Scivillage

Animal, Tiger - Kunax
Day 14:

I had been trapped for days in a empty hut, with little food and only the poisonous fire-water to drink.
Finally the door was open from the outside, it was spuriousmonkey, but before i could get up he had already turn around and started running away.
I followed after spuriousmonkey in slow pace still feeling the effects of the scirum, by the time i reach the tree spuriousmonkey had climbed he had already reach it top.
I wonder for a while if i should try and clime up there, or perhaps try shake the tree, but each time i look up, i would get a headache, and all the thing around me would start to slowly spine.

Further into the forest i saw the strangest thing. The village cat was chasing after a screaming WellCookedfetus, i had taught him well, perhaps one day he would grow up to be a tiger just like me.

(not felling very creative, the game is broken)
 
WellCookedFetus said:
cool skill,
I really demand someone be placed under the title of ?Waste Manager? or better yet ?Pooper-scooper? I elected Proud_Muslim. I invoke the 4th law of the land:
Click to expand...
We already have a waste management. It's Italiano. But if Proud_Muslim wants, he can also do it. If you all think I should add him to that role without his permission, let me know as well.
 
Put Proud_Muslim under "Pooper-Scooper" then... and yes do it without his permission
sgrin.gif
.

I did not notice Italiano in sanitation, perhaps he ran way in horror, I mean you all have crap that is definitely a 11 on the 1-10 shit-o-meter.

Day 4: After trapping the tiger and getting no recognition for my accomplishments I started feeling horny as beign treated like crap makes me feel like this, so I went to sargentlard and austere, paid them with a old coupon for 2cents off cat food, and then began a three-some BSMS orgy… Unfortunately for them may acts of pleasure involve smacking them upside the head with a hammer, it was over in 30 seconds... and they said they could last a long time, pathetic.

Later I was told the tiger escaped the worm, I talk to Kunax about how he got out and he calmed that he never fell for my trickery, his oder made me suspicious that he was lying, I should have figured tape worms are not exactly strong rope. So I decided to do what I do best: MUTALATE. With lighting desert jumping mouse speed (I have been told that’s what I look like in action) I attempted to chopped his tail off and grabbed on to his tail he turned around and tried to eat me fortunately his tail was in the way, I jumped off and watch him run around in circles then fold in on to him self like a snake eating its tail and now all that left of the tiger is a basball size super-dense hairy numb. This was not planed in my attack but I had a good laugh about it.
 
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Dieing? no man, the town is not dieing, its just once I'm done people will mistake scivillage for a leper colony!
 
Stopped back home during my scouting trip to find the perfect location for Sciforest. Spurious had been around, snooping for muffins I'm sure. I'm in a good mood today so I'll leave a tray out for him before I go again. If I'm not extra nice to him, he might tell people I'm alive. Back to the forest. A revolution awaits.
 
As I was walking down the village (leper colony) I spot a plate full of muffins and I quickly swipe them away. I shoved them in my mouth and I ran off. "This must have been the work SwedishFish" I thought, but who cares. What matters is that the muffins were mighty fine.
 
those were super magic mushrooms fool! I mean muffins are not usually purple with green hair growing on them, at least muffins that are less then 5 years old!
 
Animal, Tiger - Kunax
Day 15:

I had been tricked and deceived by the little foul creature know as WellCookedFetus, somehow he had made me eat my self, everything was black now, the last thing i remember was his insane laughter as he ran away.
Something was changing, i could fell my legs grow back out, everything was still black, but i tried to run away anyway. It did not go to well, I gave up after hitting every tree in range.
As time passed my entire body reshaped back in to its old form, but something was different i was a little bigger, clearly i was the biggest tiger ever now, weighing in at around 400kg, I wonder if i could even take on the huge water buffalo i had seen further down the river.

To thank WellCookedFetus, I caught the dirty little bastard and carried him to the waterfall where i tried to drown him, but he was a slippery bugger, and I had a hard time keeping him under the water, soon it had turned in to a game of pushing a screaming WellCookedFetus under the water.
Each time WellCookedFetus remerged from the water he would be more and more clean, the dirt from living in a old well disappearing fast, sadly the game did not last, WellCookedFetus finally escaped, running for the village butt naked and very clean.

Day 16: The Moon and the muffin.

I had spending most of the night trying to catch the moons reflection in the water by the waterfall, I had tried clawing, biting and even jumping it from different places, still i had not been able to catch it. Tired and wet i gave up hunting the moon and started heading back to my new hid out, SwedisFish forest hut.

When i got there there was lights in the windows, and i could see someone move around inside, I hid in the bushes, waiting to see who it was and thinking about what to do, when the door finally open and SwedisFish exited the hut and headed for the forest.
As i sneak after SwedisFish, passing the door to the hut, i caught something a scent in the air i had not smelled in a long time, muffins, easy distracted my the aroma I change direction and went inside the hut to find a hole lot of freshly made muffins.

After eating a some of the muffins, i got the idea that SwedisFish had brought the muffins to the hut, Quickly I snug back outside and started chasing SwedisFish, but this time i was keeping a distance, hopefully unseen, perhaps there was a tree of muffins
 
Well if you haven't notice I’m always naked, only Barbie’s cloths would fit me, and I’m not a transvestite! As for clean that to is also a benefited as getting the stench off me from my now septic tank ex-home has been of great difficulty. But I did not run back to the village as the river runs off to the nuclear power plant, after spending some time in the heat-transfer chamber I noticed a lot of radioactive waste leakage...

Kunax was swimming in wesmorris’s pool enjoy his fatter appearance induce from compression recoil thermal expansion, wesmorries was bitching at him to get out of his pool and not eat him at the same time, then I come in and in a deep booming voice I say “wesmorris get away from the pool” in shock and looking like the pansy he is wesmorris moves away quickly, before Kunax can even turn around to look at his doom I yell “Cannonball!” flattening Kunax under all 14 glowing radioactive green tons of me! Wesmorris began screem about his pool being destroyed I tell him to shutup and just then laser beams come out of my eyeballs striking Wesmorris like lightning, but before I could observe the damage cause I ran over to Rogue Consciousness ask for some vodka to throw in my eyes to relieve the horrible burning sensation! laser vision seems to have its weak points.
 
(interesting al thou a bit predictable, 1 down 47 left)

As WellCookedFetus ran to the bar several units from S.H.I.T(Secretly Hidden International Transvestites) emergency division A.S.S(Atomic Sub Section), arrived at the scene of the accident.

They found wesmorris laying unconscious at the scene with mild body and facial burn, some hours later, after having sufferer a long nasty session of gay SM, wesmorris was released with his wound dressed and cleaned and his ass hurting bad.

The SHIT. ASS. squad continued on there hunt for the renegade rad monster, they found him stuck in the roof of the local bar, where he apparently was drinking huge amount of the local brew, a brew which was later was defined as being highly toxic, and hallucinogenics.

Getting the WellCookedFetus back to the SHIT HQ, turned out to be harder then first visioned, luckily the scirum he consumed, had knocked WellCookedFetus cold, so he was not resisting.
After finally getting WellCookedFetus strapped up the SHIT. ASS. squad was able to airlift and unconscious WellCookedFetus, taking him to there secret research center, some where on the other side of the globe, never to be seen again

edit:spell check
 
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You should have mention it took three helicopters to lift me, Now I'm in Transylvania in the village to transsexual and ooooh god help me it is rocky horror all over again! Dam you S.H.I.T and A.S.S! Thankfully all the dancing in erotic underclothes and old rock and roll music brought down my radiation induce swelling. Placing my self in a box marked “Rocky’s Penis Enhancer” I mailed my self back to scivil were a very surprised NeoBeetnik38 found me were his lame dick fixer should have been. Running of I returned to the forests to find that Proud_Muslim finally shoveled the shit out of my home, telling him he missed a spot and to clean it bitch, Proud_Muslim got right on it like a stupid ass. After his job was completed I shoved him between the broken sewage pipe that runs through the bottom of the well so that he re-routes the scum back through the pipes by using his own GI track as the replacement pluming. Its actually a very interesting sight seeing him with a pipe up his butt and another coming out of his mouth and him sucking like a stupid fish, watching him is like watching a fire… a fire that makes farting diarrhea sounds. To keep him sucking all I need to do is keep a computer modified picture of Arafat smacking Sharon upside the head in front of PM's face. With home repaired the evil that is I now slumbers.
 
Well if anyone cares to know, I'd like to be the village bottom spanker!
 
I arrived back in town today. My two weeks away was nice, but it wasn't home... and I had business to attend to.

My first trip was to the town brothel. The owner, Proud Muslim, was had not been seeing thing my way before I left. It seems that the brothel clientele had been complaining about the incredible heat that is generated inside the building. Proud Muslim, being the cheap bastard that he is, didn't really care that it was too hot and continued to subject his clients to the barbaric treatment. I can only assume that he figured the best way to round out a whipping of "those damn christians" was if they were almost passing out from the heat as well. Sick little place really... but as sick as I think it is, there is still money to be made. Before I left, I pointed out to Proud Muslim that I own a cave outside of town that is quiet, isolated, and most importantly... cool. Proud Muslim however deemed himself too important to sink down to "the level of fucking non-muslim caveman" and refused to do business. However, I have 'skills' which would even make proud muslim come behind.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to figure out if Proud Muslim was a guy or girl, so I decided not to use those 'skills'... and resorted to cold hard cash. I returned to the brothel today to make the suggestion to Proud. I payed HIM to use my cave for a day, permitting that he/her cleans up after the clients, in the hopes that he'll see the utility in the place. Proud Muslim accepted.

As I was leaving I saw my ex, SwedishFish, run and hide in the bushes. It is ashame that she is visiting the brothel... when she really shouldn't need to pay. Sadly, she never really seemed interested in that aspect of life. I was always like "what are we going to do tonight" and she was always like "the same thing we do everynight pinky, try to take over the world!" ... I really wish we had medication on this island...
 
(what about Proud Muslim mirror, or are you ppl blind to his stupidity, im just cuirous)
 
(Hey, I'm lining him up to have an accident... paitience young one)
 
WellCookedFetus had changed since his return from the S.H.I.T research facility, each day that past since his escape, the need to be nice and help other people had grown stronger.
One day WellCookedFetus raced in to town, the burning desire to be a good monster had finally become to much for him, as he enter the village he ran to the first person he saw, and started helping where he could do most good.

The person he had seen was Absane the blacksmith, and the work WellCookedFetus did was jumping up and down on the blow pipe(don't know correct Eng. Word) to feed the fire air. WellCookedFetus had worked hard in the blacksmith all day, Absane was very happy for the help, he gave WellCookedFetus some food and allow him to sleep in the blacksmith near the fire place.
It had been a hard days for the little fella, so that night WellCookedFetus crawled behind a big bucket of coal near the fire and fell in to a deep sleep, happy that he had made a good days work.

For days WellCookedFetus ran around helping the villages, doing simple tasks or work for them easing there life's. He painter fences and windows, cut the grass, sweep the side walks and many many other things, he even refused to be paid, saying the pleasure from helping was his payment.

The villager's where happy to have WellCookedFetus running around helping them, but they could see he was troubled and sadden by his little size, do to all the things that was out of his reach.
So one night they got together, and with the help of a female human model, made from cart board and duck tape combined with many prayers to the local deity, WellCookedFetus was fused with the model and turned in the a really live human, a real good looking one to boot.


Since WellCookedFetus had come to the village no one had seen the pooper scooper dude, shit had begun to pile up in the most inconvenient places.
When things real began to stink a new person arrived at the village, Otheadp he was quickly assigned the task of scooping poop with his hands, since the scooper had disappear with PM.
unfortunately Otheadp was a lazy pothead, he was often caught with his head in a pot blowing smoke out his ass.
The villager's did not know what to do, none wanted the pooper scooping job, so instead they decided to keep otheadp around, only sending him the the bottom spanker when thing got out of hand, which was quite often.
 
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