please that smiling face. Just to rest a while longer in the blissful...

"NO!!" I cry out, wrenching my head to the side, removing the vision of beauty from my sight, "Never!! You... wil not... have... my... ... ship!!"

"@#$#@!!@# you !#$@! I'll ## !@$ it @##$ !@#! !@#! !!" as Spurietta is thrown aside and Cannibal X lunges into view. She grabs me by the hair and thrust her face into my own. She grins an evil grin, "Won't we?"

"What? I don't und..." I begin. X snarls and rakes her claws over my face. Blood pours out. I'm too weak to resist as I'm dragged out of the cell and down the corridor.

A constant stream of vulgarities flows out of her mouth and Scerlags scurry to do her bidding. She brings me to a laboratory that has been recently renovated. There are chairs with straps on them. Some of them hold prisoners. Members of the crew. Bones. She drags me to the chair next to Bones and straps me down.

"Now, Captain, you passed on the easy way out. Spurietta has taken a liking to you and asked it of me as a special favor. But since you insist, now comes the fun way." (Note, X continues to spout obscenities, but I've filtered them out to ease understanding.)

X goes to a table nearby and procures some rather devilish looking contraptions, all spikes and hooks and jagged edges.

"Torture me all you want, " I proclaim, "You'll never get the codes!"

"You, Captain? Oh, no, not yet. We've got lot's of time until we get to you." She grins and moves towards a crew member. "First, I want you to appreciate the delicacy of my art."

"Leave him alone, you bitch!!" I cry out uselessly. He was one of the newer members of the crew. I didn't even know his name. Just your average nameless security officer.

"Oh, I'll leave him alone, Captain. Once I'm through with him." She starts to work. I can't describe the horrible atrocities she was able to commit upon the poor lad. He lived a long time. X was skillful.

I struggle uselessly at my bonds. My strength returning belatedly.

"I'll kill you, you dirty, stinking cannibal!"

"Hahahahahahahaha!!!"

Fade to black...


To be continued...
 
Log: Delron Draconis
Stardate 6-03-04
Space Tug Brawn

With major parts replaced and Corinthus being mostly functional, I was diected to proceed to the Aqua Vitae system to board the Percipience. The extra firepower Corinthus represents is thought to be a good thing. This blasted tug though was the only thing capable of hauling the 600-ton Duelist. The only thing to report is that we have found a strange dotted line of sewage leading toward Scerlag space. Command has acknowledged this fact, and is seeking to get the Percipience to follow. They are not responding however, and so it would seem my decision to carry the plutonuim-tipped rounds for Corinthus's rail gun was a good idea. Hopefully the eight nucleonic missiles in the shoulder pack will be enough, I didn't get more. It has been told that the Queen of Mayhem may be in or near the system. If we can't get the Percipience, I'll transfer to her. Better than this peice of crap. And the admiral might know more of what to do if the Percipeince has been taken or destroyed.
(You got AIM, Spurious Monkey? Continuity here is important. I'll PM you.)
 
(Am I in someones ignore list? I do follow the Voltron Unit all the time...)

Captains Log
SSS Wayfarer
Captain Dreamwalker

We are still obeserving the Voltron unit, which
somehow grabbed the SSS Effluence.
No contact can be established with the old
waste disposal ship. The only visible
sign of activity is a great amount of
junk that was ejected by the SSS Effluence.
Obviously they want to create a trail to follow,
they seem oblivious to our presence in this
system. Perhaps the Voltron unit has damaged
the ship, that could be another source for all
the waste floating around.
We are still sending coordinates to fleet command,
but they still do not react. Some fleet internal
activities are occupying them.
I hope they are sending a battleship in, against
a Voltron unit we have not a big chance of
success.
 
(Gifted, I'm being held prisoner on my own ship, in case you're thinking the ship has been abandoned. I kinda had an idea of maybe the scerlags using some kind of cloaking device to hide their overwhelming numbers in the area, but haven't made it that far yet. Maybe my ship is being towed, or it could be inside another ship. It's not the biggest ship in the fleet, just a research vessel.)

(Dreamwalker, You're not on my ignore list anyway. :p Good luck with that Voltron Unit.)
 
I was responding to the earlier posts. Obviously if you're a prisoner, regardless of where your ship is, it wouldn't be responding to Fleet communitcations, unless your first officer did something besides lock out the computers. I need to hook up with our primate ally before continuing.
 
(No one is on my ignore list. I understood the Voltron was attacked and moved on, possibly being followed. I just happend upon it out in deep space while it was headed away from my destination. How far away from A. V., I never specified, days or weeks out if you like. Mostly, I was just following the que handed by Invert_Nexus. It sounded funny so I went with it. The last thing I want to do is mess up someone elses' plotline.

How did it grab me? Well, the only "Voltron" anything I know of was from the old sci-fi cartoon (early anime?) of the 1980's, and those had arms. I just assumed. Otherwise, you can say it grappled me if it fits better.

My ship is not a warship and had crappy sensors to begin with and are non-operational now. I can't tell who is outside unless they pull up and knock. Or come up with some ingenious way to communicate with us.

By the way, Invert, I loved the planet sized Jerry Garcia.)
 
SSS Queen of Mayhem
Rear Admiral Spuriousmonkey
'shit'

'sorry to disturb you during your tea break Admiral, but we have arrived within sensor range of the SSS Percipience', my trusted AI told me.

'I assume that the ship is in full battle mode Hal?', I replied calmly.

'Yes, admiral, it is capable of kicking some serious shit!' Hal replied enthusiastically

Hmmm, I thought, the AI's personality is changing rapidly. It has only been online for a few days now and already it has undergone major changes. I wasn't worried about most of the changes, but I do was worried about its obvious enthusiasm for violence. I would have expected that they had build in some bahavioural saftey limiters. Ah well, I guess the AI was designed for war. Nice guys never win in love and war.

'Open a channel to the Percipience Hal, and bring the main plasma cannon online. We will give them a big scare if they won't cooperate by turning the space next to their ship into a small nova.'


'A Scerlag Voltron unit Admiral!', Hal said urgently.

'Go to Attack mode B1'

A Scerlag voltron unit? How could that be? My own battlefleet had annihilated the entire Scerlag fleet in the battle above Amega IIVa! They were not supposed to be around anymore. We killed them all!

'Admiral, we cannot destroy the Scerlag fleet without destroying the Percipience in the process. If your daughter is really alive and onboard the Percipience she will not survive this confrontation.'

'Hal, are we capable of destroying the Scerlag menace?' I asked somberly.

'Oh yes, admiral. No doubt about it. Unless they have a card up their sleeves.'

'But so do we...so do we...'

'What are your orders admiral?'

'Keep us at a safe distance and launch Class III stealth probes. I want to know more about what is going on'

'Shit' Hal stated.

'What is wrong Hal!!! Talk to me!' I shouted.

'Nothing is wrong Admiral. There is a trail of shit in space.'

'A trail of shit? Another Hippie weapon?'

'No admiral, the trail of shit leads directly to the SSS Effluence. Captain's Silverback vessel.'

'Shit, Captain Silverback.'

'Indeed', Hal replied.
 
On the bridge of the "Dark Lancelot"

"We are too late..." said the science officer, Sergei, "...the enemy (scerlag) fleet has already reached aqua vitae."

"We came in too late to warn them" I said.

"I am detecting several ship signatures, in the vicinity of Aqua vitae, they appear to be ours"

"It is the Queen Mayhem, sir"

"Plot a course...full speed"

"Sergei, start reception of E.S.T.N."
*Earth subspace transmission network​

"Ann, warn the fleet. Tell them we might have to engage the enemy.

you have the bridge"

.....


Back in the captain’s quarters.

"Last time I saw the Queen Mayhem was at the battle of Amega IIVa. She was in very poor shape. How could it have survived? :confused: ...Admiral spurious monkey... you old devil!"

Even before the defeat of the scerlag forces at Amega IIVa Earth had sent it's most sophisticated ships at the time on a pre-emptive mission. We knew they would try and attack us again. Our mission was to prevent that. To bombard their home planet back to it's prehistory. Our orders stated clearly, that out survival was not vital to the mission. And we accepted that.

Alas, our intel was flawed. We tought they were based in one sole sustem. But they had already colonized and developed other systems. And we were met with so much heavy fire that we had to seek refuge in uncharted space.

After years of struggle and evasion we had built enough alliances with species of those territories to start fighting back. We gave them technology and asked their support in return. They didn’t mind because our common enemy constantly attacked them too. But before we could prepare to decisively strike back, we were informed that the scerlag was again marching on earth. We took all ships we could spare and headed for the human territories in order to warn them. We lost many ships going through scerlag territory.

All I hope now is that Earth's defences can be counted on.
.....

The Dark Lancelot is a multipurpose vessel. its class previously constituted the main forces in the frontlines of earth offensives. It has been refitted to cope with new galactic standars. This refitting results at times in systems failures. It is especially tuned to fight scerlag.

(further specs will follow, hopefully.)
 
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SSS Queen of Mayhem
report


'Admiral, we have detected a new ship.'

'Who is it Hal?'

'It appears to be the "Dark Lancelot"'

Hmm, the Dark Lancelot. She was at the battle of Amega IIVa. I can remember her there. It was a good ship.

'Sorry to disturb you admiral, but it was Omega IVa.'

'HAL GODDAMNED HOW THE HELL CAN YOU READ MY MIND!'

The Ship's AI remained silent.

'HAL, I want an answer now!' I shouted!

'Well admiral, this information is on a need to know basis only. And you do not need to know' the ship's AI said calmly.

'I DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHAT MY OWN GODDAMN SHIP CAN DO????', I had completely lost it here.

'No sir, I am afraid my capabilities are classified above your clearance'

I gripped the control panel and it was about the snap under the tension when alarms started to go off. The tactical display came up automatically. The Voltron unit had launched a salvo of missiles.

'Put out countermeasures and launch Hellfire missiles Hal'

'Admiral, I suggest we engage properly. Hellfire missiles will only do minor to medium damage to Voltron unit. I suggest we go in with our Multi-phased Antimatter Plasma Beam Cannon (MAPB cannon) and launch class III Poseidon Missiles.'

'We will do nothing of the sort Hal, my daughter is out there. She will not survive a frontal attack. We are just going to test their updated weapon systems and that is it.'

The voltron missiles were screaming towards the Queen of Mayhem. Standard anti-missile Nuclear missiles were launched on an intercept course. Space lighted up with nuclear explosions. Secondary explosions started to pop-up. Many of the voltron missiles had failed to penetrate the first line of defense, but not all. Thirteen missiles continued their path towards the Queen of Mayhem. Plasma beams flashed, x-ray lasers popped. More missiles blew up. The explosions were so close that several of the standard sensor arrays were burned to a crisp. To replace these sensor arrays, reserve battle proof sensor arrays popped up and took their place. Three missiles remained. Plasma beams continued streaking accross space. Rail guns started spewing anti-missile projectiles on an intercept course in broad patterns in case the missiles changed course. The last three blew up uncomfortable close to the Queen of Mayhem.

'Damage report!'

'Minimal admiral. Some minor hull breaches and damage to weapon systems.'

'What did our hellfire missiles do to the enemy? Hal'

'Admiral, this can't be right...'

'what is it Hal?'

'The missiles had no effect whatsoever! They must have acquired a new shield technology. My preliminary calculations show that our MAPB cannon will not be able to destroy the Scerlag unit.'

'GODDAMN...what is the "Dark Lancelot" doing Hal?'
 
Captains Log
SSS Wayfarer
Captain Dreamwalker

The systems indicated a new ship entering this system, it is the
Dark Lancelot. No further information available yet.

Sensors show multiple missile launches from the Voltron unit,
directed at the SSS Queen Mayhem. Seems like waiting is over,
we were ordered to engage in combat and help wherever possible.
We have dispatched our research and storage compartment and
set it on a course to the nearest planet.
All the scientist were evacuated from the Wayfarer, only the A.I. and
I reamain on the ship. Starting up combat modus.

All missiles online and armed. Railguns and lasers powered up. All combat
systems working.

The missiles, directed at the Queen Mayhem, were destroyed by the ships defenses. The counterattack launched by the Queen Mayhem was without
visible effect, alas the explosions rattled my ship. I remove myself from the
near vicinity of the Voltron unit, otherwise I would be in the blast radius of
my own weapon systems.

We will stand back and wait until the bigger ships initiate another attack.
 
'Admiral, the SSS Wayfarer appeared out of nothing in full combat mode', the Ship's AI reported.

'friend or foe?'

'That is unclear at the moment admiral, but it seems unlikely it is not under SS Command control....wait...the Voltron Unit has released another salvo of missiles. About twice as many and the exhausts have an antimatter signature. I recommend full retaliatory strike Admiral.'

'What is the probability of human survivors Hal?'

'zero admiral, but we must think about earth. This voltron unit should not be allowed to reach earth.'

Should I safe my daughter or earth? I knew of course what I should do, but could I really give the order to kill my own daughter. My next words didn't seem to originate from my own mouth but someone elses.

'Launch all Poseidon missiles. Hold nothing back.'

Choas erupted between the Queen of Mayhem and the Voltron unit. Nuclear blasts were interspersed with antimatter blasts. Hell had broken lose. The majority of the poseidon missiles had broken through. Admiral spuriousmonkey said goodbye to his daughter. The Voltron unit was immersed in a new sun when the missiles hit it. There would be no survivors.

'Admiral...'

'YES HAL...WHAT IS IT..?' I said irritated.

'The Voltron unit is still there and there appears to be no damage. It is heading towards us.'





'
 
A peice of metal drifts through space. Several ships see it, but ignore it. It comes up on the sensors of a massive articulated warship, whose computer then computes that it will intercept the peice of scrap on it present course. Priorities inputed by the controllers show that since the junk poses no danger to the ship, it should be ignored, and attention given to the massive enemy ship in front of them. A note is made for the point defense computers, should anything change.

As predicted, the peice of space junk hits the ship with a faint thud, muffled by the meters of alloy making up the ships hull. Not given enough momentum to match that of the ship, the junk drifts backwards, everything ignoring it. The point defense batteries are concerned with the missiles attempting to hit the ship, rather than a harmless peice of metal scraping along the hull.

About the point of a major missile battery, a hand finds a laser turret. Sparks and fire flare as the turret is crushed, bringing the object to a halt. Alarms start going through the computer system as a nucleonic reactor warms up, but its too late. A rail gun is brought to bear, and the armored doors over the missile bay shatter. On the machine's shoulder, a missile pops its tube without firing the main engine. A hand catches it, and hurls it into the bay like a grenade.

A second rail gun shot takes out the nearest shield generator, allowing the Duelist to flee, shedding the junk that had sheltered its aproach. The only weapons capable of tracking the machine do nothing to its armoralloy skin as it ducks, dodges, and in general gets the heck out of there as the missile detonates, setting off the nuclear and anti-matter missiles waiting to be fired. Secondary explosions rip through the magazine and the Voltron unit reels from the stomach pains.

"Corinthus-Delron calling the Queen of Mayhem. Can I borrow a docking bay?
 
Prisoner's Log
Stardate ??.??.??
SSS Percipience

The torture of my crew has continued for days. Several of my crew have been severely mutilated by that evil bitch, Cannibal X. But, I have maintained my integrity and refused to give the clearance codes. X has become ever more maniacal at each failure to extract the codes. She appears to be losing this battle of wills. Soon she will lose her self-control and begin hacking and stabbing everything in sight, I fear. But so be it. I must protect... my... ship...

Suddenly, the ship lurches as though it had been hit by a massive bombardment. The lights flicker and fail. In the darkness, I can hear X cursing. This is it, I thought, she's going to kill us all now.

The backup lights come on and light the room in a ghostly radiance. A scerlag enters the room and barks at X in it's strange language. X screeches the foulest curse yet and impales the scerlag with her favorite knife, a nasty pointy jaggedy thing. She pulls it out, pulling out a massive pile of entrails as she does so.

She licks the blade and looks at me, grinning evilly. "It seems your friends have come to save you, Captain. But, they will never defeat the Voltron unit. And there is more good news, we have bypassed your security protocols. We no longer need your codes. Now, Captain, it's time for the real fun to begin."

She advances towards me, knife extended, black blood dripping from it's tip. I struggle once more with my bonds, but am unable to break free. This is it.

Clump! A strange look of shock and surprise washes over X's features. I can almost see the little birds circling about her head as she slumps to the floor. Behind her stands... Spurietta!! She is radiant in her mini-mini-skirt and Barbarella style vest with one breast bared. She is holding a phase induction coil with bits of scalp stuck to the end.

"Oh, Captain, I couldn't let that bitch hurt you. I'm so sorry I ever got involved in this whole mess." She drops the coil and releases my bonds. "Please, Captain, you've got to do something. They're planning on destroying the Earth! I just wanted to be a rebel, I didn't want to be a part of a genocide!"

"I'll do my best," I say bravely. I try to stand, but I have been bound for far too long. My limbs are numb from lack of circulation. Spurietta, realizing this, gives me a full-body massage. It was the best I've ever had. I found out later that she was a professional masseuse. It was her major in college. And being the trooper that she is, she didn't even charge extra for the finish. What a gal!

Oh, as an afterthought, we also rescue the remainder of the crew. I forgot they were in the room for a minute. How embarrassing. After seeing how Spurietta treated me, they all start clamoring about lack of circulation as well. Spurietta is going to be busy for a little while. So, in the meantime, I proceed to the nearest weapons locker and arm myself to the teeth.

I return to the torture chamber, killing a few scerlags on the way. When I arrive, I find everyone relaxing, smoking cigarettes, and basking in the afterglow of Spurietta's expert treatment. I was pleased to note that I was the only one who was treated to the finish for free. The rest had to pay handsomely.

I berate the crew briefly for forgetting about our condition in their bliss and rally them to retake the ship. The fight is furious, yet, inevitably we win. The hold is now full of scerlag prisoners and the doc is "interrogating" them as I write this. The hippie technology has been taken from the ship and installed in the Voltron unit.

I have established communications with the fleet and am debating on what action to take next. Should I stay in the area and pretend that the scerlag's still control this vessel? Spurietta understands scerlag and has outfitted the universal translator so that we may imitate them in communications with Voltron. There is a waste management ship in the area, but the Voltron unit has yet to initiate "mother" mode and so is still invulnerable to attack.

I recommend that the fleet pull back and allow the Voltron unit to find a planet where it can initiate "mother" mode and then the Effluence can deal with it. Unfortunately, it has met up with scerlag forces and may not now require the use of the Effluence. I'll await further communications to make my decision.
 
Captains Log
SSS Effluence
Captain Silverback

The ships computers are back on, but it was not our doing. It seems the Voltron has finally succeeded in seizing control of the main computer core. However, much to my surprise, it has not delved into any of our nav-charts or anything else of interest. It seems solely interested in the waste disposal system and has run it up to full speed. Strange…

However, Scooter was able to regain use of the sensor array and we have seen a truly major battle erupting in space all around us. We spot several fine warships nearby, some even legendary. The SSS Wayfarer, Dark Lancelot, Percipience and others. It seems the Queen of Mayhem is leading the assault.

The sight of scores of Poseidon class missiles streaking toward us filled us with dread and the utter certainty of immenent doom. However, the Voltron unit managed a mass-fire of anti-missile weapons and the strength of its shields was astonishing. We scarcely felt a rattle. As the Voltron closed on the Queen of Mayhem, it suddenly lurched from an explosion that seemed to come from nowhere. We breifly detected a ship speeding away, the Duelist?

Scooter informed me that hull integrity was failing all over the ship and while we had managed to power up most of the ship's systems, there was no way to break the Effluence free from the Voltron. We were, as we say in the sanitation corps, in deep shit.

It’s shields were self-regenerating and quickly reestablishing themselves and we could see the primary shield generator of the Voltron hissing with bright blue light as it reenergized. It was only a few dozen metres away and we were inside the protective shield it was creating. I had a plan. I sounded the Abandon Ship signal to my small crew.

“Scooter, reverse polarity on the tractor beam”.

Aye, Cap’n, but the enemy is far too big to push”

“That’s not what I have in mind. Aim it for the Voltron shield generator and open the main bilge spillway. We are going to ram a few thousand tonnes of shit down this things throat”.

We threw the switch and dived out the airlocks. I grinned, knowing that even though my ship would certainly be crushed by this maneuver, it would disable the Voltrons shields, not for long, but perhaps long enough for the assembled fleet to take further action. Myself and my crew will certainly be killed by the coming firestorm, and as what seems to be my final log entry, I recommend them for the highest honors of our corps, the Silver Handle.

It’s time to fling some feces.

*********************************************************

An eruption of volcanic proportions explodes in the face of the Voltron. Excrement is blasted into the primary shield generators which detonates like a bomb. Secondary explosions shudder the Voltron as it spins in on a collision course with the Queen of Mayhem. The SSS Effluence is crushed and shredded by the g-forces. The final bilge tanks rupture spewing sewage all over the exterior of the Voltron. Nine life forms in pressure suits are left drifting in its wake as it attempts to orient itself for a ramming attack on the Queen of Mayhem...
 
(Excellent strategy. Didn't even need to get it down to a planet. I salute you.)

Captain's Log
Stardate 07.07.04
SSS Percipience

While waiting for communications from the fleet, the Effluence suddenly burst into action. An explosive stream of waste blasted out it's rear end destroying the Voltron's shield generator. It was wide open for attack. Sensors indicate survivors from the Effluence floating nearby. I order my crew to get in close enough to pick them up. As the transport beams crackle and the crew of the Effluence are brought on board, the sewage in the area began to form into exotic shapes. A strange rythmic pulse began to beat through the forms. A swaying jungle rhythm, a crazy backbeat, the voltron unit begins to waver as the sewage forms around it. It's... Can it be... Bob Marley? (Sorry, no offense to Marley fans for making him out of shit, I already used Jerry Garcia.) It is, a giant ganja smokin' Marley. What the hell?

The hippie technology! It's been activated. This is gonna be tough. Suddenly, I notice that all the lines in my hand are like little roads that go this way and that. Wow, I'm so tall. I feel like I can touch the sky. Dude, Spurietta is so hot the way she's dancing. I think I'll go dance with her for awhile.
 
SSS Queen of Mayhem
'things are turning sour'

Admiral, we pick up fluctuations in the primary Voltron defense shields. It has been attacked from up close. The shields are down and we register multiple explosions and breaches of its hull. Wait...shields are coming up again...Admiral...I detect shit near the voltron unit...the SSS Effluence attacked the voltron unit with shit...brilliant maneuver! Hold on...the voltron unit seems to be on a collision course...Admiral, I have run the similations and we cannot evade in any scenario...I suggest we evacuate immediately'

Admiral spuriousmonkey remained silent for several seconds. This was not what he had expected of this confrontation. On of Earth's most powerful battleships could not defeat a single Scerlag Voltron Unit. It was the unthinkable scenario. This was one situation that could not be turned into a victory. And the consequences for the future seemed daunting. How could Sciforum Starfleet hold off a major attack by the scerlag? We were outgunned and outclassed. Maybe it would be better to go down with the ship?

'Transfer your database to the 'SSS wasp factory Hal. I will need you there', the admiral responded.

The SSS Wasp Factory was a fast corvette classe attack/scout ship that was part of a large fleet of smaller warships in the docks of the Queen of Mayhem.

'Program the Queen of Mayhem to intercept the voltron unit and ram it. With all guns blazing please. I want to see a big show in the sky, a grand fireworks display, when I flee with my tail between my legs. I will now go to the Wasp factory. Launch the Wasp Factory as soon as I am strapped in. Send a message to Delron Draconis: "My apologies Sir, but I am afraid you will have to find another docking place. I congratulate you on your brave actions. signed Rear Admiral Spuriousmonkey."

'I do hope that people will forgive me for losing the Queen of Mayhem. I will miss the old lady.'
 
"captain, two miuten to weapons range"

"All right..Ann, send cover for all our friends. Special cover for the Queen of Mayhem. She looks like she is gonna fall apart"

"Ann, all reamining vessels are to engage the Voltron Unit at my will, we should be able to prevent the Voltron unit from recharging its shield"

"Yasser, prepare the Martyr. we Might need him"

"Captain, I am picking up something very disturbing.." Sergei, the science officer said.

"What is it?"

"It appears to be the legendary Bob Marley. only it is made out of a pile of shit"

"Sergei..."

"yes sir?"

"next time you see something like that, don't bother mentionning it to me, ok?"

"Aye sir"
 
Quick thinking is required. Nine brave men and women cling to my armor. The particulate samplers are overwhelmed by the refuse put out by the explosion of thier ship. A quick message to the Admiral, "Copy that, sir. Good luck."

I still need a ship though. While a Duelist can last a good while without help, I have nine people with limited air supplies, and even longer in-system ranges are difficult without a carrier ship. My mind and the computers in Corinthus crank through a wide range of possibilities. One pops up. Without the AI on board, the quantum computers wired to my brain make short work of the Queen's security. And just as my records show, the Traveler is aboard the Queen. It was carried as a back-up, in case they needed a carrier. I move through cyberspace and establish direct remote control, and pull the ship out. I move to rendevous with it outside of the battle area. A quick check shows that it's fully stocked with the supplies needed for me to go back into the fight. This is going to be fun. Nine men are nervous about the evil chuckle that shakes the massive form they cling to as it moves towards the destroyer sized vessel it used to call home.
 
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