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[scheherazade]

Once bitten twice shy as they say.

I've was deceived and betrayed by my ex so trust that I once had has been lost forever because people change over time and no one really knows how that change will affect a marriage or any relationship for that matter. I'm not saying that I too didn't change as well but never to the point of betrayal of someone I loved once. This kind of problem happens many times and can't be prevented so I don't bother trying to find anyone else ever again. It is much better for me because I'd never be able to trust again so therefore anyone I'd become friends with, I'd never trust them enough to become a loving relationship. I'd like to have someone to love but could never be able to trust so that won't be fair to them.

Thank you for sharing this, cosmictraveler.

Many of us have had our trust broken and I well understand where you are coming from. Yet, in the end, when we deny ourselves the opportunity to try again, it is ourselves that we wound the most.

I work with horses, which I have found to be an extraordinarily trusting species. However, once you break their trust, it takes a long time to regain any ground lost. For every one mistake you make with a horse, I estimate it takes 50 positive reinforcements to move beyond, and the trigger will ever remain, because horses don't forget.

Neither do people, where such matters as trust are concerned. Once one has lived a few decades, we are all wounded warriors. Still, most attest that the experience of a loving relationship is a thing worth striving for.

For you, I wish for the sun to shine on your heart, that you may love once again, even if you walk very slowly and cautiously back toward the light.

 

[cosmictraveler]

For you, I wish for the sun to shine on your heart, that you may love once again, even if you walk very slowly and cautiously back toward the light

Thank you for your kind and uplifing words of wisdom. I have learned to love again only this time I love nature and all of its beauty. I've found by supplimenting nature for a companion I never worry about being stabbed in the back because nature, at least, smacks you upside of your head and doesn't try to hide from you either. :itold:

 

[scheherazade]

Thank you for your kind and uplifing words of wisdom. I have learned to love again only this time I love nature and all of its beauty. I've found by supplimenting nature for a companion I never worry about being stabbed in the back because nature, at least, smacks you upside of your head and doesn't try to hide from you either.

That's excellent! You can't go wrong loving Mother Nature and she metes out her favors and judgements impartially.

Likewise, I also love nature and horses are my passion. I was practicing my canter while other little girls were into skipping and jump rope, lol....
The heart and mind of a horse are a thing of delight to me. Here's my latest 'love', a young gelding who is the culmination of 20 years of study and selected breeding. Just started into training, he is only 14 months old and an honor roll student, lol.....Brightest young horse I have ever worked with.

He's mostly Morgan, with a bit of QH and Thoroughbred, the mixture that my step-dad's grandmother bred for the U.S. Cavalry during the era of Louis Riel.

 

[Fraggle Rocker]

This thread is very interesting. It clearly is demonstrating that while certain.....ahem......physical attributes and their display...... will draw the predictable biological response from most men, that they are indeed looking for more in a partner than mere 'window dressing'.

As I mentioned earlier, deep down inside we're all little boys. It comes down to how well you can take charge of the relationship with him. Letting him have a sportscar (or letting him play in a rock and roll band, as some of us do) is a lot better for both of you than letting him choose your mate. That little boy inside you actually needs a mother, not a little girl to play house with!

The fact that all men are little boys and all women are mothers actually works out most of the time. We need each other. You just don't want the relationship between those two to be the dominant component of your relationship with each other.

Many of us have had our trust broken and I well understand where you are coming from. Yet, in the end, when we deny ourselves the opportunity to try again, it is ourselves that we wound the most.

You just cannot live the rest of your life not trusting anybody. No matter how badly you might get hurt the second time around, it's not as bad as letting your heart shrivel up inside you.

This is where having some really astute, trustworthy friends comes in handy. They'll be far more objective about your new squeeze than you are. In fact in such circumstances they actually care more about your welfare than you do, because they're not blinded by sheer lust, or simply a wistfulness for something that you're a little too old for now but don't want to let it get away forever.

I work with horses, which I have found to be an extraordinarily trusting species. However, once you break their trust, it takes a long time to regain any ground lost. For every one mistake you make with a horse, I estimate it takes 50 positive reinforcements to move beyond, and the trigger will ever remain, because horses don't forget.

That's the nice thing about dogs. Once you get a dog to love you he'll stand by you through damn near anything. One day you'll wake up in tears, realizing you've been a real asshole to him and you'll decide to become a better person. Human-dog relationships are so much more straightforward than human-human relationships. It's not so easy to lie to yourself about them.

Neither do people, where such matters as trust are concerned. Once one has lived a few decades, we are all wounded warriors. Still, most attest that the experience of a loving relationship is a thing worth striving for.

When I was a kid in the Wild West I remember people telling newbies, "You gotta get right back on the horse that threw ya." When you get thrown by a human, well you don't really get back on the same one, but you don't give up on the whole species.

If you find yourself making rotten choices consistently, it's probably time to see a therapist. Sure, there's obviously something wrong with those women, but there must be something just ever so slightly wrong with you if you keep hooking up with them more often than the laws of probability can account for. And I do mean "ever so slightly." Sometimes people are actually a little bit too kind, a little bit too forgiving, which hardly seems like a character flaw. Perhaps it's not, but it tends to attract people who need more than an average dose of kindness and forgiving. You really don't need to spend your life being a magnet for them.

 

[Repo Man]

"Ever since I gave up hope.... I feel better."

 

[Pinwheel]

It sounds like she's tired of that and may want someone with your particular qualities, someone who can't cheat on her even if he wanted to.

LOL!

HERE LIES DARKSIDZZ.
HE NEVER ACCOMPLISHED ANYTHINGBECAUSE HE WAS LAZY AND AFRAID.
WHAT A WASTE OF LIFE.

He pissed of a few people thats something.

 

[Bebelina]

Here we are in a place where trolls of all kinds regularly post up threads just to see what other members will say in reaction. Staff cheerfully participates in this.

This thread is no different from any of those - the crux of the dog - biscuit is the responses and their emotional content, the personal issues that pop up and the retorts that get thrown. Science? Not so much.

Hey - some of us are floor mats and need to have someone treat us mean to satisfy some emotional need. So what?

I will give you what you asked for Darkie, but no advice. If you want her to put her cigarettes out on your naked flesh for shifts and grins, go for it!

*ahem*

My first love was right out of high school. She was beautiful, well built and very attractive. Also very greedy....

"everyone knows you were discrete,
but there were so many people you just had to meet,
without your' clothes...and everybody knows." Leonard Cohen

She was always out banging some rich fellow behind my back. I would quit her, then a few months later she would get tired of it and beg me to take her back. I was a doormat, so I did.

This went on for many years. Then she met this rapist. He had a corvette and a house and lots of money. He raped her. She stuck with him and moved in with him. That worked out for a couple of months, then she was back knocking at my door, begging me to see her again.

Like a fool I bit, said OK. She went back home to get her stuff..then didn't come back. Turned out they had a super - hot sex session when she went home to pack. I didn't hear from her for a couple more weeks, then lather, rinse repeat. This time she let slip what was up.

His dick did not work unless I was in the picture somewhere. If he thought she was seeing me, he was hot to trot and ready to go. If I was gone, his dick did not work. If he found out that she had seen me, that was the cue for a major makeout session, after he had slapped her around a bit. She figured this out and was using me to keep it hot with him.

I moved out of town, got an unlisted phone number and instructed everyone who had my contact info not to give it to her. Yes, she tried. That was many years ago and I have never regretted dumping her like the cheap trash she was.

What a wonderful story, I hope things worked out for her without you in the picture.

 

[spidergoat]

I would totally take back my old girlfriend, Amy Winehouse.

 

[NMSquirrel]

I would totally take back my old girlfriend, Amy Winehouse.

why do i get the impression that a relationship with amy would be like a relationship with the 'Nanny' fran dreshner...(the voice)

 

[spidergoat]

Call me weird, I like that voice.

 

[NMSquirrel]

Call me weird, I like that voice.

weirdo..
i like the body, i could put up with the voice for her body, but not for a relationship..(specially when she plays it up)
when she talks normal its not so bad..

 

[chimpkin]

I would totally take back my old girlfriend, Amy Winehouse.

Necrophilia...the strong urge to crack open a cold one!

 

[Anti-Flag]

I would totally take back my old girlfriend, Amy Winehouse.

Well she's probably in better condition now she's off the crack.

 

[spidergoat]

Yeah, she's probably a lot less trouble now.

 

[chimpkin]

Formaldehyde is the new botox.

 

[Shogun]

I keep thinking about the past with this girl, it wasn't very fun but she said things like "I'll do anything for you" and "I want you to know I would move away just to be near you" and other weird stuff that I took 1/2 at face value 1/2 at insaneness. She cut ties with me completely around January and I never heard from her, she ignored everything I tried to do e-mail, chat, etc. Not feelin so happy..... just cuz i thought maybe she wans't full of it but she was :L

My question to you all is why someone would lie like that? I even called her on it often she'd deny she was lying and stuff idk what a shitty day

Lori I'm a wuss sorry

There you answered your own question, don't be a wuss. Also, you NEVER call a girl on promises like that, because it makes you look clingy and desperate.

I am not sure why she lied like that, you gotta ask a girl to be sure, but I am guessing she did it to keep you on the hook, because that was the effect.

You cannot be a wuss.

If you stop being a wuss I'm sure you'll be able to find someone else better.If you become a wuss and run to her every time she calls, man...no offense but your future is gonna look pretty bleak and prepared to be cheated on.It is hard to explain on a forum what exactly to do, but here are a few general guidelines. This is the way to save your reputation, and you can chose what to do afterwards, and if you REALLY want to go back with her, its your choice.

-Do NOT be desperate (if you can't do that, at least pretend that you are not desperate)

-Pretend you could care less

-You can talk to her but make sure YOU end all conversations, and make sure you don't break under pressure.

-Keep yourself occupied with something else

-Do NOT get to clingy and attached

-Do NOT spend too much time with her. More time you spend with her, the more chance you'll show a weak side and break under pressure. Sometimes showing a weak side works on girls, but make sure you don't do it in a way that screams "wuss"

-It is a cardinal rule that if you feel that you are gonna mess up, get the hell out

-Here is the main rule: BE CALM ASSERTIVE

After some time, YOU can CHOSE on whether to revive the relationship or be just friends. I can't chose for you man. You gotta get in the mindset that YOU are the one doing the choosing, not the one being chosen. All I gotta say is that you messed the first time, don't repeat the mistakes. If you are really panicking over it and is scared to call, just call. If you mess it up, you got nothing to lose. You gotta MOVE ON WITH LIFE.

 

[darksidZz]

New Job

I found a new job with a security company nearby. They just got a new contract with a building here and well anyways tomorrow I go for orientation and training. This should be a positive step in paying off my car and which I owe only 5k on then I can get back to college and pay for it myself without taking loans out. Of course living at home with parents means I'll never get laid but what can you do huh? I even had girls throw themselves at me online and in person but managed to screw those up so =p

Wish me luck in the next month it'll be very interesting

PS Also the girl that works at Disc Replay is young but when she bent down to get DVD's for me I saw her ass kind and she had tattoos on it lol I was so mesmerized by her fineness

 

[scheherazade]

Good luck with the new employment. With most jobs, good attendance and reliability counts for a lot, so areas to keep on top of, just a suggestion as one who reviews probation of new hires.

As for your 'love life' or lack thereof, I suggest being well groomed (basically just clean and tidy) and rather quiet and shy, though obviously 'interested'. Surely some young thing with her own pad will drag you home and sharpen her claws on you.....

If you're just looking for a romp, the 'cougars' used to be out on the town on 'Ladies night', usually a Wednesday, but if you are a nice guy looking for a lasting relationship, you likely need a lady who is into the nursing or early childhood education field to recognize your potential.

I know that a lot of fellows chase after the painted ponies that have it all on display, but all that glitters is not gold...

 

[darksidZz]

Yea I plan to get some new tires for my car and a laptop later once I've paid the car ahead 3 or 4 months.

 

[scheherazade]

Yea I plan to get some new tires for my car and a laptop later once I've paid the car ahead 3 or 4 months.

Yes. Deal with financial matters prudently.

Guys often think that women only are interested in fellows with dough. Possibly a significant portion are concerned that a man could provide in the event of raising a family.

Most women these days can earn enough to support themselves, but they don't want to take on a fellow who is a financial sink hole.

My advice to youth....do not encumber yourself with debt that cannot act as it's own capital. Avoid debt at all, if possible. For most commodities, I suggest saving for it. You may change your mind about really wanting that item, and most technology keeps getting cheaper over time. Intelligent spending will save you a bundle.